Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story

Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story

by Jacob Tobia


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A heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above.

"Candid, unapologetic . . . a valuable dispatch from a new generation of queer activists and artists." --Washington Post

"A transfeminine Nora Ephron . . . detailing the story of their 'coming-of-gender' in a way that is both honest and didactic." --OUT Magazine

From the moment a doctor in Raleigh, North Carolina, put "male" on Jacob Tobia's birth certificate, everything went wrong. Alongside "male" came many other, far less neutral words: words that carried expectations about who Jacob was and who Jacob should be. Naturally sensitive, playful, creative, and glitter-obsessed, as a child Jacob was soon labelled a "sissy."

In the two decades that followed, "sissy" joined forces with "gay," "trans," "nonbinary," and "too-queer-to-function" to become a source of pride and, today, a rallying cry for a much-needed gender revolution. Through revisiting their childhood and calling out the stereotypes that each of us have faced, Jacob invites us to rethink what we know about gender and offers a bold blueprint for a healed world. Writing with the fierce honesty, wildly irreverent humor, and wrenching vulnerability that have made them a media sensation, Jacob shatters the long-held notion that people are easily sortable into "men" and "women." Sissy guarantees that you'll never think about gender--both other people's people's and your own--the same way again.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780735218826
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 03/05/2019
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 44,348
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.40(d)

About the Author

Jacob Tobia (@JacobTobia) is a gender nonconforming writer, producer, and performer based in Los Angeles. A member of both the Forbes "30 Under 30" and the "OUT 100," Jacob's writing and advocacy have been featured by MSNBC, The New York Times, TIME, The Guardian, and Teen Vogue, among others. A Point Foundation Scholar, Truman Scholar, and member of the Biden Foundation's Advisory Council for Advancing LGBTQ Equality, Jacob has worn high heels in the White House twice.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

A Quick Manifesto 11

Part I Kiddo

Chapter 1 The Girls Next Door 23

Chapter 2 Nerds and Wizards and Jesus, Oh My! 50

Chapter 3 Inharmonious Hormones 66

Part II Teenage Dreams

Chapter 4 A Very Dramatic (First) Coming Out 101

Chapter 5 In My Own Two Shoes, On My Own Two Feet 134

Part III Big Queen on Campus

Chapter 6 A Gothic Wonderland, a Major Letdown 177

Chapter 7 Beloved Token 213

Chapter 8 Sissy, Femme, Queer, and Proud 252

Chapter 9 Dear Mom and Dad 300

Epilogue Notes to Self 307

Acknowledgments 317

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