What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause?
What if we systematically misunderstand that cause?
And what if, as a result, we systematically perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
From the authors of Leadership and Self-Deception comes an international bestseller that instills hope and inspires reconciliation. Through a moving story of parents who are struggling with their own children and with problems that have come to consume their lives, we learn from once-bitter enemies the way to transform personal, professional, and global conflicts, even when war is upon us.
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About the Author
The Arbinger Institute is an international training and consulting firm that is recognized as a world leader in the areas of leadership, team building, conflict resolution, crisis management, culture change, and culture integration. Arbinger’s clients range from individuals who are seeking help in their lives to many of the largest companies and governmental institutions in the world.
Table of Contents
Part I The Heart of Peace
1 Enemies in the Desert
2 Deeper Matters
3 Peace in Wartime
4 Beneath Behavior
5 The Pattern of Conflict
7 The Right Thing and the Right Way
Part II From Peace to War
9 The Beginning of an Idea
10 Choosing War
11 A Need for War
12 Germs of Warfare
13 More Germ Warfare
14 The Path to War
Part III From War to Peace
16 A Gift in Wartime
17 Marching Bootless
19 Locating the Peace Within
20 Finding Outward Peace
Part IV Spreading Peace
22 A Strategy of Peace
24 Peace on Mount Moriah
Exploring the Arbinger Diagrams
Going Deeper: The Four Styles of Justification
Going Deeper: Getting Out of the Box
About the Arbinger Institute
How to Become Involved with Arbinger Social Partners and the Reconciliation Project
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I read this series of books for work but have really learned a lot about me. This book really brings it all together and helps accomplish the goals we have been looking for.
Using the frame of parents brought together to leave their kids at a camp for troubled teens, this book explores the causes of conflict and offers solutions. The ideas are presented in a number of formats so learners of all kinds can find something for them. The story format, the illustrations, the outlined steps - all are different ways of getting to the basic message of learning to see others as people with value and then learning to build relationships. It is an intriguing idea and one that when practiced, can certainly make a difference.
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict always seemed to me to be the hardest to resolve. And then this book came along talking about how an Israeli and a Palestinian work together to bring peace in the heart of many people.Basically their story is simple. You can do anything in life in one of two ways. Either you do them with your heart at peace or with your heart at war. In the first case you see others as people who have feelings, expectations, fears just like you. You will be empathic and will focus on building a relationship. In the second case others will be like objects to you. As such they become your target of blame, gossip and justification. Having a heart at peace does not mean that you are soft. With a peaceful heart you can even wage war! The difference being that human value is at the core of any action.Why would you decide to be at war with yourself? Because somewhere in the past you made a decision not to honour a desire. Maybe you wanted to start your own business but thought you didn't have it in you. From then on you will need to justify to yourself why you did not act on your wish. And this has an influence on how you see the world and others. Your heart is at war.Fortunately they also say how peace is attained. That is why the Arbinger Institute is spread all over the world growing at a steady pace. The most important is realizing when your heart is at war, stepping out of that framework and considering how you can add to more peace in the given situation. And this is always followed by action.
I recommend this as a leadership required reading.
I'm not sure there is a more important volume in print today. The human condition being what it is, this book is the manual for ourselves and all those with whom we interact.
Seeking wisdom? The kind that empowers you to face the wars in your life? Short of the Bible, I haven't read anything this significant and enlightening for a very long time. It stands head and shoulders above most self-help books in regards to applications to relationships on every level, while weaving a most beguiling story. Do yourself a favor, add this to your top 10 list.