She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband

She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband

by Helen Boyd


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Helen Boyd's partner, who had long been open about cross-dressing, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her partner were actually to transition—socially, legally, and medically. As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don't, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships. She's Not the Man I Married is a more expansive examination of gender in relationships for couples of all sexualities and readers who fall anywhere along the gender spectrum.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781580051934
Publisher: Da Capo Press
Publication date: 02/28/2007
Pages: 280
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.62(h) x 0.75(d)

Table of Contents

Preface     8
Author's note: on language & pronouns & taxonomy     17
Girl meets boy     21
Confession of a grown-up tomboy     48
The opposite of 49     87
Snips & snails & sugar & spice     124
Wearing the pants     161
Genitals are the least of it     198
Love is a many-gendered thing     231
Betty's afterword     264

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She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Most books about transgender accounts are about the person who is transitioning, this book is about the effects on other peoples lives. This is a very personal account on finding how to deal with issues of gender, social norms, etc. It's the first book I would recomend to someone with a trans/gender queer/ cross dressing spouse. I also recomend that the trans person read this book.
Anonymous 9 months ago
dancingwaves on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I really liked this book; I enjoyed Boyd's honesty in her compassion for her husband and the struggles of Betty's decision on whether or not to fully transition MTF. Not only is it clear she is in love with her partner, but that there is compassion in the question of whether or not she's going to be able to say. As a non-trans partner, I really appreciated the moments of "I know exactly what you're talking about" that I haven't been able to have with other literature.
missmara on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A really interesting narrative about how we navigate gender in different parts of our lives: how we are perceived by others, how we perceive our own gender and sexual orientation, how gender does/doesn't affect our relationships, and how love (hopefully) conquers all.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago