Talkability: Discover the secrets of effective conversation

Talkability: Discover the secrets of effective conversation

by James Borg

Paperback

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781292013640
Publisher: FT Press
Publication date: 09/27/2016
Pages: 256
Product dimensions: 8.40(w) x 5.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

After graduating in London, with degrees in both economics and psychology, James Borg had a successful career in advertising, sales, marketing and journalism. This equipped him well for his current role as a work psychologist, business consultant and trainer in persuasion techniques, interpersonal skills and memory improvement. With his fascination for the human mind from a young age (he was admitted as one of the youngest ever members of The Magic Circle after his demonstration of 'mind-reading' and memory feats) he performed occasionally with a routine known as 'The mind and magic of James Borg'. Tuning in to other people's thoughts - and being aware of our own - is his prescription for success in all aspects of life. He's often invited on BBC radio and was selected as a Harvard Business Review author for May 2009.

Table of Contents

About the author ix

Author's acknowledgements x

Publisher's acknowledgements xii

Author's note: Am 'adventure' with words xiii

Foreword Angela Rippon xv

Part 1 Talk Essentials 2

1 Introduction: 'Feel the magic in the making…' 4

2 'iContact' or eye contact? 8

3 'I know you believe you understand…' 12

4 'Paralinguistics' (it's the 'melody' as well as the 'lyrics') 16

5 The 'rhythm' of talking and listening 20

6 It's the 'beginnings' and 'endings' (the 'primacy' and 'recency' effect) 24

Part 2 Saying It Right 26

7 'I said something wrong' ('now I long for…') 28

8 Turn 'closed' questions into 'open' ones 32

9 Gossip talk 36

10 Rules of eye contact 40

11 Small talk leads to BIG talk 44

12 Tone down the 'uptalk' 50

13 'And every conversation, I can now recall…' 52

14 Mindfulness or 'mindlessness'? 56

15 You reveal your true level of interest by the way you listen 60

16 Fight or flight? … the 'amygdala hijack' 62

17 'We need to talk' (warning!) 66

18 The power of the pause … ('go ahead … make my day!') 70

19 Is 'fine' the new 'F-word'? 72

20 Invert your 'BUT' (and we're not talking about a Pilates move!) 76

21 'And' another thing … (while we're on the subject) 78

22 Interject, don't interrupt 80

23 Assertion not aggression 84

24 I should avoid 'should' 88

25 Never say 'never' again 92

26 Don't ask me 'WHY'? 96

27 YOU ought to know better! 100

28 Put the 'I' in feeling 102

29 Can I make a suggestion…? 106

30 Don't tell me about the 'white bear' 110

31 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word' 112

32 The 'non-apology' apology 116

33 Telephone talk 120

34 Networking or 'notworking'? 124

35 Exit 'lines' 128

36 Mirroring? ('yeah, yeah, yeah') 132

37 Are you a 'radiator' or a 'drain'? 136

38 Say 'yes' to 'no' 138

39 Balance honesty with courtesy 142

40 'To be honest' it's 'no problem' 146

41 'Urn' … 'err' … 'uh' … target the killer 'fillers' 150

42 Held the jargon 154

43 The magical 'rule of three' 158

44 'I'm an extrovert… get me in there!' 162

45 'I'm an introvert… get me out of here!' 166

46 Feedback … 'How am I doing?' 170

47 Don't forget the 'positives' at work 174

48 'Praise sandwich' (hold the carbs!) 178

49 'Tread softly for you tread on my dreams …' 182

50 'Trust me, I'm a doctor' 186

51 'Trust me, err … I'm, err … a politician' 192

52 'I want to tell you a story …' 198

53 Disagree without being disagreeable 202

54 Giving and receiving praise 208

55 Men and women at work ('report' or 'rapport'?) 214

56 'He said', 'She said' … (just different?) 218

57 Final words: 'Do you expect me to talk?' 223

Afterword 227

Index 229

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