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Songs in the Key of Solomon: In the Word and In the Mood

Songs in the Key of Solomon: In the Word and In the Mood

4.3 3
by Anita Renfroe, John Renfroe

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Ladies, are you tired of trying to engage your man in something he is reluctant to do? Let’s face it: husbands are not normally seen running to bookstores to buy a couple’s devotional.

And guys, are you tired of feeling like the term “devotional” is code for “boring? You may be thinking, Please, not one more thing to check


Ladies, are you tired of trying to engage your man in something he is reluctant to do? Let’s face it: husbands are not normally seen running to bookstores to buy a couple’s devotional.

And guys, are you tired of feeling like the term “devotional” is code for “boring? You may be thinking, Please, not one more thing to check off my daily to-do list. Plus, you and your wife have different views on what intimacy is all about, right?

If either of you is wondering if you’re living more with your “roommate” than your “soulmate,” then this devotional can help you meet on common ground and discover each other in new ways. You won’t even need an alarm clock to wake you when your “devotional time” is finished.

Filled with insights from a real couple on real issues, Songs in the Key of Solomon will get you and your spouse laughing, thinking, sharing, touching, and praying – possibly all during the same reading. Each offering in this devotional is designed to spark connections around issues that matter, so you’ll deepen your emotional, spiritual, and physical unity and ignite new levels of intimacy. (One devotional involves a bathtub and some candles...try not to get stuck on that one page over and over again.)

Here is an invitation to hear the music in your marriage – maybe for the first time…or maybe once again.

Product Details

David C Cook
Publication date:
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Barnes & Noble
File size:
5 MB

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songs in the key of solomon

In the Word ... ... and In the Mood

By John Renfroe, Anita Renfroe

David C. Cook

Copyright © 2007 John and Anita Renfroe
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4347-6667-0


Naked and Unashamed


Wash some plump, juicy grapes in a colander and bring them bathtub-side. Run a nice bubble bath, light some candles, and set them around the edge of the tub. After you've climbed in together, read on.

listen to the music

The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they
will become one flesh.
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Gen. 2:23–25 NIV)

what we hear

What would it be like to be the only man and woman alive on the earth? With no one else to compare ourselves to? No rock-hard, airbrushed bodies staring back at us from the magazines. No expectations, no guilt, no shame. What would it feel like to have our lover touch us and not be self-conscious about our pudge or cellulite? What would it be like to be naked and unashamed?

According to a 2006 Body Image Poll conducted by Fitness magazine, nearly 20 percent of the women respondents admitted that they have avoided sex at one time or another because they felt uncomfortable with how their bodies looked. (The other 80 percent probably weren't being honest!) The way life is now is most definitely not the way God designed it to be. He was the originator of the First Nudist Colony, and it was a good thing. In Eden we're given a glimpse of a man and woman with not a molecule of shame between them. Unfortunately we humans have a big problem with being attracted to the one thing we're told to avoid, and one bite into forbidden fruit commenced our dance with shame.

But shame is more than skin deep. It can be the result of a lifetime of encounters that have made us feel "less than," inferior, and dirty. These feelings can have absolutely nothing to do with our mate, but our mate picks up the tab for our shame and lack of freedom. Sometimes our nakedness has nothing to do with our state of undress; it may be purely emotional. But often it's when we're most vulnerable that shame can melt away in the embrace of the one whom we feel is most trustworthy. Older couples tell us that failing eyesight and falling body parts coincide, so that should make us all a little more comfortable in our own skin.

what do you hear?

What do the words "one flesh" mean to you?

In the three areas of intimacy (physical, emotional, spiritual), which has you wearing the bigger fig leaf (what you're trying to cover up)? Why?

Fill in the blank: "This year I want to become more free about _____________."

extended play

While you're on the journey to becoming naked and unashamed, it might help to consider candles. (Everybody looks better in candlelight, right?) Face your lover with a confident smile (preferably wearing only a smile) and offer lots of reassuring words. (That goes for both of you!) Vow to do everything you can to make your relationship your own personal Eden—a No Shame Zone.


Sniff This


Share a cup of a hot, steamy beverage. (That's one cup, for two.)

listen to the music

While the king was at his table,
my perfume spread its fragrance.
My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.
My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
from the vineyards of En Gedi. (Song 1:12–14 NIV)

what we hear

They say that olfactory memory is the most sensate—meaning a smell can immediately put you back in a certain place or time. If you smell newly sharpened pencils and Elmer's glue, you will be instantly transported to the first day of first grade. The smell of roast and potatoes in the oven can take you back to Sunday dinner at your grandma's house. The smell of cotton candy can put you right back at the 1976 state fair. Bottom line: The nose knows. In the time of Solomon, perfumes and oils were personal signature scents. But you've probably noticed that a perfume or cologne can mix with a person's chemistry so that it smells completely different from one person to another. We all have our own essence, and even newborns can distinguish between their own mother's smell (eau de Mama) and that of a stranger. Widows and widowers will almost universally refer to missing their mate's smell—and they will sleep with articles of clothing that retain that special aroma or will be overcome with grief when they catch a whiff of someone wearing their spouse's brand of cologne or perfume. We have today to breathe each other in, literally. It's a privilege of intimacy to nuzzle up and appreciate the unique aroma of each other.

what do you hear?

If both of you were blindfolded, and neither of you was allowed to wear a fragrance, do you think you could identify each other by scent alone?

What scent makes you think only of your lover?

To what scent would you compare your spouse?

extended play

Do you have a special scent for your bedroom (e.g., candle, incense, cinnamon potpourri)? Maybe now is the time to choose a singular scent that becomes your signature bedroom aroma.


Can't Buy Me Love


Plunk yourselves down in front of a page of the classified ads. See who can find the most bizarre item for sale.

listen to the music

Hang my locket around your neck,
wear my ring on your finger.
Love is invincible facing danger and death.
Passion laughs at the terrors of hell.
The fire of love stops at nothing—
it sweeps everything before it.
Flood waters can't drown love,
torrents of rain can't put it out.
Love can't be bought, love can't be sold—
it's not to be found in the marketplace. (Song 8:6–7)

what we hear

Russell Conwell's speech "Acres of Diamonds" tells of a young man who went in search of his fortune only to die in the pursuit and have someone else discover that the diamonds were in his backyard all along. The story strikes us as doubly tragic because he had wasted all that energy and time and traded his life trying to find something that was, literally, in his possession to begin with.

We live in a time when some couples casually marry and then just as readily abandon commitments and vows as they strike out to find their "true soul mate," only to discover that the relationship they're looking for is the one they just threw away. The Scripture from Song of Solomon invokes the power and passion of a single-minded, single-hearted love that's determined to survive the inevitable storms of life. This kind of love can't be bought or sold because it's priceless. This passion can't be found elsewhere in the marketplace of life—not in the classified ads, not on QVC ("only six easy installments!"). If you find yourself wondering whether another person could fulfill your needs more completely than your spouse, it's likely you're inaccurately appraising the unique and priceless relationship you already have. Anyone can find a handy slicer-dicer on an infomercial, but a committed, passionate love can't be bought or sold. It's something all the world longs for yet can't seem to find. But it's something we can possess with our spouses if we truly seek it and nurture it.

what do you hear?

What symbols of love do you wear on a regular basis (such as a wedding band, a locket, or a tattoo)?

If money were no object, what would you give your spouse as a symbol of your never-ending love?

If your house were on fire, your loved ones were safe from harm, and you only had time to grab one memento of your love, what would it be? Why?

extended play

Your love is one of a kind, so express it by giving each other specific personal items that are unique to your love story. That way you can keep a symbol of your priceless love within your view daily.


Christmas Every Day


Find two self-adhesive gift-wrap bows and attach one to each other. (You decide where to affix them.) Wear them for at least the next ten minutes.

listen to the music

But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; then sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:14–17 NIV)

what we hear

Bill Murray starred in a movie called Groundhog Day, which is about a guy who gets stuck in the same day over and over again. He figures out after awhile that he'll never escape the cycle until he loses his narcissistic ways and learns to recognize the little things that make life worth living.

Let's face it: There are certain elements of existence that can make our day-to-day lives together less than stimulating. Without ever intending to, we can get caught up in our own personal "groundhog days," where it feels like we're just living the same day over and over—no surprises—and it all seems a little too familiar. In our mates we've certainly been given a good gift, but like any gift, when the newness wears off, we can take our relationship for granted. We would readily admit that neither of us is a "perfect" gift, but we can be good and perfect for each other. We've all seen those couples who still live together but barely acknowledge one another, much less appreciate each other. There's a lot to be said about the comfort and familiarity of marriage as long as it doesn't turn into laziness and apathy.

Remember the Journey song "Faithfully" where Steve Perry sings "I get the joy of rediscovering you"? It's easy to think that you have nothing new to discover about your love, but we all change from week to week and year to year. If we let the Groundhog Day syndrome bury us in the more tedious, repetitive tasks of life, we can lose our appreciation for each other. Unwrap and enjoy your gift every day.

what do you hear?

Imagine you're opening each other like a present. Describe what attributes of the gift you're most excited about.

When you were younger and dreaming of the gift God would bring you in a mate, what did you dream about?

In what way(s) does your spouse surpass your dreams and expectations?

extended play

Give God thanks for the "good and perfect gift" of your spouse—then open your present!


Tied Up in Knots


Get knotted up—seriously intertwined. Arms and fingers and legs and ankles. Then read on.

listen to the music

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. (Eccl. 4:9–12 NASB)

what we hear

If you ask most singles what they long for when they think of being in a relationship, they'll most likely respond, "Someone to share life with." An old adage says, "With two, joys are doubled, and sorrows are halved." Yes, it's sappy, but it's also true. Most everything is better when you have someone to share it with. When we're apart, we'll even call each other to discuss what we're looking at, just because we wish the other person was there to share it ("The wind is blowing the snow around, and it looks like a snow globe" or "I wish you could see this sunset"). We love that we have different strengths and weaknesses and that, between us, there's a pretty good balance all around. This isn't to say that our differences don't become annoying (do not stop at this point and discuss your list of grievances with your spouse!), it's just that over the course of time, we keep each other somewhat on track. This would be a great dynamic alone, but the wisdom from Ecclesiastes tells us that people who are married and have a personal faith have a stronger strand in their relationship—a third strand that has no weaknesses and makes the couple exponentially stronger than it would be separately or together: God. His strength is our strength, our joys are greater because of his blessing, and our sorrows are diminished because we can place our cares on his strong shoulders. His love makes our love invincible.

what do you hear?

What strengths do you think your spouse brings to the marriage?

Has there been a time in your marriage when, except for the strength of the third strand, you wouldn't have hung in there?

Describe a specific time in the last month when your mate was there for you and made you feel stronger.

extended play

Pray with each other and thank God for some specific strengths you're grateful for in your mate. Also, thank God for the times he's kept you together.


With Ownership Comes Privilege


Come together anywhere there is running water—near a garden hose, near a waterfall, or in the shower ...

listen to the music

Do you know the saying, "Drink from your own rain barrel,
draw water from your own spring-fed well"?
It's true. Otherwise, you may one day come home
and find your barrel empty and your well polluted.
Your spring water is for you and you only,
not to be passed around among strangers.
Bless your fresh-flowing fountain!
Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—
don't ever quit taking delight in her body.
Never take her love for granted!
Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore?
for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?
Mark well that God doesn't miss a move you make;
he's aware of every step you take. (Prov. 5:15–21)
I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.
I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey;
I have drunk my wine and my milk. (Song 5:1a NIV)

what we hear

Solomon certainly seemed to enjoy that word my. It was all his, and he was happy to say so.

We were privileged to take a trip of a lifetime last year. We went to Italy for a couple of weeks to celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. It was a beautiful time spent in a beautiful country. When we were in Rome, we noticed the strangest thing: People didn't throw away their empty water bottles but would carry them around. We thought this was very odd until we figured out what they were doing. They were refilling them from the various free- flowing fountains that were built centuries ago and are still providing pristine water everywhere in Rome. The water supply to these fountains is clean and pure and in constant supply. That was a revelation to us, since in the United States we can't get clean-tasting water out of pipes that are only ten years old.

Our twenty-five-year mark isn't that amazing compared to some other couples, but we can't believe it's been this long. Our love is sweeter than ever, and it only continues to get better. With ownership comes privilege—to love one person and to commit your life to creating memories with him or her.

The writer of Proverbs tells us, "Never take her love for granted," because with the passing years may also come the temptation to believe that you'll always have each other. This leads to stagnant water, and you know what that breeds—insect larvae and pond scum! It's the closed nature of married love that makes it so sacred, and the moving, free-flowing nature of this relationship that keeps us refreshed through the years.

what do you hear?

What are some things in your relationship that have only improved with age?

What are a couple of areas where you might take each other for granted?

What are some safeguards you can build into your marriage to protect your "spring-fed well"?

extended play

When referring to each other in public, try attaching the possessive "my" in front of your love's name. Revel in your ownership.


Excerpted from songs in the key of solomon by John Renfroe, Anita Renfroe. Copyright © 2007 John and Anita Renfroe. Excerpted by permission of David C. Cook.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Comedienne Anita Renfroe has the spiritual gift of saying what most women think but are afraid to say out loud. With a potent mix of sass, edge and humor, her quirky take on life entertains and inspires thousands of women (and a few secure males) each year.

John holds a degree in Religious Education at Mississippi College, and graduated from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary with a Masters in Religious Education. He currently partners with Anita in “estrogen evangelism,” as they seek to laugh people into the Kingdom.

Anita and John make their home in suburban Atlanta with their semi-grown children, Calvin, Austin, and Elyse.

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Songs in the Key of Solomon: In the Word and in the Mood 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Not-so-newlywed More than 1 year ago
I bought this soon after getting married and it was incredible to start off our marriage in such a fun way. Many of the devotions are activities, such as dance to some music, and then ends with a discussion. We wrote down our answers in the book (only downside- no room to write) so that we could review them later. It's fun to do the devotions again, during a different season of our marriage and see our answers and what they've become. It's also nice and short since most of us are short on time! Covers a wide variety of marriage topics and potential issues,from in-laws to money,all with a Biblical perspective. Now I give it as a wedding gift or anniversary gift to my friends and family.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I got this as a gift for my husband at a Woman of Faith event and it's just so much fun and so intimate. The first devotional involves taking a bath.....together! It's a great bridal shower gift too but every old and new married couple should have this and remember God is the author and creator of sex and intimacy and its SUPPOSED TO BE amazing!!!