Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons: Half-@ssing It All Year Long

Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons: Half-@ssing It All Year Long

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The authors of the New York Times–bestselling Sh*tty Mom are back with a hilarious guide presenting common parenting scenarios with advice for getting through the year the sh*tty mom way.
Told in the same tongue-in-cheek voice as the original, this sequel is full of funny parenting tips and relatable stories for contemporary moms. Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons explores the occasions throughout the year that test every mother’s patience and inspire self-deprecating humor and that second glass of wine. With chapters organized by season, the book will teach you how to navigate the bumpy roads of motherhood, learn to laugh at the occasional parenting fail, and maybe even appreciate your own mother. Or not. Sample chapters for the sh*tty mom year include:
  • Fall: “Yes, We All Have to Be Here: The Annual PTO Funsraiser”
  • Winter: “Mom’s Real New Year’s Resolutions”
  • Spring: “I’m Running Off with the Gardner: April Fools!”
  • Summer: “Summer Reading Lists & Other Great Reasons Why You Don’t Home School”
The Emmy Award–winning TODAY show producers and self-proclaimed sh*tty moms, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, together with humorist Erin Clune, bring you the perfect book for mothers who don’t take themselves too seriously.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781613127193
Publisher: ABRAMS
Publication date: 04/05/2016
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Sales rank: 668,613
File size: 2 MB

About the Author

; Three-time Emmy award–winning producer Mary Ann Zoellner has worked at NBC news for 16 years. She lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.; Erin Clune is a journalist and humorist whose blogs include Life After NY, The Mischievous Mixologist, and her advice column, So What? Who Cares? Her work has been featured on NPR, The Rumpus, Thought Catalog, and Medium.

Table of Contents

Introduction 8

Section 1 Spring

1 Finding Your Lost Kids and Other Practical Spring Break Advice 11

2 The Coolest Birthday Party Ideas Ever for Moms Who Really, Really Love Their Kids! 18

3 Beat Your Rugs, Not Your Relatives: Spring-Cleaning Your Way to Personal Happiness 21

4 Matzo Balls, Lambs, and Locusts, Oh My! Whatever You Do This Holiday Season, Don't Get on the Neighborhood Listserv 25

5 Mean Girls Yoga: Signs Your Spring Exercise Regimen Isn't Right for You 30

6 Mommy's Running Off with the Gardener: April Fools'! 34

7 Moms with Girls: Psycho BFFs 38

8 Moms with Boys: Broken Bones 41

9 Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Weathering the Last Month of School 44

Section 2 Summer

10 School's Out. Nobody Panic! 49

11 Sorting Through the Stuff Your Kids Brought Home from School, Then Throwing Most of It Away 55

12 Suggestions for Summer Vacations #1: Hiding the Rails 59

13 Suggestions for Summer Vacations #2: Visiting Relatives 62

14 Suggestions for Summer Vacations #3: Camping 66

15 Should I Have Had One More? No. And That Baby Hates You 69

16 Go Away, Kid: How to Make Sure Your "Homesick" Kid Goes to Camp 74

17 The Fourth of July for Kids: Lessons About America They Don't Teach in School 78

18 Help! My Babysitter Sucks! 81

19 This Is Why You Don't Homeschool: The Summer Reading List and Other Hallucinations 85

20 Your Only Goal Is Getting There: The Crazy Family Road Trip 89

21 The Last Week of Summer: The Final Frontier 93

Section 3 Fall

22 Your Babysitter Is Back in Session! Get the Kids Back to School so You Can Get Back to Life 99

23 The Neighborhood Carpool: Moms Do the Math 104

24 Braving the Bus Stop: A Field Guide for Anxious Moms 107

25 It's the Fall Harvest: Get Ready to Pick a Crap-Load of Apples! 111

26 Making a Healthy School Lunch Every Day: Never Gonna Happen. Don't Even Bother 114

27 Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Speaking in Code When You Meet the Teachers 118

28 Who Ruined Halloween? Pretty Much Motherf*%king Everyone! 121

29 Nothing Is Funny at 4:30 a.m.: Coping with the End of Daylight Saving Time 124

30 Miserable Bitches Unite!: The Annual PTO Fundraiser 128

31 The Thanksgiving Holiday: Who's Up for Chinese Takeout? 133

32 Five Good Reasons Not to Chaperone Your Child's Field Trip 136

33 Five Good Reasons to Chaperone Your Child's Field Trip 138

Section 4 Winter

34 Cold and Flu Season: Tired Old Wives' Tales for Tired Old Wives 141

35 The Solstice Sucks! A Winter Survival Quiz 145

36 Early Release (a.k.a. Extra Torture): Fighting Back Against Two-Hour School Days 148

37 Holiday Tipping: Handing Out Money for Baby Jesus 152

38 How to Make a Holiday Card That Isn't Ugly, Obscene, or Otherwise Inappropriate 158

39 New Year's Resolutions for Moms Who Can (Maybe) Do a Little Bit Better 161

40 Cabin Fever Is Real: What to Do If It Happens to You 165

41 If You Can Survive February, You Can Survive Anything. Even Valentine's Day 169

Afterword 174

Acknowledgments 175

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