The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference

by Shaunti Feldhahn
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Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
DiscipleMom_Laura More than 1 year ago
Shaunti Feldhahn’s latest 2014 release, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference highlights “simple, learnable habits that are common to highly happy couples.”  She focused on finding things other couples can replicate as they work toward bettering their marriages. I appreciate that Feldhahn included a former chief of survey design for the U.S. Census Bureau in building her surveys.  And, she used the services of Decision Analysis, a top company for reliable online surveys.  Because of that, her statistics and analysis are credible and reliable. I think readers will find some of the habits shocking, like “go to bed mad.”  Other habits include:  believe the best, know that little is big, boss your feelings, keep score, use sign language, and have actual fantasies.  Some are not what you think.  All of them are simple (not necessarily easy) and doable, though, as Feldhahn shows through statistics and stories from couples she interviewed. The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages includes a variety of strategies and ideas that sound promising.  But with so many great ideas and habits, where do you even start?  Feldhahn addresses that in her introduction, and I agree with her:  “Pick one idea first, and try it for a week or two or five.  Then when that action becomes a habit, start on another.” Feldhahn also provides practical help in the final chapter, “Putting the Secrets to Work” where she gives “Ten Anyone-Can-Do-Them Tips” for applying the secrets of highly happy marriages.  That may be a great place to start when thinking about what habits to develop first. With that in mind, some of the following will prove helpful for couples looking to put into place some new habits: • The Fast Fives for Him and for Her in chapter 2 • Tips for changing how you feel in chapter 6 • Ideas for overcoming challenges to together time in chapter 9 • A picture of what “looking higher” looks like in chapter 11 • Ways to get “all in” in chapter 12 The only regret I have about this book is the cover design.  It looks rather feminine with pink and green, and I sincerely hope that won’t keep men from picking up this book as they’ll benefit from it just as much as women will. I highly recommend this book to any couple wanting to increase marital happiness.  These research-based habits of highly successful marriages are practical, helpful and doable.  You can start as soon as you pick up the book and start to read.  So, whether your marriage is good and you’re looking for great, or whether your marriage is less-than-good looking for good—this book has some interesting and anyone-can-do habits that will help you get where you want to go. Note:  I received this book for free from Blogging for Books for this review.  However, the opinions expressed are my own.
Kassie17 More than 1 year ago
If you are married, or engaged, or dating someone that might be the one and secretly reading all the marriage books that you can lay your hands on... this post is for you I've never been one for reading all of those marriage books, even though I have read some, and I think that they hold a lot of good information.  But after a while, books telling you what to fix about your marriage become  tedious and boring, and I lose interest about a quarter of the way through.  When picking a book to review, I saw "the surprising secrets of highly happy marriages" by Shaunti Feldhahn and just kept scrolling down the page. When I didn't see another book that interested  me, I decided to click on it and see what it was all about. It intrigued me, I must admit, when the back of the book talked about highly happy couples 'going to bed mad, keeping score, and not telling it like it is".  In this very unique and well written book, Feldhahn takes the boring, mundane marriage book and turns it into into something new and exciting... And all she did was focus on the positive  things that couples were doing instead of focusing on the negative things that we are doing! AMAZING!  While reading this book, I didn't feel like I was a failure at marriage, but while reading stories  of what has worked for other couples, it inspired me to try harder at my marriage, and to try new things.  Bottom line: read this book. If you are single, dating, engaged, or have been married for 25 years. Read it!
staceb More than 1 year ago
I received a copy to review.  All opinions are mine. A few months back, I came across another marriage resource called, "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, the little things that make a difference," by Shaunti Feldhahn.  She is the best selling author of For Women Only which I have, but have never read.  Tsk tsk, I know.  At any rate, I knew this would be a great read. Inside, you will discover that there are little things that people to do in a marriage that can make your marriage quite successful.  Most folks overlook these small actions, but not the Highly Happy Yes! couples. Yes! couples are a group of couples that Shaunti surveyed about the marriage and they both  answered yes to the same questions meaning, they were both very happy and believed that there spouse would never do anything intentionally to hurt them.  I must mention that there were many couples interviewed, but not all of them felt the same way as the other souse.  Those couples were not considered Highly Happy because they differed and were not really on one accord. Contents include: 1. The truth about Highly Happy and You Highly Happy Couples: 2. Know little is big 3. Believe the best 4. Go to bed mad. 5. Keep score. 6. Boss their feelings around 7. Have factual fantasies 8. Use sign language 9. Hang out 10. Don't tell it like it is. 11. Look Higher 12. Get in over their heads 13. Think they hit the jackpot 14. Putting the secrets to work. My thoughts: I have dog-eared just about every page in the book, no kidding.  I think the most important message that I get from it is to always be positive.  Believe the best in your spouse.  Do things for your spouse out of love, not expecting anything in return.  And so on.  I felt that the info shared in this book was quite helpful to me.  This teaches how you can make simple, small, changes that will have a huge impact on your union.