Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or

Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes"

by Madeline Levine PhD
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Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes" by Madeline Levine PhD

Psychologist Madeline Levine brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.

Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the escalating rates of emotional problems and lack of real engagement with learning found so frequently among America’s children and teens. Yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, and emotionally impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance.

Confronting the real issues behind why we push some of our kids to the breaking point while dismissing the talents and interests of many others, Levine shows us how to shift our focus from the excesses of hyperparenting and the unhealthy reliance on our children for status and meaning to a parenting style that concentrates on both enabling academic success and developing a sense of purpose, well-being, and connection in our children’s lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780062196842
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 12/06/2016
Pages: 352
Sales rank: 105,673
Product dimensions: 5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Madeline Levine, PhD, is a clinician, consultant, and educator; the author of the New York Times bestseller The Price of Privilege; and a cofounder of Challenge Success, a project of the Stanford School of Education that addresses education reform, student well-being,and parent education. She lives outside San Francisco with her husband and is the proud mother of three newly minted adult sons.

Table of Contents

Introduction Courageous Parenting-Taking the Long View xiii

Part 1 Authentic Success: It's Not About Bleeding Hearts Versus Tiger Moms 1

Chapter 1 The Kids Are Not Alright (and Neither Are Their Parents) 3

Chapter 2 How Did We Get into This Mess? 23

Part 2 The "School Years" are Not Just About Academics: A Primer on Child Development 43

Chapter 3 The Tasks of the Elementary School Years: Ages 5-11 45

Learning How to Make Friends and Be a Friend 49

Becoming Competent and Excited About Learning 59

Developing a Sense of Self: Who Am I? 69

Becoming an Empathic Person 73

Remembering to Play 79

General Recommendations for Parenting Your Elementary School Age Child 84

Chapter 4 The Tasks of the Middle School Years: Ages 11-14 89

Navigating Puberty 93

Staying Healthy 103

Building Independence 120

Building a Peer Group 129

Note to Parents 144

Chapter 5 The Tasks of the High School Years: Ages 14-18 145

Becoming an Adult Thinker 148

Learning to Manage Sexuality 159

Building a Sense of Identity 167

Developing Autonomy 174

Part 3 The Resilience Factor: Seven Essential Coping Skills 185

Chapter 6 Teaching Our Kids to Find Solutions 189

Resourcefulness: "I can handle this" instead of "Mom …" 189

Enthusiasm: "I love this" instead of "Whatever" 194

Creativity: "Let's look at this differently" not "What's the right answer?" 201

A Good Work Ethic: "I'm going to keep at it" instead of "I quit" 209

Chapter 7 Teaching Our Kids to Take Action 217

Self-Control: "It just doesn't feel right" instead of "All the kids are doing it" 217

Self-Esteem: "I feel good about myself" instead of "I suck" 225

Self-Efficacy: "I can make a difference" instead of "Nothing I do matters" 232

Part 4 Walking the Talk 241

Chapter 8 Defining and Living Your Family Values: A Paper and Pencil Exercise 243

What Are Your Core Values? 248

Family Values Statement 252

Your Guiding Principles 254

The Family Action Plan 255

Chapter 9 Editing the Script: Becoming the Parents We Want to Be 261

Denial: "Problem? What problem?" 266

Projection: "Yeah, they've got a problem, not me" 271

Peer Pressure: It's Not Just for Teenagers 275

Is Parenting Hereditary? "I can't believe I sound just like my mother" 282

The Trinity of Change: Self-Reflection, Empathy, and Flexibility 286

Acknowledgments 299

Notes 303

Index 311

What People are Saying About This

Ned Hallowell

“A fantastic, on-point, desperately needed book! If you have children or care about children or care about the future of this country and the world, read this book.”

David Elkind

“With keen insight and telling examples, Levine offers suggestions for adopting a more balanced idea of success that requires changing deeply ingrained habits but is well worth the effort.”

Daniel H. Pink

“Madeline Levine’s voice is a welcome antidote to the Tiger-Momming of America. [Teach Your Children Well] is packed with smart and savvy advice for raising independent, productive, and well-adjusted young people. Read this book—your kids will thank you.”

Kenneth R. Ginsburg

“For the sake of the adults of tomorrow, I hope that Teach Your Children Well becomes a must-read and must-discuss book for parents today.”

Judith Warner

“Levine really comes into her own . . . when she moves beyond child development to concentrate instead on parent development, exploring why we do the misguided things we do, and asking how we must (as we must) change ourselves and behave differently.”

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Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes" 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
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