The Accidental Demon Slayer (Accidental Demon Slayer Series #1)

The Accidental Demon Slayer (Accidental Demon Slayer Series #1)

by Angie Fox


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781939661128
Publisher: Angie Fox
Publication date: 04/16/2013
Series: Accidental Demon Slayer Series , #1
Pages: 314
Sales rank: 615,856
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Angie Fox is the New York Times bestselling author of several books about vampires, werewolves and things that go bump in the night. She is best known for her Accidental Demon Slayer urban fantasy series. She is also writing a series about a group of paranormal MASH surgeons.

Angie claims that researching her stories can be just as much fun as writing them. In the name of fact-finding, Angie has ridden with Harley biker gangs, explored the tunnels underneath Hoover Dam and found an interesting recipe for Mamma Coalpot's Southern Skunk Surprise (she's still trying to get her courage up to try it).

Angie earned a Journalism degree from the University of Missouri. She worked in television news and then in advertising before beginning her career as an author. Visit Angie at

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One
When I opened the door to greet my grandmother for the very first time, I'm not sure what I was expecting. I know I hadn't envisioned an apple-shaped woman in a Kiss My Asphalt T-shirt, with windburned cheeks and a sagging tattoo of a phoenix on her arm. But what I really didn't bargain for was a brief hug, followed by a forceful shove that had me landing firmly on my butt on the cold, black-and-white checked floor of my hall bathroom.
"Let me out of here!" I twisted the bathroom doorknob until I wrenched my wrist. How the frig did this happen? One minute I was answering my door, and the next I had landed booty over tea kettle on tile that was about two weeks overdue for a good scrubbing.
"Buck up, sugar cake." My grandma's chunky silver rings clinked against the other side of the door, and her gravelly voice sounded like she'd spent the last century breathing semi-truck exhaust. "This is for your own good."
My own good? In what world could she know what was good for me? I'd never even heard from my mom's mom until she called me the day before. The next thing I knew, she was flying to Atlanta to meet me. I had assumed that meant air travel, not the hot pink Harley parked in my driveway.
I kicked the door with all my strength. "Ouchie!" I hollered as pain seared my foot. Dang it all. Three years teaching at Happy Hands Preschool and I couldn't even cuss right. I limped in circles, the pointed toe of my simple black heel curled up like an elf shoe.
Why tonight, of all nights, did this have to happen?
Grandma chuckled. "Why, Lizzie Brown - kickin' and a hollerin'. Thank heaven my grandbaby has spunk. I know you're hacked to Hades, princess. Buttrust me. If I let you out now, you'd wreck all your pretty furniture."
She'd obviously cracked her head on the pavement one too many times. As for ruining my Pottery Barn knockoff furniture, my pathetic excuse for a watchdog would take care of that. Pirate, my Jack Russell Terrier, tended to piddle at the first sign of trouble. I pounded against the door until my hands throbbed. Of all the dumb things to do, I had to let a stranger into my house.
Was I that desperate for affection?
Probably. My adoptive parents, Cliff and Hillary, meant well. But they weren't exactly warm and fuzzy. They didn't even like to touch each other. So, sue me, it felt good - even if it was a little forced - when my biological grandmother hugged me for the first time.
"Levitis cadre. Familio, madre," she chanted like a deranged monk.
"Cut it out! Today is my thirtieth birthday, and I'm going to be late for my party if you don't open this door. Now!" Let's face it. I couldn't go out much on my salary. Happy Hands Preschool wasn't exactly raking in the big bucks. And the one night out of the year where I could count on all of my friends to be dateless and available, this geriatric biker had to take me prisoner.
She rapped her knuckles on her side of the door. As if I were going anywhere. "Lizzie dear? You have ridden a bike before?" she asked, as if I'd taken Hog 101 in high school.
Had she seen my cream-on-white front room? "Yeah, um. In case you haven't noticed, I'm more of an indoor girl." Not that I was against motorcycles, in theory. But if Grandma thought I was going to hoist my rear end up on the back of her hog, a pot hole had knocked something loose in her head.
"Well, Lizzie, the thing is . . . " She paused to find the right words to say whatever it was I was sure I didn't want to hear. She cleared her throat. "Our coven's on the run."
Oh lordy. "You think you're a witch?"
"Am a witch, darlin'. So was your mother. And if I wasn't such a damned good witch, all hell wouldn't be after us. I don't have time to spell it out for you right now, but let me ask: You own any leather chaps?"
Yeah, hanging right next to my white capri pants. "No!"
"Well, that bites," she said. "Life on the road can chafe your thighs."
I gulped. She'd better not even think of kidnapping me. That was it. "Pirate! Watch dog! Attack!" He didn't even have the courage to whimper. Useless beast. Last time I was buying him Silky Bones Pet-sicles.
"Less than one minute to go, by my watch. You were born at precisely 6:43 p.m." She rubbed at the other side of the door like she was comforting a spastic kitten in a crate. "I found you just in time."
"Oh yeah, that makes sense." If I could get her to open the door, I could bolt past her and be free faster than I could say whack job. Our reservations were at 7:30. If she let me out now, I could lock her out of my house, out of my life and, of course, make a mad dash to my flipping birthday party. I rubbed my temples. Oh, to be less desperate for a night of fruity drinks and debauchery.
We were supposed to be heading to Fire, one of Atlanta's newest bistros. I'd slipped into my sapphire party dress and twisted my inky hair into a stylish updo for the occasion. Now I could just feel curls escaping.
"Times like these I wish my hog watch had a second hand." Grandma snorted. "And hey -" She rapped on the door, clanking her rings. "Try to stay clear of anything flammable."
The woman was delusional. And I still couldn't figure out how she'd locked the door from the outside.
"A few of these little beauties . . . " she said to the sound of jars being unscrewed. "You know, I would have been in your life sooner, but we lost track of you. Never would have recognized you now in that Audrey Hepburn-looking getup."
Audrey Hepburn my rear. I bought this dress on clearance last week at Ann Taylor. And what was I doing even listening to fashion advice from a senior citizen in rhinestone-studded skinny jeans? "Why me? Why now?"
"My spell only allowed me to locate you when your power had grown strong enough."
Spell? I groaned under my breath. This is exactly why I hadn't searched out my birth parents. Somehow, I knew my biological family would be a bunch of nut jobs.
And was that incense I smelled?
The pungent aroma of ginger and clove seeped under the door. Oh, no, no, no. "You'd better not be lighting things on fire out there!" Decision made. I mustered a few calming yoga breaths and tried to stuff my hair back into its polished updo. The further I got away from this branch of my family tree, the better.
"Listen, lady." I said as I struggled to bring my temper down a notch. "I mean, Grandma. Listen, Grandma. Let me out of here and you can whip up whatever spell you want."
After I remove you from my house and my life.
I searched under the sink for a weapon and came up with a toilet brush and a bottle of Purple Prairie Clover sanitizing spray.
Was I really going to shoot my own grandmother?
"Open the door and let's talk."
She began to hum. It sounded like a church hymn.
"Grandma? Come on, now. Look. It's not just that people are expecting me. He's going to be there," I said, as I used my thumb to pop the top off the sanitizing spray. "Hot Ryan Harmon from the gym," I explained, as if she was supposed to know who that was. My girlfriends certainly did. "It's taken me months of flirting on the elliptical machines to screw up the courage to ask this guy out, and you are not going to ruin it for me." I deserved to date once in a while, didn't I?
"Lizzie, you stay away from him. That man is a troll."
"And you know because . . . " Crazy and opinionated. What a lovely combination.
I needed this shot at Ryan because - newsflash - I didn't know many single men over the age of four. Hot Ryan Harmon was all I had going.
"Don't take it personally, lover girl." She pulled the door open a crack, her long gray hair swooshing as she shook her head. "Trust me."
I whipped up my sanitizing spray and fired just as she slammed the door.
"Gak!" The air around me erupted with Purple Prairie Clover mist. I breathed in a metallic taste. The room smelled like I'd fallen head first into a vat of wildflowers.
"Ten seconds!"
"Until what?" The flowery spray was going to my head. Bright spots dotted my vision. Stumbling, I smashed my already sore toe into the cabinet under the sink. "Mother Fudrucker!" I braced myself over the sink as my stay-slim rice cake and peanut butter pre-dinner rumbled up the back of my throat.
"Seven seconds!"
Maybe I'd poisoned myself. My tongue thickened and my head felt like it was stuffed with packing peanuts. The room swirled and my legs buckled. A hot flash seared up my spine, through my limbs. I could have sworn I saw my hands melt into the faux marble countertop. Steam bubbled inside me and rose from every pore.
"You are the Exalted Demon Slayer of Dalea. Or at least you will be in four seconds. Three . . . !"
The place reeked of melted plastic and Purple Prairie Clover. I had to be hallucinating. Standing seemed like too much of an effort. My legs gave way and I slid down the door, my head coming to rest near a forgotten smidge of Extra Brite toothpaste on the floor. The room - no, the air itself - gleamed. The black-and-white tile practically sizzled under my body.
I felt something approach from behind. It gave off a funny clicking sound, like high heels on hardwood. And, phew, it smelled like I'd gone from a bad bonfire straight into the outhouse.
My grandma threw open the door. "Now we - "
The look of terror on Grandma's face made me think missing the party was the least of my worries. Her eager greeting melted into a scream. I turned and immediately wished I hadn't. I choked back a shriek while my heart did the samba.
A shrunken, razor-toothed, man, no - thing perched on the top of my toilet bowl. He existed in a swirling gray cloud that clung to his essence like a shroud. A gold ring wound through his flared nostrils until the heavy ball of it rested against rows and rows of spearlike teeth. His hide crinkled, as jagged as desert earth after a drought. It crackled as he tapped a single clawed toe against the white porcelain. Worst of all, his scarlet eyes seemed to have only one target - me.

What People are Saying About This

Michelle Rowen

"A demonically delightful romp! I didn't want it to end!"--(Michelle Rowen, Author of Lady & The Vamp)

Stephanie Rowe

"Hilarious . . . a highly original frolic filled with brilliantly creative characters, countless magical surprises and marvelous plot twists."--(Stephanie Rowe, Author of Sex & the Immortal Bad Boy)

Tate Hallaway

"I tore through this book at a breakneck speed and loved every minute of it. Quirky characters and hilarious situations make The Accidental Demon Slayer a devilishly wicked-fun ride."--(Tate Hallaway, New York Times Bestselling Author of Romancing the Dead)

Customer Reviews

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The Accidental Demon Slayer 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 388 reviews.
Yvette4 More than 1 year ago
So, after reading many positive reviews, I took the bait and got book 1 in this series. I love books with witty, grown-up banter, with characters who are interesting and layered and with a storyline that is new with a different twist. This, luckily, fits all of those categories and more. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Although there are many specifics I could mention, it is much better to just read for yourself. You won't be disappointed. This is pure escape. And I'd definitely read again. For now, I'm on to book 2. I am anxious to see where this story will lead.
kitkat3ny More than 1 year ago
One of the funniest books I¿ve read this year. I loved this book. Lizzie Brown is leading a normal, predictable, boring life until the eve of her 30th b-day. When one knock on her door changes her world forever! A grandma she didn¿t know she had burst into her life immediately casting protection spells from an old smuckers jar, now filled w/ magic and various road kill organs. Only this is no ordinary grandma. No, she¿s a witch who rides a pink Harley and belongs to a coven with other elderly Harley-riding witches, known as the Red Skulls. Lizzie is informed that she is a demon slayer and thus her journey begins. This whole book was a hoot. Between the trailer park hideouts, imps on a death quest, pulling a dozen of black souls out of werewolves, and journeying to hell, the excitement never stops. From start to finish this book was hilarious and I look forward to book two due out in April 2009. I highly recommend this book.

My favorite authors and books are Kim Harrison-Rachel Morgan series, Jenna Black-Morgan Kingsley series what an innovative concept, Ilona Andrews- Kate Daniels series this character is tough tough tough, Caitlin Kittredge- love her Noctune City series, Rachel Caine- Weather Warden series, Larissa Ione- Demonica series, Richelle Mead- Georgina Kinkaid series and Dark Swan Series, Audra and Stella Price- Eververse series, Yasmine Galenorn- Sisters of the Moon series, Vicki Pettersson- Zodiac series; Jackie Keller- Hell on Earth series, T.A. Pratt- Marla Mason series; Mark Henry- Happy Hour of the Damned
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is funny and just an enjoyable read, I was a little cynical and was expecting to groan aloud about cliches but surprisingly I found myself laughing out loud and smiling throughout the entire book. My mother also enjoyed it and she rarely ever reads fiction.
dhaupt More than 1 year ago
In her first of the series, Angie Fox gives us Lizzy who on her 30th birthday finds out the hard way that what she carries in her DNA is a Demon Slayer. This book was a humorous look at some scary situations involving some pretty dastardly characters from the demon realm. The author is a genius with her dialogue and her storytelling is unmatched. Her characters are charming and sexy and scary. There is an underlying love story with a sexy griffon, but that in no way takes away from the story only adds to it. The plot is so unique and original that it's obvious she didn't copy from the many, many other paranormals out there. I would recommend this book to any one who loves a great paranormal read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A light read, lots of action, likeable characters, and a hot love interest...all I need for a cozy afternoon cuddling with my cats. I'll probably get the next book in the series soon!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The female lead whines and rambles making it hard to follow the story. I couldn't really get into the characters. Actions scenes were kinda lame.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
For free i wouldnt buy it though
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This story was well written, but like some of the other reviewers I found myself skim reading most of the book. I think maybe there wasn't enough character back story and development and without it I just couldn't sink into it and invest in the story. I found myself reading not because I cared about the characters or how their relationship finished, but just to see how the plot ended. So with that being said it's free give it a shot it might be a great book for you! It just wasn't for me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
love this humor in this book. and the coven lol . You wont be disappointed reading this book, it has it all, comedy, adventure, lust.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I can discribe this book in two words that i never would have thought went so well together: roadkill magic. There is romance and action and hilarious scenes. Try it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was an ok read. It was well written, but i just couldnt get into it where i would become a devoted fan.
CrystalMarie218 More than 1 year ago
3.5 Stars from me! While I do enjoy funny stories, you know the ones I’m talking about, the ones where you can’t stop laughing while you read reading them. You will have tears running down your face because you are laughing so hard, those types of stories. There is that line that is there, the one where the author can pass the line between being hilarious, and being way too much funny. That is the case with this book. I did enjoy reading it because there were some parts of it that were just hilariously funny and I didn’t want to put the book down because I wanted to find the next funny part. But that’s the only reason why I was reading it at the time, was because I wanted to know the next smartalec thing that was going to be said. I didn’t get lost in the story itself like I normally do with books, I got lost in the funny. Now this story does have some “serious” undertones, when it comes to demons and the rings of hell of course it’s serious time. I was upset that there wasn’t more in the training part of the story, as well as what hell was like. Lizzie’s character didn’t seem like she was that different than other characters out there. Besides the fact that she was a demon slayer, she didn’t stand out in any sense to me. But if you are looking for a great funny read, than this is the book for you to check out! Review provided by Crystal's Many Reviews
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I agree with the other reviewer who said something was lacking but could not figure out exactly what that is. It was entertaining but could not get totally into it. Somethings needed to be explained more like her powers and how they worked. But its free so if you have the time...
SoIReadThisBookToday More than 1 year ago
The Accidental Demon Slayer by Angie Fox 3.5 stars Great comedy and characters, lost a half-star for a rushed romance Sometimes, Amazon’s ‘Freebie” program turns up a jewel. And with The Accidental Demon Slayer by Angie Fox, I am thrilled to say I wound up with a ruby. Hey, I like rubies better than diamonds, so sue me! Come on, who wouldn’t be thrilled to have a kick-butt, 70-something, pink-Harley-riding grandma show up on your doorstep on your 30th birthday to help you kick demon backside? Well, if you happen to be the ‘turning-thirty-preschool-teacher” hiding in the bathroom from said grandma, things can get a bit confusing, but come on. A Pink Harley? Got to love it! And the action only starts there. Strap your hyperactive Jack Russell into a ferret bag across your chest, hop on the back of Grandma’s Hog, (even if you do get carsick in anything faster than a tricycle) and take off for the Red Skull Hog Ridin’ Grannies biker bar, with demons in pursuit. What happens after had me grinning like a crazed biker granny myself, as Lizzie and Grandma kick fanny and take names across the American South – and a good portion of Hell. This is the first time I had heard of Angie Fox, and I am thrilled to say it won’t be the last of her books that I intend to roll around in like a dog in road kill (hey, you will get the reference when you read the book – and DO read the book!) Her whole Accidental Demon Slayer series (two three-volume sets) is already on my Nook and set up to read. I also grabbed the first in her Monster Mash series (the 3063rd M.A.S.H. unit, location – limbo). Angie has a wicked sense of humour, a brilliant touch with her characters, and her writing shows great pace and timing. In Accidental there is, of course, a ‘love interest’, and as usual said romantic twist rolls forward much too quickly for reality, but I have given up on the idea that any book with romance included as part of the plot isn’t going to include rolling around in the sack and declaring undying love within the first two days of meeting. Meh. At least in Angie’s book, Lizzie isn’t totally spineless. She stands up to betrayal and kicks it in the cohones. And the betrayer, too. So, no harm, no foul as they say. I admit, I had to laugh at some of the low-star reviews. Come on, people! This is fantasy!!! I think that, sometimes, people get so wrapped up in their expectations, whether they be expectations of “realism” or expectations based upon what other writers do (“familiars” and whatnot) that they can’t just sit back, relax, and enjoy something new. It seems that some people wanted formula – shapeshifters shifting every two seconds, ‘my dog is my familiar’, I just suddenly know how to do everything magical even though my life has been totally mundane forever. Puh. Get over it, sit down, and read the book for what it is, a comedy that takes the old formulas and turns them on their head. Get over it! Overall, Angie goes in my ‘must read when I am reading just for myself’ pile. She made me laugh, and her story was a pure, guilty pleasure. What more can I ask? Recommended.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Good book..... This isnt a dating site
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It was ok.
DaniK274 More than 1 year ago
This book was hysterical! I absolutely loved the adventures of Lizzy, her grandmother, Demitri and Lizzy's dog Pirate. I recommend it to everyone.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved the witty dialogue and unique story line...Just bought the next two in the series!
cracked-potter More than 1 year ago
A very enjoyable read. Off the beaten track. Humorous and light. It was fun and the characters were definately interesting! I hope the author has another book in the works. I will definately recommend this to others.
KellieRVA More than 1 year ago
The book had a few funny parts but was otherwise hard to get through. I found my self skimming instead of reading just to get it over with. The same goes for the rest of the series.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was a real page turner. It was funny, witty, sexy, and exciting.
Anonymous 30 days ago
TheBooknerd on LibraryThing 8 months ago
I had been looking forward to reading this for a long time, so I was quite annoyed by how irritating this book turned out to be. Unlikable characters and a frustrating plot make this book one to skip.
averitasm on LibraryThing 8 months ago
Fast, Funny read with a very new unique look to a paranormal/romance, I like her characters and the biker grandma, not to mention a hunky male lead. I would say grab this and the next one and read them.
jjmachshev on LibraryThing 8 months ago
OK. Well, let's see if I can find something positive to say about this book. Ummm, hmmm, oh yeah! The dog is hilarious and the cover is kind of cute. That's it. Now I'll try to explain why I didn't like or enjoy this book.I don't mind occasionally suspending reality. I do mind a total absence of reality, page after page after page. The entire story takes place in 3 or 4 days and in that time span, the heroine does a 180 on every character trait and behavior. Uh, huh. The sex in this 'paranormal romance' consisted of one scene that didn't even register on the heat scale. I truly couldn't follow their relationship because it was so chaotically written I was actually surprised that they even HAD sex. And the supporting cast...ok, I was born and raised in the south, so don't jump on me for this comment, BUT...would you believe a Harley-riding, skinny jeans wearing, overly made-up witch of a Grandma whose coven consists of biker grandmas who use 'roadkill' in their magic, their safehouses are an abandoned Shoney's, a roadside biker bar, and a deserted riverboat? Um, me neither. It sounds like it should be really funny...but I just found it ridiculous. Bummer.