Are you living with a Beast? They come in all shapes and sizes. Some arrive because of an alcoholic or addict in the family, abuse, abandonment, an accident or illness, loss, perfectionism, or something else. Many are a combination of two or more. A Beast is that situation, person, attitude, or circumstance that has left you lost, defeated, frustrated, angry, hopeless and helpless, or living in paralyzing fear. Our Beasts remind us of the past, keep us from living in the present, and fearful of the future.
Beginning three years prior to the shooting, Valerie stepped onto what she calls the Roller Coaster from Hell. Her Codependent Enabler Beast rode it with her, but it would take Valerie nearly thirteen years to acknowledge the Beast that was slowly taking over her life.
With a heart shattered into a million pieces, a broken family, health issues, financial hardship and depression, Valerie was giving up the hope of ever being happy again. Still Standing After All the Tears takes you on a journey through the agony and hopelessness of losing a child over and over again to drug addiction. Valerie shares her very painful and journey to battle her own two-headed Codependency Enabler Beast. This book will give hope to anyone living with any kind of Beast - that you too have what it takes to stand up and fight.
She discovered the Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast that are helping countless others to stand up and fight; to put the pieces back together after all hell breaks loose.
Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast
1. Decide to Stand Up & Fight
2. Get On Your Spiritual Armor
3. Put On Your Oxygen Mask
4. Build Your Circle of Strength
5. Change Your Attitude
6. Adjust Your Focus
7. Stop Being a Control Freak
8. Stand On Your Story
9. Make Meaning From the Madness
Valerie has an incredibly relatable style and her sense of humor shows through the pain. This book is important not only for families of addicts or domestic abuse victims, but also for anyone struggling to move through or past a serious life situation. The Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast are the very actions that Valerie still uses today and that are helping others to stand up and reclaim their lives.
If you are a mother of an addict or have a family member or loved one who is an addict, this book is for you. If your Beast has nothing to do with addiction, this book is still for you. No matter what Beast you have been living with, the Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast could mean the difference between living and really living.
Update: In August 2016, Jamie (whom I called Jordan in the book) was murdered. This time the Beast didn't knock on the door. It was more like a home invasion. He had me down on the mat, barely able to breathe. I really had to put these Actions to the test, and learn to stand again, with a hole in my heart.
That is exactly what I did. I now carry my daughter's spirit with me as we go out into the world to make a difference.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
This book is a great guide for anyone struggling with their own hardship, or as Valerie Silveira calls it, the Beast. Beasts come in all shapes and sizes and Silveira has written a series of action steps one can use to battle and overcome them. Her specific struggle is with codependency and guilt over the path her daughter has taken in her life, going from a stellar high school life to becoming a heroin addict. Silveira's story itself is heart wrenching. She has to watch her daughter suffer through the highs and lows of addiction while learning to detach herself from her daughter's toxic life. After spending several years trying to be "Supermom" and help her daughter, Silveira realizes that all she is doing is enabling her. She learns that she has to separate her life from her daughter's and she the guilt and shame she carries with her as "mother of an addict." Using her personal journey, the author creates a list of actions to being to overcome your Beast, whatever it may be. The tools are generic and Silveira touts that what makes her approach special is building all of these actions into one game plan. When used simultaneously, they all work together to keep you fighting against what is holding you back. There aren't necessarily any new tactics included that haven't been suggested elsewhere - for example, identifying your inner circle of people you can rely on, or focusing on forgiving people - but Silveira collects and presents them in a way that seems doable and helpful. Throughout the book, she relates the action steps back to her own life. I found this tactic encouraging, because instead of just bulleted lists of instructions, she was able to offer real-life examples of how and when she applied these tools. I believe this book would be extremely beneficial to anyone struggling specifically with addiction, either in their life or the life of someone close to them. Silveira even mentions that finding someone with a similar experience is important because they have the understanding that other people don't necessarily have. Additionally, anyone with any kind of hardship that seems to be draining them of their life and energy - which is probably the majority of the population - could learn a lot from this book. I suffer from health issues and anxiety and took away a lot of good advice from this book. I may also use it as a resource in the future to form a "game plan" to fight my Beast. I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
Reviewed by Charity Tober for Readers' Favorite Still Standing After All The Tears by Valerie Silveira is a tough but motivational read. The author uses this book to not only share her personal heartbreaking story, but also to empower others to fight and prevail over the “beasts” in their own lives. Silveira defines a “beast” as “that situation, person, attitude or circumstance that has left you lost, defeated, frustrated, angry, hopeless and helpless, or living in paralyzing fear.” The author recounts the painful story of how her own daughter battled a “beast” of drug addiction and bad choices, which ultimately led to her being shot by an ex-boyfriend (who was also a gang member). The author points out that one poor choice can lead to another, and things can escalate fairly quickly. From her own experience with a life-changing ordeal, the author presents readers with nine steps to battling a personal “beast,” whether it be drugs, alcohol, abuse or any other number of debilitating life issues. Silveira advises readers to stand up and fight, put on spiritual armor, change their attitudes, adjust their focus, and make meaning of the madness! This book was a very motivational and introspective read for me. Valerie Silveira writes with such emotion, conviction, and a can-do attitude. She shows that no matter what you are going through, you can’t just lie down and take it. You must empower yourself to fight back and win against any “beasts” that come into your life. I was really inspired by how the author took such a heartbreaking situation (such as a child spiraling out of control) and used that to build a positive message of strength and support. Highly recommended for anyone going through a life trial.