Spanish for Xenophobes is a humorous approach to Spanish that shows you can speak the language simply by using Plain English. Invaluable phrases will spill off your tongue, including such gems as: “Do you have a garlic-free zone?,” “Your donkey is standing on my foot,” and “It's going to take how long?”
Fun in the sun
Anyone attempting to understand the Spanish must first of all recognize the fact that they do not consider anything important except total enjoyment. If it is not enjoyable it will be ignored.
You can't buy happiness
The happiness of the individual is considered to be much more important than money. The goat herder who strolls the countryside with his animals breathing in the fresh air and loving his problem-less life is much more admired than the wealthy industrialist who hasn't time to enjoy life and spends quite a lot of his earnings on medicines to calm his peptic ulcers.
In Spain lust is ever in the air. There is nothing about the Spanish appreciation of sex that is inhibited or restrained. It is accepted that both men and women love making love, which is why there are very few sexual crimes in the country.
Everything in triplicateIt is impossible to reside in Spain without spending part of your life applying to an authority for some sort of permit, either to be allowed to go on existing once you are born, to be allowed to stay if you have come from abroad, to be allowed to start a
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Spanish for Xenophobes
By Launay, Drew
Oval BooksCopyright © 2004 Launay, Drew
All right reserved.
(Low / see en toe.)
What remedy would you recommend for:?
Puede usted darme algo contra:?
(Poo ed eh / ooze ted / dar meh / algo / contra:?
Picaduras de mosquito.
(Peek ah doo rass / de / moss key toe.)
Quemadura de sol fuerte.
(Keh ma doo rah / deh / sol / foo air teh.)
(Eh more oi dess.)
I have been waiting a long time for my food.
Hace mucho que espero la comida.
(Ass eh / moo cho / keh / ess peh roe / la / co mee da.)
Are the things in brown sauce meat balls?
Eso en la salsa marrón son albóndigas?
(Esso / en / la / salsa / ma ron / son / al bond ee gas?)
I would like a seat on the shady side of the bullring.
Quiero una entrada a la sombra.
(Key ero / oon ah / en trah dah / ah / la / som bra.)
I don't think the straw donkey will fit in my suitcase.
No creo que el burro de paja quepa en mi maleta.
(No / creh oh / keh / ell / boo roe / deh / pa hah / kay pa / en / mee / mal letter.)
Excerpted from Spanish for Xenophobes by Launay, Drew Copyright © 2004 by Launay, Drew. Excerpted by permission.
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Table of Contents
|A Bit of Important Grammar||8|
|Essential Words to Remember||9|
|Less Essential But Jolly Useful Words and Phrases||10|
|Days of the Week, etc.||13|
|At the Chemist||17|
|At the Doctor||19|
|At the Hospital||20|
|At the Dentist||22|
|At the Occulist||22|
|At the Police Station||23|
|Getting a Bed||36|
|Getting Something to Eat and Drink||39|
|Essential Questions to Waiters||41|
|At the Newsagent||44|
|At the Photo Shop||45|
|At the Post Office||46|
|At the Bank||47|
|At the Hair Stylist||48|
|At the Barber's in Seville||49|
|At the Bullfight||50|
|At the Fiesta||52|
|At the Swimming Pool||52|
|On the Beach||53|
|At the Boutique||55|
|At the Massage Parlour||56|
|At the Disco||57|
|At the Club||57|
|Mature Female to Toy Boy||58|
|Sugar Daddy to Nymphette||58|
|Young Stud to Bimbo||59|
|Sweet Young Thing to Macho Male||59|
|Public Notices You May Come Up Against||60|
|Phrases You May Hear||61|