Stop in the Name of Pants! (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #9)

Stop in the Name of Pants! (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #9)

by Louise Rennison


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Time to gird the loins and pucker up.

Blimey O'Reilly's trousers! When Georgia embraced being the girlfriend of a Rock Legend/Luurve God, she thought that was the end of her lovenosity woes. As usual, Georgia is the last to know what she is talking about. Now there's the small matter of a snogging accident involving her matey-type mate Dave the Laugh and some toasted newts in her undercrackers. Can Georgia lock up her red bottom and throw away the key?

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780061459344
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 05/19/2009
Series: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series , #9
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 405,690
Product dimensions: 5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x (d)
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author

Louise Rennison was a British comedian and the internationally bestselling and award-winning author of the angst-filled Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series as well as the Misadventures of Tallulah Casey series. Her first novel, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging, received a Michael L. Printz Honor Award in 2001, was adapted into a feature film, and has become a worldwide bestseller now translated into 34 languages. She was also awarded the Roald Dahl Funny Prize for the first book in her Tallulah Casey series, Withering Tights.

Read an Excerpt

Stop in the Name of Pants!

Chapter One

Deep in the forest of red bottomosity

Saturday July 30th
Camping fiasco
11:30 p.m.

In my tent of shame.


The rest of my so-called pals are still out in the woods with the "lads" and I have crept back to the campsite aloney. I can hear snoring from Miss Wilson's tent and also Herr Kamyer's. I bet there will be a deputation of voles coming along shortly to complain that they can't get any sleep because of the racket.

11:32 p.m.
I'm going to forget about everything and just go to sleep in my lovely sleeping bag. On the lovely soft ground. Not. It's like sleeping on an ironing board. And I do know what that is like, actually.

11:33 p.m.
I said coming on this school camping trip would be a fiasco of a sham and I was not wrong.

11:34 p.m.
I was right.

11:35 p.m.
I wonder what the others are doing?

11:36 p.m.
Anyway, the main thing is that I am now, officially, the girlfriend of a Luuurve God. And therefore I have put my red bottom behind me with a firm hand. I will never again be found wandering lonely as a clud into the cakeshop of luuurve. Or picking up some other éclair or tart or fondant fancy. Ditto Eccles cakes and Spotty Dick or . . . shut up, brain.

11:37 p.m.
So speaking as the official girlfriend of a Luuurve God who has put my red bottom behind me with a firm hand and who will never be wandering around looking for extra cakes, can someone tell me this. . . .

How in the name of God's panty hose have I ended up snogging Dave the Laugh?Also known as Dave the tart.

two minutes later
Oh goddy god god. And let us face facts. It wasn't just a matey type snog. You know, not a—"It's alright mate, I'm just a mate accidentally snogging another mate,"—sort of snog.

It was, frankly and to get to the point and not beat around the whatsit, a "phwoar" snogging situation.

thirty seconds later
In fact it was deffo No. 4 and about to be No 5.

four seconds later
Anyway, shut up, brain, I must think. Now is not the time for a rambling trip to Ramble land. Now is the time to put my foot down with a firm hand and stop snogging my not boyfriend Dave the Laugh.

one minute later
I mean, I am practically married to Masimo the Luuurve God.

ten seconds later
Well, give or take him actually asking me to marry him.

five seconds later
And the fact that he has gone off to Pizza-a-gogo land on holiday and left me here in Merrie but dangerous England to fend for myself. Being made to go on stupid school camping trips with madmen (Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer).

He has left me here, wandering around defenseless in the wilderness near Ramsgate, miles away from the nearest Topshop.

three seconds later
And how can I help it if Dave the Laugh burrows into my tent? Because that is more or less what happened.

That is le fact.

I was snuggling down under some bit of old raincoat (or sleeping bag, as Jas would say in her annoying oooh isn't it fun outdoors sort of way) . . . anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I was snuggling down earlier tonight after an action-packed day of newt drawing when there was tap tap tapping on the side of the tent. I thought it might have been an owl attack but it was Dave the Laugh and his Barmy Army (Tom, Declan, Sven and Edward) enticing us out into the forest with their promise of snacks and light entertainment.

four seconds later
I blame Dave entirely for this. He and I are just mates and I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend and that is that, end of story. Not, because then he comes to the countryside looking for me and waving his horn about.

We were frolicking about in the lads' tent, and Dave and me went off for an innocent walk in the woods. You know, like old matey type mates do. But then I put my foot down a bloody badger hole or something and fell backward into the river. Anyway, Dave was laughing like a loon for a bit but then he reached down and put his arms around me to lift me up the riverbank and I said, "I think I may have broken my bottom."

And he was really smiling and then he said, "Oh bugger, it has to be done."

And he snogged me.

When he stopped I pushed him backward and looked at him. I was giving him my worst look.

He said, "What?"

I said, "You know what. Don't just say 'what' like that."

"Like what?"

I said with enormous dignitosity, "Look, you enticed me with your shenanigans and, erm, puckering stuff."

He said, "Erm, I think you will find that you agreed to come to my tent in the middle of the night to steal me from my girlfriend."

I said, "It was you that snogged me."

He looked at me and then he sighed. "Yeah, I know. I don't feel very good about this. I'm not so . . . well, you're used to it."

My head nearly exploded. "I'm used to what??"

He looked quite angry, which felt horrible. I'd seen him angry with me before and I didn't usually like what he had to say. He went on: "You started all this sounding the horn business ages ago, using me like a decoy duck and then going out with Robbie, then messing about with me and then going out with Masimo. And then telling me that you felt mixed up."

I just looked at him.

I felt a bit weepy, actually. I might as well be wet at both ends.

Stop in the Name of Pants!. Copyright © by Louise Rennison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Stop in the Name of Pants! (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #9) 4.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 54 reviews.
TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
Watch out, mates! Georgia Nicolson has returned, and she definitely hasn't learned from her past mistakes.

Aside from trying to survive in the woods with all the creatures and (apparently) pigs roaming around, Georgia just got herself in a pickle when Dave the Laugh/Tart ended up kissing her when she fell. What makes it even worse, besides the fact that Dave has a girlfriend, is that Georgia just so happened to have recently become the girlfriend of the Italian Stallion.

It's a good thing that Massimo is miles away, because he would have gone bonkers if he found out what had happened. It's another thing that he hasn't called ever since he left.

Sure, she is stuck with two potential boyfriends, but what else is knew? Georgia must choose between the two before she ends up all by herself.

Aside from her boy troubles, her Mutti and Vati are continuing to fight and it's getting even worse, especially when Vati is changing his appearance into something no one should ever have to lay their eyes on. And before going back to Stalag 14, Georgia must have the best time ever with her mates, hopefully using most of her time not thinking about who she needs to choose between.

Who knew someone like Georgia could get into even more trouble? Wait, we all did!

The previous novels in the series have been absolutely hilarious, and STOP IN THE NAME OF PANTS! is no exception. The laughs keep on coming in this installment, and Georgia is crazier than ever. A series that you could never get tired of, it should come with a caution note on it: Warning, may cause hysterical laughter and odd looks from passerby when read in public!
karen-next More than 1 year ago
I have loved this series from the get-go. The characters are laugh-out-loud funny. Although I have to admit that I'm ready for all the back and forth between boys to be done with.
jwheelzJW More than 1 year ago
What a perfect name. This series makes me laugh, it's such a good escape from the everyday world. I laughed, I cried... I luurved the way Georgia talks and she's so candid. I would definitely be friends with her and the ace gang if i went to stalag 14 with them. It's a light read and just enjoyable.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is one of my fav sieries it was great and after you read it think about it dave the laugh did all that stuff on purpose to put a wedge inbetween her and mass. at the very end of the book!!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I've read these books for years and years and by far, this one made me snort more than any of the others. It had it all! I even cried a bit, as you all would had you been me or are reading le book. Ah the boys! Crickey they are soooo utterly utterly cool. I am, always have been completely in love and a fan club high member of Dave the Laugh. I can't wait for the next one! Is it a year yet?!
mrsdwilliams on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Book NINE in the Georgia Nicolson series.Georgia is back, but still stuck in the cakeshop of love. She is the official girlfriend of the Luuurve God, Masimo, but she's all alone at home while he's visiting his family (and his ex-girlfriend) in Pizza-a-Go-Go Land. Though Georgia has finally eschewed The Sex God, Robbie, with a firm hand, she can't stand it when he takes up with Wet Lindsay. Dave the Laugh keeps cropping up when Georgia least expects it. He gets all her jokes and they accidentally spend more time on the snogging scale. When tragedy strikes Georgia finds that she can be (sort of) mature, but she still finds plenty of time to snog. Still no choice, though. How long is Dave going to wait for Georgia to make up her mind?
DF6B_AlysiaS on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book went well with the rest of the series and Georgia kept me laughing but i wish it ended a little differently. It doesn't tell you whether or not Georgia had one laugh too many or if Massimo was still her boyfriend.
Jenson_AKA_DL on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Georgia is back replete with raunchy humor and British slang by the ton. This volume takes up right where the last left off, smack dab in the middle of the voleish camping trip and Georgia's once again "accidental" snogging. Although much of the book is tongue in cheek, parts seemed quite painful, such as the break down of Georgia's parents and their glaringly obvious ignorance of their children. In the previous volumes this all really seemed much more harmless than in this one. In to the middle of the book I really wasn't so sure I wanted to keep on reading, and then the horrible thing happened. Lets just say I was sitting there with tears streaming down my face to the point I alarmed my teen son who thought something really bad had actually happened (of course he had a good laugh when I told him it was the book I was reading.) After that I was totally in to the book and even had more giggly parts later on.As a whole I really do have to say I enjoyed the story. Georgia is probably one of the most self-enamored characters I've ever read, but for some reason I still like her. I'm also pretty fond of Dave the Laugh and would like to see things move in that direction (hint, hint, Ms. Rennison) This one left off on a bit of a cliffhanger and I'm looking forward to seeing what scandals Georgia will be getting herself in to next!
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I, as a seventeen year old girl, loved this book and the whole series!! Love love love. After i finished ond book, i picked up the next. Whole series is a must-read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Hey can someone please tell me what the name of the second one is cus idk and is really bothering me thanks a ton if you do!!
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This is the 9th book in the fabulous Confesssions of Georgia Nicolson series. Of course, Georgia is obviously trying to find her perfect boyfriend. She must choose between 2 boys, (of course you know in the last one 1 of them has been eliminated. I am not disclosing their names, because if you have not read the last 1 and are reading this, I don't want to spoil it for you.) She also must deal with her huge cat, Angus, and her parents annnoying arguments, and her crazy little sister (Libby. Georgia of course doesn't mature very much, but if she did, that would completely spoil everything. Okay, well, if she has matured, it is only about a thimble-full of maturosity. THis book is vair funny (like all the others) and I highly reccomend it. DOn't quit at the 8th or the7th or the 6th or the 5th or at any book unlesss you can't stand it. Accomplish SOMETHING in life. They are amazing,so you probably won't have to worrry about hating them, especially if you are reading this. So long, Louise Rennison fans!!!!!!!!
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Alieshaia More than 1 year ago
Georgia Nicholson's diary tells you about her hilarious, dramatic, crazy life. Although the ending leaves you hanging a little too far on the edge, I recommend this book to everyone who has read any of Louise Rennison's Georgia Nicholson series. There is love, friendship, and lots of laughing at her humorous stories of how she manages between her three maybe boyfriends.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago