Someone Died - Now What?: A Personal and Professional Perspective on Coping with Grief and Loss

Someone Died - Now What?: A Personal and Professional Perspective on Coping with Grief and Loss

by Corrie Sirota MSW

Paperback

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781505302486
Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
Publication date: 05/11/2015
Pages: 138
Sales rank: 803,021
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.32(d)

About the Author

Corrie Sirota holds a Master of Social Work as well as a Graduate Certificate in Loss and Bereavement from McGill University (Montreal, Canada) where she has been a sessional lecturer in the School of Social Work for over twenty years. As a licensed psychotherapist, she maintains a private practice, specializing in loss and bereavement as well as non-death losses. Corrie is the clinical supervisor for the After Care Department of Paperman and Sons Funeral Home (Montreal, Canada) and a consultant for Chai Life Line (Montreal, Canada). She currently facilitates bereavement groups for widows, young adults, perinatal loss, and postpartum support.
As an expert in her field, Corrie presents regularly at conferences and workshops both locally and internationally, and often appears on radio and television news programs. She wrote "Helping Children Cope with Death" which appeared in the Jewish Funeral Directors Association magazine as well as in Living Legacies Volume III, 2011 and has authored numerous other articles and blog posts for ME Magazine, Cappino Physio and Wellness Centre, and Risk within Reason.
Corrie currently lives in Montreal with her husband and their two children.
Should you wish to contact Corrie to book a workshop or consultation, please visit her website: www.corriesirota.com.

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Someone Died - Now What?: A Personal and Professional Perspective on Coping with Grief and Loss 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
JBronder More than 1 year ago
We all go through different events that shape our lives but I believe that death seems to be the hardest. As the mourner you have so many things going on that it’s hard to figure out what is going on, how to deal with the loss, and what to do from that point. On the other side you can see that someone is going through pain and you want to comfort them but this can be hard when it can be so easy to say the wrong thing and even losing patience with the person for their continued suffering. When I was 33, I lost my father, who had been ill for many years and was expected to pass 10 + years ago. Although I knew it was coming it was still a shock when he passed. I admit that a couple years later and I am still wracked with guilt at not visiting with him more. I lost my mother, who had been sick for years a year after my father. Her passing was easier but I still find myself tearing up when I really think about the fact that she is no longer around to ask advice from or just to hear how her cats are doing. The hardest part for me was to try and work through the loss. My family has always had that mentality. That no one really cares or can help so suck it up and keep going. I admit that I did break down and cry, which for me is something very rare. But I found it more frustrating how everyone was trying to treat me with kid gloves. But even when I act like things have moved on, when I was offered Someone Died…Now What? I admit that my sadness comes creeping back and I couldn’t help but take a look inside. This book has information on anything that you could think of relating to death. If you are the person that lost someone or if you are a friend or family member of someone that lost someone this book is for you. There is information on the different steps of grieving and mourning. There is a list of things to say and not say. This book has everything and more that you could think of relating to death. There are a couple sections that really stood out for me. The little section of guilt really hit home. When I lost my father I realized how I never really made the time to talk to him. When I did call home, which was rarely, I mainly talked to my mom. When he died I felt so guilty about my bad behavior and how I was really a bad daughter. The section on guilt was a lightbulb going off for me. I still feel bad but now I’m coming to terms with it. I really like the section about someone else facing death. Because I grew up where you bottle up your emotions and get on with life, sadly I admit that I have a hard time when someone else has lost someone. Someone Died…Now What? has really helped me to understand how my reactions are the last thing someone needs. It has really helped me to be more compassionate and have more helpful things to say to them. This is a great book for anyone dealing with loss. Although it is small, there is a lot of information for everyone. If you are going through it or have someone that is experiencing a loss this is one book that you need to pick up. It will change your life, it definitely helped me. I received Someone Died…Now What? for free from iRead Book Tours in exchange for an honest review.
VickiLN More than 1 year ago
This is a very good book for anyone who has lost someone. The grieving process is different for everyone and there are plenty of myths about it. One of the myths that I learned to be true was “A sudden death is worse than a death resulting from a long term illness. My mother died from cancer and even though we all thought we were prepared for it, we weren’t. It was as devastating as if she had died instantly with no warning. In the beginning of the book is a chapter about the stupid things people say to you when you lose a loved one. Thankfully, no one said anything to me when my husband passed away, that I felt was stupid or hit me the wrong way. The bulk of my support came from my 3 children and 4 grandchildren. They were grieving along with me. I don’t know how I’d have survived without their support. The rest of my support came from my friends and book blogging friends. So many kind words and prayers and I can’t thank you all enough. The book lists the stages of greif as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Grief, Acceptance. I felt all of those things, but the grief was present from even before my husband Henry passed away, because I knew it was coming. The thought of losing the love of my life was overwhelming. For me, other than the grief, depression was the biggest stage for me. I went, and still do from time to time, through periods of depression. I was Henry’s sole caregiver for almost 30 years and for most of those years I didn’t work outside the house and we were together pretty much 24/7. Not having him with me to talk to, not hearing him sing etc. is something I’ll probably always have trouble dealing with. The book also talks about how so many things can trigger sadness. That is definitely true. So many things remind me of Henry, and now of my dog Patches who I lost on Sept. 28th. She was my baby and I miss her so much. Another thing I found that related to me was that people second guessing themselves. “I should have, if only I’d, and I could have”. I’ve said them all many times. The book lists some ways to move forward: Ask for help or let people help Allow yourself to grieve Seek information Avoid making hasty decisions Take care of yourself physically Remember good nutrition is important Keep a journal read join a book club make daily affirmations get involved in social and leisure activities volunteer plan things to look forward to do something for someone else hold onto hope put balance back into your life: pray, rest, work and play laugh join a grief support group go to church try saying yes more often One of the most profound statements in the book for me was when the author wrote of a woman named Sari, a woman who had lost her husband, who said “It’s like a land mine. You are concentrating on something and all of a sudden, BOOM, it hits you. Hard. And you didn’t even see it coming.” That has happened to me so many times. And it’s like a fresh cut each time. The last few chapters are Creating New “Normals”, The Importance Of Laughter, The Importance of Laughter-Really, and Gone But Not Forgotten. I am starting to laugh more and am getting ready to make some changes to my life that will set me on the path to a new normal. But yes, although Henry is gone, he will never be forgotten. He was and will always be a huge part of me. This is a short book, only 138 pages, but it is packed full of so much more than what I’ve mentioned. I will be reading this book from time to time because of the comfort I felt while reading it
VicG More than 1 year ago
Corrie Sirota in her new book, “Someone Died…Now What?” published by Createspace gives us A Personal and Professional Perspective on Coping with Grief and Loss. From the back cover: Someone Died… Now What? is a GPS for grieving. This book provides Guidance, Perspective and Support to help you navigate your way through the grief process. Whether someone you love has died or someone you know is struggling with a loss, this book addresses many of the issues and questions that surface, providing concrete assistance on what to do immediately following a death, how to deal with feelings of sadness, anger and guilt, non-death losses and how to support grieving children. You will learn that grief is an ongoing process, and is as unique and individual as you are. Ms. Sirota tells us “Grief is a process, not an event”. Once we have experienced the death of someone there is no going back as much as we would desperately want to. We need to find our way forward. Ms. Sirota explains, “It’s not about forgetting your loved one and moving on; it’s about taking the experience of loss, the memory of the loved one and finding a space for that grief while creating new normals”. Within these pages you will find the tools we need not only to help us through the mourning process but to help us understand and better manage our grief. Here is someone who understands the situation and is there with an open arm around our shoulder. I think this book is an invaluable tool and should be on everyone’s bookshelf. At some point we are all going to need it. The information provided within these pages is priceless and this book would make a great gift to give to friends and family to help them in their time of need. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from IRead Book Tours. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
LauraFabiani More than 1 year ago
Death is a difficult subject. Period. But it's nonetheless a subject, or a reality we all will experience in some ways and at different points in our lives. Corrie Sirota, a psychotherapist who specializes in loss and bereavement, has written a much-needed resource book that will help one cope with losing a loved one. Because she writes both from a personal and professional perspective, one immediately feels understood and comforted through her sensitivity and knowledge. Even if you are distraught and cannot focus or concentrate because you are grieving, this book is easy to read not because it is simplistic but because it feels like Sirota, who has dealt with hundreds of grieving families in all situations, is right there beside you, helping you along. Besides explaining the grieving process, Sirota provides a list of documents one needs following the death of a family member and all the legal things needed to be done. How practical! She discusses how to help someone in mourning, the secondary losses, and creating new normals. One of my favorite chapters was about the forgotten grievers--the children. Such important information about how we can help our little ones deal with death. After all, this will set a precedence to how they will cope as adults too. The range of emotions that are felt when grieving can sometimes make us feel guilty, inadequate and helpless but Sirota skilfully tackles how to handle these emotions. She includes helpful anecdotes of situations she's encountered in her practice that are powerful because we can easily see ourselves in them or acknowledge having had the very same feelings. In addition, the information is also presented in bullet form and in list form, making it so much easier on the tired eye to quickly read and find information. The layout of the book is also pleasing. It's not a book that needs to be read in order. At a little over 100 pages, this book is not overwhelming but instead beckons one to flip through its pages where inevitably one will find a useful passage because every word in this book is meant to assist. My background in Counselling and Social Services helped me to recognize the value of this book, but the loss of a dear friend to cancer only last month made me appreciate the practical and insightful advice from someone who understands the emotions I experienced. Every death is unique because every relationship is unique. I was deeply touched by some of the quotes interspersed throughout the text. Best of all this book is useful no matter what your religious background is. Sirota is non-judgemental and focuses on helping you go through the grieving process rather than establishing what the meaning of death is. I strongly recommend having a copy of this book because it will make a difference when you need it the most. It's also the perfect gift for anyone in your life who is grieving. It's the kind of gift that will be appreciated even years after it was given, until "death is swallowed up forever". -Isaiah 25:8
corinnerodrigues78 More than 1 year ago
If you’ve just lost a loved one or are still grieving, Corrie’s statement that ‘grief is a process, not an event’ holds good for you. The book helps you understand the grieving process and your own responses to the death of a loved one. I appreciate that the author included an entire chapter on the ‘forgotten mourners’ – children. I also found the chapter on ‘secondary losses’ very interesting. When we lose someone, we also lose a role – an integral part of ourselves. For example, a wife ceases to be a wife when she loses a husband, and the loss of a sibling is a loss of your role as a brother or a sister. Also, often such losses bring accompanying financial loss, which make the situation even harder. The book guides readers in the direction of finding their ‘new normals’, as the author calls them. The book also deals with ‘non-death’ losses and how we process them. It also offers good advice on how we can comfort mourners. This is a fantastic resource book for us all. Because we’ve all suffered loss at sometime or the other. Read more here: http://everydaygyaan.com/how-to-comfort-someone-who-is-grieving/