Surviving an Affair

Surviving an Affair

Hardcover(Revised Edition)

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Surviving an Affair by Willard F. Harley Jr., Jennifer Harley Chalmers

Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, marriage counselor, and bestselling author of His Needs, Her Needs. His popular website,, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. He and Joyce, his wife of over fifty years, host a daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders Radio. They live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.

Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers is a licensed psychologist, author, international speaker, and marriage counselor. She and Phil, her husband of over twenty-eight years, live in the Philippines.

Dr. Harley and Dr. Chalmers have collaborated over the last twenty years to create and improve methods that restore love to marriage. Their primary focus has been the recovery of love after an affair.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800719548
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 07/01/2013
Edition description: Revised Edition
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 216,854
Product dimensions: 6.20(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Draw Close. Harley's most-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is also now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website,, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.

Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers is a licensed psychologist and marriage counselor.

Table of Contents

1 You Can Survive This Affair
2 It Could Never Happen to Me!
3 How Do Affairs Begin?
4 How Do Affairs Usually End?
5 How Should Affairs End?
6 Preparing for Marital Recovery
7 Marital Recovery with the Rule of Protection
8 Marital Recovery with the Rule of Care
9 Marital Recovery with the Rule of Time
10 Marital Recovery with the Rule of Honesty
11 Completing Marital Recovery Part 1: Managing Resentment and Restoring Trust
12 Completing Marital Recovery Part 2: Renewing Marital Commitment
A The Most Important Emotional Needs
B Emotional Needs Questionnaire
C Personal History Questionnaire
D Marital Recovery Agreement

Customer Reviews

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Surviving an Affair 3.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book alleviates guilt on the cheating spouse and assigns it to the betrayed spouse. It also places most of the responsibility for making changes to restore the marriage on the betrayed spouse and encourages the betrayed spouse to not show any anger or act in any way that might upset the cheating spouse and cause them to go back into the affair. Ludicrous!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
While im not completely through reading this, and not sure if i will, this book is not good. If ur broken and numb from finding out about an affair PLEASE dont read this! I am a very confident woman and was unaware of ANY probs in our relationship. I was recommended this book and it put the blame on me! NO WAY! I didnt choose this way he did, and the fact that he couldnt relay his feelings to me was his fault not mine! This book blames the victim for "not meeting the emotional needs of the cheater"!! WE R NOT PSYCHIC!! AND SHOULD NEVER FEEL BLAME!! The ONLY reason i gave it 2 stars is because it made ME think and be aware that i didnt make these decisions!! Also it leads u to believe that there is always some kind of love between the cheater and the 3rd person....not the case either!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is based on the fact the the spouse who really cares about the marriage -- the betrayed spouse -- is going to have to do the majority of the work in repairing the marriage. The unfaithful spouse is usually neither willing nor able. That may not be fair, but that's just how it is.
Guest More than 1 year ago
It was recommended to read this book by my counselor, and I found it was a very good resource. It helped me to understand why and how an affair could happen, and then how to move on after it. I also think it would be great for support people and family to read so they can understand how you are going to rebuild your marriage or for those having problems in general to prevent affairs and such from happening.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Almost two weeks ago my husband confessed to me that he was having an affair with a co-worker. Not only this, but that he had had previous affairs before this current one. The blow was powerful and I never saw it coming. I felt that the five years of an amazing marriage we had was now a lie. We read through this book together during the first week after his confession. It really helped us get through the crisis mode and into the what do we do now faze. I don't know what road we will choose, but this book is giving me reasons as to why it happened.
Guest More than 1 year ago
When I found myself, after 5 years of marriage, in a situation that I was sure 'could never happen to me', my emotional self was destroyed. My intellectual self, however, searched for something that would give me guidance - and guidelines - that would put our marriage back on track. If you are looking for something that will not only validate everything you are feeling and experiencing, but also give you some practical strategies that will help, this book is for you.
Guest More than 1 year ago
My pastor gave this to me when I discovered my spouse was having an internet affair. This book has really helped get me through this so far, as well as God's grace. Everything the book said would probably happened - did happen. It gave me knowledge and patience to wait it out and to keep a level head. I was better prepared to deal with the situation as I read this book. It also gave me hope.