Secrets of My Soul: A Memoir of Extraordinary True Stories, of a Spiritual Journey, Which Made Me Know the Truth about Life, Death and the

Secrets of My Soul: A Memoir of Extraordinary True Stories, of a Spiritual Journey, Which Made Me Know the Truth about Life, Death and the

by Olive Neil Noseworthy


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452576725
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 09/09/2013
Pages: 378
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.84(d)

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Secrets Of My Soul

A memoir of extraordinary true stories, of a spiritual journey, which made me know the truth about life, death and the Other Side.

By Olive Neil Noseworthy

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2013 Olive Neil Noseworthy
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-7672-5


In The Beginning

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Kahlil Gibran The Prophet

Raised in an upper-middle class family in a small town called Spaniard's Bay, in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador in eastern Canada, I lived a life that most people would consider Heaven on Earth. Spaniard's Bay is a beautiful small town and very picturesque, and one of the great features of this town is that it is in a bay, and thus surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean, and our house was situated directly across the road from the ocean, so I had access to the beach. As a child, I felt I had everything I needed, at least in the physical sense.

I remember my friend's mother, Minnie Gardiner, telling me about the day I was born. Jocelyn was one of my closest friends, and she lived across the road from my house. Mrs. Gardiner would begin the story by telling me that she remembered the day very vividly. Dr. Drover, after being summoned, had arrived at my house carrying his large, black, leather medical bag. Everyone in the surrounding area knew that Dr. Drover had arrived, and there would be news of a newborn baby soon. It was always so exciting to wait for the arrival of a dear and precious baby, and it was even more exciting to wonder if it was going to be a boy or a girl. There were already two girls in my family, so maybe this time it would be a boy.

On September 16, the doctor left the house, and the news was out. It was a beautiful baby girl! My parents had anxiously waited for the arrival of their child, and now they had another precious daughter. They had hoped that this time it would be a boy, but now that their baby had arrived, all that mattered was that she was healthy. When I questioned Mrs. Gardiner about my mode of transportation, she told me that Dr. Drover carried me to our house in his big, black medical bag! My curiosity was satisfied.

I had everything I wanted and more. Financially, we were well off and consequently I was never in need. I was showered with material gifts and much love. I had many friends and my childhood was full of fun, laughter and play. I had a wonderful childhood filled with precious memories; for I was given a childhood that most people only read about in storybooks.

My life was complete, but for some strange reason, I felt an emptiness; and it was an emptiness that I could not explain. I felt I did not belong and did not fit in. I felt like a stranger in a foreign land and I did not know why I had these feelings. I had always felt different, and I even looked and acted different. There was no physical resemblance to any other family member, not even extended family. As the years went by, I became somewhat accustomed to hearing my parents making comments, as they tried to figure out which family member I looked or acted like. The only conclusion they could come up with was that both my grandmothers were small-framed and petite women. Other than that, nothing else made any sense.

As I grew older, I questioned in my mind if it was possible that I had been mixed up in the nursery room while in the hospital. I knew this was possible because I had heard stories of mothers who were given the wrong baby; however, I quickly dismissed this from my mind because I remembered that I had been born at home. Then the thought came to me that it was quite possible that I was adopted. However, if this was the case, why were my parents always trying to figure out who in the family I looked or acted like? None of this made any sense to me.

As the time went by, I knew I had to search for the truth, and search I did. However, in the end, the truth revealed the same story as Mrs. Gardiner had told me, except for the mode of transportation in Dr. Drover's big, black medical bag!

Left with the unknown, the alienation I felt at times was almost unbearable. Many times in desperation I sought out places in nature; I would sit in the corner of our garden or I would sit on a huge rock on the seashore, gaze out into the distant waters and pray, hoping someone would hear my prayers and take me back home to where I belonged. I had a lingering homesickness that I could not explain. I suffered in private and was left with the emptiness of the unknown, searching for the truth.


Love Is No Stranger

A good idea is to give love, then you will feel love.

Marshall Stewart Ball Kiss of God

From my earliest childhood memories, I can always remember being in the presence of loving souls. I was very fortunate to have been exposed to a loving family environment whose teachings of love were taken seriously. At a very young age, I can remember knowing that love is a gift from God, that love represents God, and that to know God, you have to love God as well as others, including yourself. In addition, if you do not love God, you do not love yourself, and therefore you are not capable of loving others.

I was the middle child of five daughters, two older and two younger. I was the youngest for ten years and was supposed to have been the last child. However, little did my mother and father know that God had other plans, and so two other baby girls were born. I did not have any brothers and I considered this to be to my advantage. My father worked outside of our town and came home only on the weekends. Those were special times for me because on Saturdays, I would spend time with my dad. My father grew his own vegetables, and I remember the most enjoyable part for me was when it was harvest time. I loved it when it was time for my father to have the soil tilled and the rows of soil opened up, and the potatoes were exposed. I helped pick the potatoes from the ground with my dad and learned from watching and helping. During the week, I had my mom. I also knew how to make bread, do laundry, iron clothes and clean the house; however, I learned very quickly that I did not like to house clean. I never had to do any work; I helped if I chose. My mother and two older sisters did the housework; but even then, they did not do it all the time because my mother usually had a housekeeper come to our house.

I experienced love not only from my immediate family but also from my extended family. I found every uncle and aunt to be loving and kind. However, there are certain ones I feel a stronger bond with than others. Uncle Stan is my mother's brother, and he was always so caring and loving. It was not until after his death that I came to understand the close bond, which exists between us. Then there was my Uncle Abel, whom I loved dearly and I always loved to be in his company. I never knew until after he had died why I loved him so much and why there was such a special bond of love between us.

Uncle Allan and his first wife, Aunt Lucy, showed me much affection and love and as a little girl, I remember how they would buy me special gifts and do things for me to show how special they believed me to be. One of my most cherished gifts is a small cup and saucer Aunt Lucy gave me during one of my summer visits. I also remember that Aunt Lucy would always make me Caramel Square Cookies because she knew I loved them so much. On one occasion while visiting Uncle Allan and Aunt Lucy in Corner Brook, I recall wanting some sweet pickled baby onion, which I love. There was none in the house so Uncle Allan went out to buy some. He was gone for such a long time because he had difficulty finding just the right onions that I liked. He had to shop all over town until he finally found them.

Then there was Uncle Doug and Aunt Flo. Uncle Doug is my father's brother and his wife is Flo. I always felt so much love from them. It was not until I had gotten older, that I found out they wanted to adopt me.

Uncle Bernard was also very loving and kind. Uncle Bernard was married to my father's sister, my Aunt Evelyn. One year, when they visited from New York, they took my oldest sister back with them for a vacation. She was only eleven years old at the time. I remember them telling me that they would take me also, except I was too young. It would be another time.

Uncle Ted I loved and I knew he loved me. He is my father's brother. Uncle Ted always sent special gifts at Christmas time. My first year in nursing school, he sent me money for Christmas and I bought a silver Bulova watch, which I have to this day. When I got married, he sent me a large sum of money for my wedding gift, and I bought a hostess cart. It is now many years later and my hostess cart is still in my dining room. When I was in high school, Uncle Ted offered me a gift that most girls only dream about when they are young. He sent me brochures and information about the University of Waterloo, Ontario. He offered to pay for my post-secondary education and for me to attend the University of Waterloo with my cousin, his daughter Joan, who was a student at this university. He told me I could choose any program of study that I wished. I could have chosen medicine, nursing, business, or any program that interested me.

I even experienced love also from our neighbors. Because Spaniard's Bay is just a small community, we knew our neighbors very well. Our neighbor, William (Bill) Hedderson, he is Mr. Hedderson to me, lived directly across the road from our house and was the principal of our school. He has a daughter Dawn, who was around my age and we were very close friends. Mr. Hedderson knew my father was away from home working during the week, so he made sure I had a car ride to and from school every day. Some mornings I would be running late but, it did not matter; he showed much patience and love and would park his car in front of our house and wait for me to come out.

Another neighbor I found to be very loving and kind is Shirley Gosse, Mrs. Gosse to me. She also has a daughter around my age, Karen, and we were very close friends. I practically lived at their house. I felt as though I was one of them. I remember Mr. and Mrs. Gosse going on vacation one year to Nassau, the Bahamas. After a couple of weeks, Mrs. Gosse returned with gifts for both Karen and me. The gifts she gave me were more than material gifts because she gave me the identical gifts she brought her own daughter! I learned two very important lessons that day. I learned that this lady was very loving and generous, and displayed her love for me by showing no difference between her daughter and me. I also learned that love does not coexist with jealousy. It occurred to me that Karen could have easily been upset because of jealousy; however, she wasn't. Another year the same thing happened. Mr. and Mrs. Gosse took a vacation to London, England. Again, upon their return, there were gifts for both Karen and me. Once again, the gifts were identical. One of the gifts we were given were identical black, patent leather shoes. Oh, how we loved those shoes!

Even though there was so much love in my life, I was not blind to the fact that not everyone or everything is perfect in this world. I started to recognize danger and experienced loss and pain at a very young age. It all began one day after I had just started school. I was only five years old and I noticed someone following me while walking home alone. He was much older than I was and maybe in his late teens or early twenties. At first I did not really think too much of it. However, the next day, there he was again, waiting outside the school on the other side, and once I started walking, he started walking, and the faster I walked, the faster he walked, and the faster I ran, the faster he ran. I started to experience fear like I had never known.

When I arrived home, I was so out of breath, I could hardly speak, but somehow I managed to tell my mother about the stranger who was waiting outside the school, and who was following me home. From that day onward, my grandfather walked me to school every morning, and was always outside every afternoon, waiting to walk me home. From the very first day my grandfather was by my side, this stranger disappeared.

I knew the feeling of fear and I was about to experience it again. My father was a very friendly man and it did not matter to him if a person was rich or poor. He had friends from all over our small town and from faraway places as well. There was one person in our town that was very poor, and he was so poor that his house was not painted and it looked old and run down. He himself looked very scary, having a long beard and, long, dirty looking hair and an old coat that was tattered and torn. He was always kind and friendly and I had no reason to be afraid of this man, except for the way he looked; and even though I knew my father was friends with him, it did not seem to console me much.

One particular Saturday afternoon, I opened the kitchen door to walk out into our back porch, at exactly the same time Mr. Billy Neil opened our back door to enter! I screamed at the top of my lungs and started to cry hysterically, all the while crouching down in the corner behind the door. My father came running and quickly grabbed me in his arms, and I clung on to my dad's neck for dear life, sobbing all the while. He took me inside into the kitchen and sat down with me on his lap, all the while trying to calm me down and apologizing to his dear friend, Mr. Neil. My dad offered his friend a chair and they both started talking, and not only did they talk to one another but they both also talked to me. It was at that moment that I came to appreciate the kindness and loving nature of this man and that I had nothing to fear.

After experiencing fear, I later experienced loss. One of my best friends, Jocelyn Gardiner, moved away because her father had accepted another position of work outside our province. It was a sad time for me. We promised we would write letters to one another and would always remain friends. In the beginning, I received one letter with a photo of her, with her mother and sister, celebrating her birthday; however, after that, no matter how many cards or letters I sent, I did not get any in return. I felt heart broken. We were such good friends, how could this happen? She too had sent me many letters. She too was heartbroken and did not understand how I could not answer her letters, and it was not until many years later we both learned the truth.

Mr. Humphries was an elderly man who walked to the post office each day and picked up the mail for all the neighbours in the area. Therefore, any cards, letters or parcels that our family wanted mailed, we would deliver them to his house. If there were any mail for us, he would give it to us each day. As a small child, I remember many times going to his house to pick up our mail. However, it was not until after his death, much to the shock of all the people in our town, bags and bags of mail were found in his shed! Years after my dear friend Jocelyn had moved away and we were much older; we received our letters of love from long ago. Our hearts were mended, and the mystery finally solved!

As a young child, I also experienced loss through death. Looking back, I do not think I fully understood what was happening, for all I remember was hearing that one of the students in our school had taken quite sick and would not get better. The doctor told her mom and dad that she had leukemia. It was about six months later that my friends and I were told, she had died. I asked my mother what this meant, and she told me that she had to go to Heaven. Go to Heaven, what did this mean? Why would she have to go away? Was anyone to go with her? I had so many questions that even my parents found it difficult to give me answers, and so I asked my older sisters, but they did not seem to have the answers either.

I heard people say that she was waking at her house, and so my friend and I wanted to go and visit her. It is as clear as though it happened yesterday. We knocked on the door and a woman answered, and we asked if we could see our friend. She just nodded her head. As we entered and were taken into the front room of the house, lying in a casket, very still, and not moving or speaking, was our friend from school. I remember no one spoke, and all I could hear were sobs and cries from the other people present. It was unbearable and I did not understand. All I knew was that our friend had to go away, to where I really did not know, for no one could really tell me where Heaven was, except to point upward to the sky!

It was a few years later, growing up in my small town by the sea, that I experienced sadness and grief once again. The news was out that a teenager had committed suicide! What was this? I did not know. What happened? My questions were answered very quickly as the devastating news flew around town worse than a windstorm. This was a student from my school but much older than me, for he was a teenager. I remembered him so well because he was the only one in our school who could play the piano with such excellence, yet he had never taken piano lessons, nor did he have a piano in his house! I did have a piano in my house because my dad bought it for me so I could take piano lessons, however, I could not play the piano as exceptional as he did, even though my music teacher had awarded me first place in a piano competition.

Excerpted from Secrets Of My Soul by Olive Neil Noseworthy. Copyright © 2013 Olive Neil Noseworthy. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents


Foreword....................     xiii     

Preface....................     xv     

Acknowledgments....................     xvii     

Introduction....................     xix     

Part 1: MY EARLY YEARS....................          

Chapter 1: In The Beginning....................     3     

Chapter 2: Love Is No Stranger....................     7     

Chapter 3: You Will Know It Is Him....................     19     

Part 2: MY MIDDLE YEARS....................          

Chapter 4: The Time Is Not Right....................     33     

Chapter 5: A Visit With My Heavenly Father....................     67     

Chapter 6: Why Is The Devil Always Chasing You?....................     77     

Chapter 7: Yes, But You Will Be Going Home....................     85     

Part 3: MY LATER YEARS....................          

Chapter 8: My Guardian Souls....................     119     

Chapter 9: An Untimely Death....................     135     

Chapter 10: A Meeting with My Guardian Souls....................     141     

Chapter 11: At Death's Door....................     147     

Chapter 12: Tragedy Turns Into Triumph....................     159     

Chapter 13: Soul Visitors....................     173     

Chapter 14: Living On Borrowed Time....................     179     

Chapter 15: The Power of Prayer....................     193     

Chapter 16: Spiritual Lessons....................     197     

Chapter 17: No Need To Say Good-bye; Just Goodnight....................     237     

Chapter 18: Angels In The Night....................     251     

Chapter 19: Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right....................     269     

Chapter 20: The Blue Butterfly....................     277     

Chapter 21: Unexpected Visitors....................     311     

Chapter 22: Love Never Dies....................     319     

Soul Signs....................     331     

Epilogue....................     345     

Conclusion....................     351     

The Olive Angel Foundation....................     353     

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