Stupid White Men: ...And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation!

Stupid White Men: ...And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation!

by Michael Moore

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Overview

Chapter One

A Very
American Coup

The following message was intercepted by U.N. forces on 9/1/01, at 0600 hours, from somewhere within the North American continent:

I am a citizen of the United States of America. Our government has been overthrown. Our elected President has been exiled. Old white men wielding martinis and wearing dickies have occupied our nation's capital.

We are under siege. We are the United States Government-in-Exile.

Our numbers are not insignificant. There are over 154 million adults among us, and 80 million children. That's 234 million people who did not vote for, and are not represented by, the regime that has placed itself in power.

Al Gore is the elected President of the United States. He received 539,898 more votes than George W. Bush. But he does not sit tonight in the Oval Office. Instead our elected President roams the country without purpose or mission, surfacing only to lecture college students and replenish his stash of Little Debbie's Snack Cakes.

Al Gore won. Al Gore, President-in-Exile. Long live El Presidente Albertooooooo Gorrrrrrrrrrre!

So who, then, is the man that now occupies 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? I'll tell you who:

He is George W. Bush, "President" of the United States. The Thief-in-Chief.

It used to be that politicians would wait until they were in office before they became crooks. This one came prepackaged. Now he is a trespasser on federal land, a squatter in the OvalOffice. If I told you this was Guatemala, you'd believe it in a heartbeat, no matter what your political stripe. But because this coup was wrapped in an American flag, delivered in your choice of red, white, or blue, those responsible believe they're going to get away with it.

That's why, on behalf of 234 million Americans held hostage, I have requested that NATO do what it did in Bosnia and Kosovo, what America did in Haiti, what Lee Marvin did in The Dirty Dozen:

Send in the Marines! Launch the SCUD missiles! Bring us the head of Antonin Scalia!

I have sent a personal request to U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan to hear our plea. We are no longer able to govern ourselves or to hold free and fair elections. We need U.N. observers, U.N. troops, U.N. resolutions!

Dammit, we need Jimmy Carter!

We are now finally no better than a backwater banana republic. We are asking ourselves why any of us should bother to get up in the morning to work our asses off to produce goods and services that only serve to make the junta and its cohorts in Corporate America (a separate, autonomous fiefdom within the United States that has been allowed to run on its own for some time) even richer. Why should we pay our taxes to finance their coup? Can we ever again send our sons off into battle to give their lives defending "our way of life" — when all that really means is the lifestyle of the gray old men holed up in the headquarters they seized by the Potomac?

Oh JesusMaryAndJoseph, I can't take it! Somebody pass me the universal remote! I need to switch back to the fairy tale that I was a citizen in a democracy with an inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happy Meals. The story I was told as a child said that I mattered, that I was equal to every one of my fellow citizens — and that not a single one of us was to be treated differently or unfairly, that no one was to wield power over others without their consent. The will of the people. America the Beautiful. Land that I love. Twilight's...last...gleaming. Oh, say, can you see — are the Belgian peacekeepers on their way? Hurry!

The coup began long before the shenanigans on Election Day 2000. In the summer of 1999 Katherine Harris, an honorary Stupid White Man who was both George W. Bush's presidential campaign cochairwoman and the Florida secretary of state in charge of elections, paid $4 million to Database Technologies to go through Florida's voter rolls and remove anyone "suspected" of being a former felon. She did so with the blessing of the governor of Florida, George W.'s brother Jeb Bush — whose own wife was caught by immigration officials trying to sneak $19,000 worth of jewelry into the country without declaring and paying tax on it...a felony in its own right. But hey, this is America. We don't prosecute felons if they're rich or married to a governing Bush.

The law states that ex-felons cannot vote in Florida. And sadly (though I'm confident that Florida's justice system was always unimpeachably fair), that means 31 percent of all black men in Florida are prohibited from voting because they have a felony on their record. Harris and Bush knew that removing the names of ex-felons from the voter rolls would keep thousands of black citizens out of the voting booth.

Black Floridians, overwhelmingly, are Democrats — and sure enough, Al Gore received the votes of more than 90 percent of them on November 7, 2000.

That is, 90 percent of those who were allowed to vote.

In what appears to be a mass fraud committed by the state of Florida, Bush, Harris, and company not only removed thousands of black felons from the rolls, they also removed thousands of black citizens who had never committed a crime in their lives — along with thousands of eligible voters who had committed only misdemeanors.

How did this happen? Harris's office told Database — a firm with strong Republican ties — to cast as wide a net as possible to get rid of these voters. Her minions instructed the company to include even people with "similar" names to those of the actual felons. They insisted Database check people with the same birth...

Stupid White Men. Copyright © by Michael Moore. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780060987268
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 05/11/2004
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.68(d)

About the Author

Michael Moore's first book, Downsize This!, was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback. The award-winning director of the groundbreaking documentary Roger & Me, which became the largest grossing nonfiction film of all time, Moore is the creator and host of the Emmy-winning series TV Nation and The Awful Truth. Also the coauthor (with Kathleen Glynn) of Adventures In A TV Nation, he lives in New York City.

Date of Birth:

April 23, 1954

Place of Birth:

Davison, Michigan

Education:

Attended University of Michigan, Flint

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

A Very
American Coup

The following message was intercepted by U.N. forces on 9/1/01, at 0600 hours, from somewhere within the North American continent:

I am a citizen of the United States of America. Our government has been overthrown. Our elected President has been exiled. Old white men wielding martinis and wearing dickies have occupied our nation's capital.

We are under siege. We are the United States Government-in-Exile.

Our numbers are not insignificant. There are over 154 million adults among us, and 80 million children. That's 234 million people who did not vote for, and are not represented by, the regime that has placed itself in power.

Al Gore is the elected President of the United States. He received 539,898 more votes than George W. Bush. But he does not sit tonight in the Oval Office. Instead our elected President roams the country without purpose or mission, surfacing only to lecture college students and replenish his stash of Little Debbie's Snack Cakes.

Al Gore won. Al Gore, President-in-Exile. Long live El Presidente Albertooooooo Gorrrrrrrrrrre!

So who, then, is the man that now occupies 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? I'll tell you who:

He is George W. Bush, "President" of the United States. The Thief-in-Chief.

It used to be that politicians would wait until they were in office before they became crooks. This one came prepackaged. Now he is a trespasser on federal land, a squatter in the Oval Office. If Itold you this was Guatemala, you'd believe it in a heartbeat, no matter what your political stripe. But because this coup was wrapped in an American flag, delivered in your choice of red, white, or blue, those responsible believe they're going to get away with it.

That's why, on behalf of 234 million Americans held hostage, I have requested that NATO do what it did in Bosnia and Kosovo, what America did in Haiti, what Lee Marvin did in The Dirty Dozen:

Send in the Marines! Launch the SCUD missiles! Bring us the head of Antonin Scalia!

I have sent a personal request to U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan to hear our plea. We are no longer able to govern ourselves or to hold free and fair elections. We need U.N. observers, U.N. troops, U.N. resolutions!

Dammit, we need Jimmy Carter!

We are now finally no better than a backwater banana republic. We are asking ourselves why any of us should bother to get up in the morning to work our asses off to produce goods and services that only serve to make the junta and its cohorts in Corporate America (a separate, autonomous fiefdom within the United States that has been allowed to run on its own for some time) even richer. Why should we pay our taxes to finance their coup? Can we ever again send our sons off into battle to give their lives defending "our way of life" -- when all that really means is the lifestyle of the gray old men holed up in the headquarters they seized by the Potomac?

Oh JesusMaryAndJoseph, I can't take it! Somebody pass me the universal remote! I need to switch back to the fairy tale that I was a citizen in a democracy with an inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happy Meals. The story I was told as a child said that I mattered, that I was equal to every one of my fellow citizens -- and that not a single one of us was to be treated differently or unfairly, that no one was to wield power over others without their consent. The will of the people. America the Beautiful. Land that I love. Twilight's...last...gleaming. Oh, say, can you see -- are the Belgian peacekeepers on their way? Hurry!

The coup began long before the shenanigans on Election Day 2000. In the summer of 1999 Katherine Harris, an honorary Stupid White Man who was both George W. Bush's presidential campaign cochairwoman and the Florida secretary of state in charge of elections, paid $4 million to Database Technologies to go through Florida's voter rolls and remove anyone "suspected" of being a former felon. She did so with the blessing of the governor of Florida, George W.'s brother Jeb Bush -- whose own wife was caught by immigration officials trying to sneak $19,000 worth of jewelry into the country without declaring and paying tax on it...a felony in its own right. But hey, this is America. We don't prosecute felons if they're rich or married to a governing Bush.

The law states that ex-felons cannot vote in Florida. And sadly (though I'm confident that Florida's justice system was always unimpeachably fair), that means 31 percent of all black men in Florida are prohibited from voting because they have a felony on their record. Harris and Bush knew that removing the names of ex-felons from the voter rolls would keep thousands of black citizens out of the voting booth.

Black Floridians, overwhelmingly, are Democrats -- and sure enough, Al Gore received the votes of more than 90 percent of them on November 7, 2000.

That is, 90 percent of those who were allowed to vote.

In what appears to be a mass fraud committed by the state of Florida, Bush, Harris, and company not only removed thousands of black felons from the rolls, they also removed thousands of black citizens who had never committed a crime in their lives -- along with thousands of eligible voters who had committed only misdemeanors.

How did this happen? Harris's office told Database -- a firm with strong Republican ties -- to cast as wide a net as possible to get rid of these voters. Her minions instructed the company to include even people with "similar" names to those of the actual felons. They insisted Database check people with the same birth...

Stupid White Men. Copyright © by Michael Moore. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Table of Contents

Forewordix
Introductionxiii
1A Very American Coup1
2Dear George31
3Dow Wow Wow49
4Kill Whitey58
5Idiot Nation87
6Nice Planet, Nobody Home121
7The End of Men144
8We're Number One!165
9One Big Happy Prison197
10Democrats, DOA211
11The People's Prayer231
Epilogue: Tallahassee Hi-Ho238
Notes and Sources259
Acknowledgments277
About the Author280
About the Typeface281

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Stupid White Men: And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 143 reviews.
Sean_RMIT on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
If you want to know why large portions of the human race including my good self disapprove of America's government and corporates then read this book. Just like everything I have seen and read from Moore you are sure to go away angry. This is especially true for me as many of the ugly neo liberal policies being perpetrated in the US are slowly slithering into the politics of other countries including Australia and New Zealand where I currently reside. Privitised medical, undermined workers rights and parasitical banks are a plague we all have to watch out for. Aided and abetted of course by stupid white men (and women) out for a quick buck at everyone elses expense. Like Moore or hate him he makes his point and makes it well.
samsheep on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Fully agree with what he is saying but reading it feels rather like being shouted at. Inevitably becoming a bit dated now that the reign of Bush is mercifully over but much still remains sadly true about the remaining stupid white men.
arsmith on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I got about halfway through this one and never finished it. I think he repeats a lot of stuff. More entertainment than anything else.
isabelx on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I loved the introduction to the Penguin edition, where he explains to his non-American readers how the librarians of America put the fear of God onto his US publishers and forced them to publish SWM after they got extremely cold feet in the wake of 9/11. This is a great book, passionate and full of righteous indignation and ideas for making a difference. I have liked Michael Moore since seeing his "TV Nation" series.
Chilperic1 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
As a nationalistic Briton, its going to be harder for me to understand the difficulties America faces, but I shall will write this review anyway based on my view of the book.The book starts off with a though-provoking introduction, but after that fast degenerates into Moore moaning about how George Bush stole the election, which not only is untrue, but is highly tedious.Following this, the book goes over many issues with varying effectiveness. While humourous, it can be hard to read with constant ranting about the 'stolen' election and how all America's problems are to do with stupid white men... ironic considering who wrote the book.
Devil_llama on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The author hits and misses with about equal proportion. This book will go down well for those who already agree with him, but in our current polarized poltiical climate, those who do not agree will just dismiss everything he says, even in those cases where he agrees with them.
JohnMunsch on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
An excellent book but the unabridged audio version of it leaves something to be desired. Arte Johnson (of Laugh-In fame) does a fairly good job of reading the text but has occasional gaffe's that really should have been caught and re-recorded. My favorite was when he incorrectly reads Kim Jong Il as Kim Jong Two.There are also several sections where it sounds as though he is reading the text aloud for the very first time and somewhat stumbling through it as a result. I'd recommend the book over the audio recording.
whiteberg on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Rather silly, but it has some funny and illuminating moments.
jaimelesmaths on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A hilarious, yet eye-opening book, Stupid White Men is a great read for anyone who identifies as "liberal" or "progressive." However, I don't find Moore as funny or as thorough as Al Franken, and this book suffers more than his do from time-sensitivity. Perhaps this is due to Moore focusing more on specific events (that have since been rendered moot) than people (like Franken). Additionally, Moore comes across as a bit more manipulative than Franken does. However, the fact that I'm picking up on all these pseudo-negatives and still decided to give the book 4 stars shows how high quality the writing and humor are, and it's simply a case of me preferring Franken's writing to Moore's (though I still love his films).
elmyra on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Polemic but fun to read - until you think about it, at which point it becomes depressing. It's one of those books that we liberal Europeans love to read because it confirms that we're right. Unfortunately, preaching to the choir doesn't tend to achieve much. ;-)
wyvernfriend on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
My evil little brother gave this to me. He's currently on Naomi Klein's No Logo and he recommended this to me - as better, he was right, it's more readable and gets you both laughing and feeling guilty about the fact that the laugh has irony attached. Also has a paen to Librarians in the intro.Why evil little brother - I couldn't put it down one night and stayed up until 3 am reading it, I eventually put it down due to tiredness and as soon as I woke I picked it up again
ngennaro on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
There are few books I will stop reading as I feel you must read the entire book to understand the authors meaning. This however was not the case. The points made in this book were non-existent. This is just drivel written with such a bias that its not even worth finishing. Before you say this is because I am a "Michael Savage, Conservative" note that I have the exact same review on his book. Putting down two books in as many days because they were so blatently wrong, was a new low for me.
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Stupid White Men is a book full of very interesting facts that involves Moore's entertaining sense of humor. He discusses many stupid white men from those behind the 2000 election of the "thief in chief" George Bush, to those involved with the mad cow disease outbreak. Moore is very serious about all that he advocates for which makes it hard to tell when he's joking. Such as when he encourages you to write letters to your elected officials, and soon there after advises you to save gas by hitch hiking. Some of his ideas seem some what over the top, such as blacks should put inflatable white dolls in their cars so racist cops will think they're chauffeurs. All in all, Stupid White Men is a good read that makes you look at the world a little differently.
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CJ-McIntyre4 More than 1 year ago
This book caught my just by the title, Stupid White Men. I have always believed that there were a lot of stupid people out there, but I never put it into consideration that most of these people were white males. I agreed with just about everything that Michael Moore said in this book and it gave me a better understanding of how corrupt the government can be. I especially liked the letter he sent George Bush asking him if he was illiterate. I would definitely recommend this book, whether your democrat or republican.
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