So Gay for You: Friendship, Found Family, and the Show That Started It All

by Kate Moennig, Leisha Hailey

Overview

Notes From Your Bookseller

A magnetic read that celebrates the friendship of Moennig and Hailey, and friendship in general. With personal anecdotes, hilarious insights and quippy commentary, it's layered with laughter.

An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word—including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives.

"Are you comfortable with nudity?" my manager asked.

In the early 2000s, Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey—both young artists trying to figure it all out—met at auditions for an unknown little TV show. Given that it was a show about lesbians living in Los Angeles, with the first ever ensemble cast of openly queer female characters, Kate and Leisha knew the project was going to be unlike anything else out there—that is, if it even got picked up.

Then, one million people watched the premiere. The show, which came to be called The L Word, turned into a trailblazing phenomenon. Its influence on pop culture, in the political arena, and in the lives of viewers has been lasting, impactful, even life-saving. And in addition to changing the course of television history, The L Word changed Kate and Leisha's lives forever. Suddenly, they were the faces of lesbian culture in a society still hostile to queerness. And one of them wasn't even out yet.

Luckily, they had each other. From their first day on set, Kate and Leisha were so inseparable that the cast joked they were like a pair of pants—you couldn't have one leg without the other. Hence the name for their branded partnership and podcast, PANTS, launched in 2020 and downloaded over twenty million times.

This friendship has seen Kate and Leisha through their greatest triumphs and most painful moments, stumbling from closeted queer kids to LGBTQ+ activists, actors, podcasters, and business owners. Full of never-before-shared glimpses into the making of The L Word, Kate and Leisha's real-life loves and losses, and their experiences as queer icons, So Gay for You is a heartfelt, inspiring love letter to a ride or die friendship over the decades, and a testament to the liberating power of chosen family.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250361363
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	06/03/2025
Pages:	272
Product dimensions:	6.50(w) x 9.40(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

LEISHA HAILEY is an actor, director, executive producer, musician, and podcaster. Hailey is best known for her beloved breakout character Alice Pieszecki in the revolutionary Showtime series The L Word and the reboot, The L Word: Generation Q. Before making her mark on-screen, Hailey cofounded the band The Murmurs in the 1990s, recording three albums for MCA/Universal Records and touring worldwide, including with Lilith Fair. More than a decade later, in 2007, Hailey cofounded the indie pop band Uh Huh Her, which toured internationally and sold albums worldwide.

KATE MOENNIG is a critically acclaimed actor and executive producer whose work spans film, television, and theater. She is most known for her iconic role as Shane McCutcheon in the Showtime series The L Word and the reboot, The L Word: Generation Q. Moennig has also starred in Showtime’s hit series Ray Donovan, Freeform’s Grown-ish, and Liz Feldman’s series No Good Deed. Moennig’s film credits include The Lincoln Lawyer, Lane 1974, and Terry Zwigoff’s Art School Confidential.

Editorial Reviews

"A resonant and uplifting dual portrait of queer entertainment media in action." —Kirkus Reviews

"[Moennig and Hailey] mix humor, pain, love, and loss throughout this vulnerable and thoughtful memoir.... Moennig and Hailey’s openness about their personal and professional lives makes this book more than just a look into a TV series." —Library Journal, starred review

"So Gay for You is more than a memoir; it's a comprehensive almanac of Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey. Take it from a die-hard fan, and friend, this intimate exploration of their lives blends candid anecdotes with reflections on their youth, queer identity, the impact of The L Word, and perhaps most importantly, their two decades of friendship. Must-read queer lit and a testament to the enduring legacy of The L Word and the culture-changing stars at its heart." —Tegan Quin, bestselling author of High School

"So Gay for You is a beautiful story of two besties who also played besties on the ground breaking series The L Word. Read this book, you will love it as I did." —Rosie O'Donnell

"As magnetic and authentic as Kate and Leisha themselves, So Gay for You feels like catching up with an old friend. Hilarious, candid, and full of heart, this memoir perfectly captures the ups and downs of the 2000s and beyond, and the life-changing power of true, lasting found family." —Gwyneth Paltrow

"This book solidifies Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey's significant influence on television and queer culture. Not only are they trailblazers who opened doors for lesbians globally, their portrayals made being a lesbian sexy and aspirational. The creation of this book in itself is a groundbreaking achievement and nothing short of a masterpiece." —Julia Fox, New York Times bestselling author of Down the Drain

"Perfectly captures the joy we all experienced making a television show that became more than a television show and exemplifies why Kate and Leisha are at once beloved and iconic. Their voices are distinct—at different moments funny, honest, heartbreaking, reassuring, and, most of all, essential. The world needed this book. I needed this book." —Ilene Chaiken, co-creator, writer, and producer of The L Word

"Kate and Leisha have written a beautiful memoir that is in turns humorous and poignant and sometimes both simultaneously. What a genuine pleasure it was to step onto memory lane and to see the view from their eyes. Just when I thought I knew everything about their legendary friendship, along comes this perceptive memoir that made me laugh out loud and cry in the same sitting, unveiling things I never knew, making their friendship that much more magical." —Jennifer Beals

"We are SO GAY for this book! So Gay For You is a heartfelt, funny, and inspiring look at the beauty of friendship and community and the importance of self acceptance. Leisha and Kate are each trailblazers in their own right and we thank the gay gods their blazed trails crossed." —Stephanie Allynne and Tig Notaro

"Such a fun read. It’s like hanging out with your two best friends who also happen to be hilarious, insightful, full on lesbian icons." —Liz Feldman

"Everything you've hoped this book would be, it is: every delicious The L Word detail, the 'how we met' friendship meet cute, and above all, the celebration of two deeply funny, deeply cool best friends." —Lane Moore, award-winning author of You Will Find Your People

From the Publisher

★ 05/01/2025

As the first television series to feature an ensemble cast of openly queer women characters and the first series to be written and primarily directed by queer women, The L-Word's impact on television and popular culture is groundbreaking. In their cowritten memoir, cast members and best friends Moennig and Hailey share their experiences as young artists trying to find their way in the industry. The two seamlessly weave their stories together and show the strength of their friendship. Not only is their memoir an insider's view into the making of The L-Word, which ran from 2004 to 2009, but it's also the story of being young and queer in the 1980s and '90s. The two openly share about growing up, finding their way to New York City, and first meeting when they auditioned against one another. They mix humor, pain, love, and loss throughout this vulnerable and thoughtful memoir. With so few memoirs by queer women who came of age during the AIDS epidemic, Moennig and Hailey's openness about their personal and professional lives makes this book more than just a look into a TV series. VERDICT Well-written and accessible, this book will appeal to fans of The L-Word, memoir readers, and those interested in queer history.—Rebekah J. Buchanan

Library Journal