Table of Contents
Foreword Kenneth J. Doka, PhD xvii
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 The Growing GRG Trend 5
How Did You Get Here? 5
The Commitment to Care for Your Grandchild 6
Reasons for the Trend 9
A Daunting Role 12
Guilt, a Monster in the Room 15
Family Ethnicity and Culture 17
What Works 20
Chapter 2 Grandparents Make Sacrifices 21
Loss of Peace and Quiet 23
Lower Income and Poverty 24
Marriage Problems 27
Loneliness, Isolation, and Depression 31
Health Changes and Challenges 35
Compare Losses and Gains 37
What Works 39
Chapter 3 Why You Are Grieving 41
Shadows of Grief 42
Types of Grief 44
Anticipatory Grief 45
Post-Death Grief 48
Helen's Values 49
Grief Support System Checklist 51
How Kids Express Their Grief 52
The Happiness Choice 57
What Works 59
Chapter 4 Creating a Grandfamily 61
Begin with the Basics 62
Hodgson-Welby Household Rules 64
Identify Responsibilities and Tasks 66
Legal Matters 68
Have Fun and Tell Stories 69
Plan Parent Visits 74
What Works 76
Grandfamily Photo Album 77
Chapter 5 Communicating with Grandkids 83
Your Voice 84
Keep Sentences Short 86
Be an Active Listener 89
Use Three-Part Assertions 92
Behavior + Feelings + Affects = Assertion 92
Reading Aloud and Communication 93
What Works 95
Chapter 6 Grandkids and Learning 97
School Connections 98
Barriers You May Encounter 100
Infants and Preschoolers 102
Helping with Homework 103
Parent Conferences: Should You Go? 106
Grandparents as Life Teachers 108
How to Be a Good Role Model 109
What Works 111
Chapter 7 Stress and Its Impact 113
Pain of a Child in Pain 114
Behavior Problems 117
Healing Power of Art 119
Outside Interference 121
Health Care and Stress 123
Stress of Raising Grandkids 125
What Works 127
Chapter 8 Boosting Children's Goals and Dreams 129
Goal-Setting Steps 130
Free Time and Fun 133
How to Give Constructive Criticism 136
Making Progress 137
Who Am I Now? 139
Time to Celebrate! 140
What Works 144
Conclusion 145
Appendixes
A Some Helpful Websites 147
B A GRG's Bill of Rights, by Harriet Hodgson 149
C 10 Tips for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren 151
D Words to Know 153
Bibliography 157
About the Author 169
Index 171
