Spanish for Xenophobe's

Spanish for Xenophobe's

by Drew Launay




Spanish for Xenophobes is a humorous approach to Spanish that shows you can speak the language simply by using Plain English. Invaluable phrases will spill off your tongue, including such gems as: “Do you have a garlic-free zone?,” “Your donkey is standing on my foot,” and “It's going to take how long?”

Fun in the sun

Anyone attempting to understand the Spanish must first of all recognize the fact that they do not consider anything important except total enjoyment. If it is not enjoyable it will be ignored.

You can't buy happiness

The happiness of the individual is considered to be much more important than money. The goat herder who strolls the countryside with his animals breathing in the fresh air and loving his problem-less life is much more admired than the wealthy industrialist who hasn't time to enjoy life and spends quite a lot of his earnings on medicines to calm his peptic ulcers.


In Spain lust is ever in the air. There is nothing about the Spanish appreciation of sex that is inhibited or restrained. It is accepted that both men and women love making love, which is why there are very few sexual crimes in the country.

Everything in triplicate

It is impossible to reside in Spain without spending part of your life applying to an authority for some sort of permit, either to be allowed to go on existing once you are born, to be allowed to stay if you have come from abroad, to be allowed to start a

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781903096192
Publisher: Oval Books
Publication date: 03/01/2004
Series: Xenophobe's Guide Series
Pages: 92
Product dimensions: 4.25(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.20(d)

Read an Excerpt

Spanish for Xenophobes

By Launay, Drew

Oval Books

Copyright © 2004 Launay, Drew
All right reserved.

ISBN: 1903096197

Lo siento.
(Low / see en toe.)

What remedy would you recommend for:?
Puede usted darme algo contra:?
(Poo ed eh / ooze ted / dar meh / algo / contra:?

Mosquito bites.
Picaduras de mosquito.
(Peek ah doo rass / de / moss key toe.)

Crippling sunburn.
Quemadura de sol fuerte.
(Keh ma doo rah / deh / sol / foo air teh.)

(Eh more oi dess.)

I have been waiting a long time for my food.
Hace mucho que espero la comida.
(Ass eh / moo cho / keh / ess peh roe / la / co mee da.)

Are the things in brown sauce meat balls?
Eso en la salsa marrón son albóndigas?
(Esso / en / la / salsa / ma ron / son / al bond ee gas?)

I would like a seat on the shady side of the bullring.
Quiero una entrada a la sombra.
(Key ero / oon ah / en trah dah / ah / la / som bra.)

I don't think the straw donkey will fit in my suitcase.
No creo que el burro de paja quepa en mi maleta.
(No / creh oh / keh / ell / boo roe / deh / pa hah / kay pa / en / mee / mal letter.)


Excerpted from Spanish for Xenophobes by Launay, Drew Copyright © 2004 by Launay, Drew. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

The Alphabet8
A Bit of Important Grammar8
Possible Pitfalls8
Essential Words to Remember9
Less Essential But Jolly Useful Words and Phrases10
Small Talk10
Days of the Week, etc.13
The Family14
At the Chemist17
At the Doctor19
At the Hospital20
At the Dentist22
At the Occulist22
At the Police Station23
Getting About25
On Foot25
By Taxi26
By Bus27
By Train28
By Car30
Car Trouble31
Road Rage34
By Boat36
Getting a Bed36
Getting Something to Eat and Drink39
Fast Food39
Essential Questions to Waiters41
Slow Food43
Getting Service44
At the Newsagent44
At the Photo Shop45
At the Post Office46
At the Bank47
At the Hair Stylist48
At the Barber's in Seville49
Having Fun49
At the Bullfight50
At Pamplona51
At the Fiesta52
At the Swimming Pool52
On the Beach53
At the Boutique55
At the Massage Parlour56
At the Disco57
At the Club57
Mature Female to Toy Boy58
Sugar Daddy to Nymphette58
Young Stud to Bimbo59
Sweet Young Thing to Macho Male59
Public Notices You May Come Up Against60
Phrases You May Hear61
Last Words64

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