Just because the undead’s taste buds are atrophying doesn’t mean yours have to!
You duck into the safest-looking abandoned house you can find and hold your breath as you listen for the approaching zombie horde you’ve been running from all day. You hear a gurgling sound. Is it the undead? Noit’s your stomach.
When the zombie apocalypse tears down life and society as we know it, it will mean no more take out, no more brightly lit, immaculately organized aisles of food just waiting to be plucked effortlessly off the shelves. No more trips down to the local farmers’ market. No more microwaved meals in front of the TV or intimate dinner parties. No, when the undead rise, eating will be hard, and doing it successfully will become an art.
The Art of Eating through the Zombie Apocalypse is a cookbook and culinary field guide for the busy zpoc survivor. With more than 80 recipes (from Overnight of the Living Dead French Toast and It’s Not Easy Growing Greens Salad to Down & Out Sauerkraut, Honey & Blackberry Mead, and Twinkie Trifle), scads of gastronomic survival tips, and dozens of diagrams and illustrations that help you scavenge, forage, and improvise your way to an artful post-apocalypse meal. The Art of Eating is the ideal handbook for efficient food sourcing and inventive meal preparation in the event of an undead uprising.
Whether you decide to hole up in your own home or bug out into the wilderness, whether you prefer to scavenge the dregs of society or try your hand at apocalyptic agriculture, and regardless of your level of skill or preparation, The Art of Eating will help you navigate the wasteland and make the most of what you eat.
|Publisher:||BenBella Books, Inc.|
|Product dimensions:||5.90(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)|
About the Author
Lauren was infected with a rare strain of undead enthusiasm over a decade ago while fighting off the zombie menace of Raccoon City in the original Resident Evil. From video games to comic books, zombie walks to online communities, there are few corners of the culture she has not explored. And she’s got a decent zed t-shirt collection, to boot.
When not nerding out about zombies, space, or Adventure Time, Lauren works in the world of food as a professional cook and writer. Since completing her culinary training at Toronto's George Brown Chef School in 2008 she has done a variety of work—from restaurant cooking to cheesemongering, online sales to catering, teaching cooking classes to writing for print and online media. She completed research and course development work at George Brown examining the career motivations, ambitions, and expectations of students with the aim of better understanding low female representation at the executive level of professional kitchens.
After eating up all the good bits of Toronto, Lauren followed a trail of crumbs to Brooklyn, where she is cooking, eating, writing, and teaching happily.
Read an Excerpt
Welcome to the Zombie Apocalypse
“The what-ifs and should-haves will eat your brain.”
Zombies, ghouls, biters, walkers, geeks, lamebrains, skels, rotters, zekes, or, as our Canadian friends like to call them, zeds. Their unrelenting shamble into pop culture ubiquity, from television to video games to fan conventions to literature, may have lulled you into a false sense of security, but don’t be fooled! The undead do pose a serious (and downright terrifying) threat to human existence. While it may be all fun and brrraaaaaiiiinnnns for the general public, when the zombie apocalypse hits, our very way of life will come to an end.
If you are reading this, it means that you are one of the few people on this planet being proactive about zombie apocalypse preparedness. Good for you. Or, if you have acquired or found this book during the apocalypse, congratulations on still being alive.
I don’t think I need to impress upon you the fact that the zombie apocalypse (often referred to in survivalist circles as the zpoc, or simply ZA) is no joke. Aside from the complete annihilation of societal conventions as we know them, we are talking about the end of chorizo, chocolate bars, and tacos here. Once civilization collapses, you will probably never eat another glazed donut. Or a really good piece of French cheese, or even a banana, for that matter.
There will be no more late-night convenience store runs for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a bag of Spicy Doritos, or fanciful meals fully embracing the locavore movement with sautéed ramps nestled atop your hormone- and antibiotic-free roast chicken breast. There will be no more GrubHub pizza delivery, and no more freshly baked cookies coming out of the oven. There will be no more pickling in your tiny Brooklyn apartment, or watching Adult Swim while stuffing your face with a box of Wheat Thins because that’s all you found in the pantry.
In fact, if you ever see your local convenience store clerk again, he will probably want to rip your entrails out. The friendly farmer you buy heirloom tomatoes from? She’ll go straight for the jugular. And if you happen to run across your pizza delivery guy in the street, he’s likely to be shambling along with his pizza bags tangled and knotted around his partially severed limbs, bike dragging behind him as he moans after you with what you imagine sounds like vague recognition (better hope he doesn’t remember where you live).
Face it, life as you know it will cease to be. And no matter what kind of eater you arewhether a “foodie” who tweets from the hottest restaurant openings, a pimply-faced video game addict subsisting on Yoo-hoo and Slim Jims in your parents’ basement, or even a regular joe who doesn’t think much about what you eat because to you, it’s just foodthe fact is we’ll all still have to eat.
To be sure, your main objective in surviving the zpoc will be to not become a zombie. The zombie diet is not all that appetizing (and frankly pretty monotonous) anyway, composed of widely varying quantities and qualities of human flesh and organs. It’s true, the initial glut of zombie food would be (by zombie standards) pretty tasty: the soft, underused flesh of the inactive and obese, with plenty of fat surrounding the organs for extra flavor and a better mouthfeel. But as that initial fiesta runs dry, all that the undead will be left with are the tough, athletic types who were fortunate enough to make it through the initial outbreak. I, for one, will pass.
But I digress. It would be naive to think that the zpoc will be a cakewalk. The bulk of one’s attention, energy, and day-to-day activity will be consumed by a struggle for survivalthat is, staying one step ahead of the undead hordes roaming the wasteland (a term we use affectionately for the decaying remains of human civilization) while meeting basic requirements for water, nourishment, and shelter. That alone will be monstrously hard. How to get your grubby survivor paws on food and water, how to preserve it, how to avoid wasting itthese questions will take up a significant portion of your time and efforts. It is my hope that The Art of Eating through the Zombie Apocalypse will help you surmount these challenges, tastefully.
The U.S. Army learned long ago, when they began developing shelf-stable complete meals for soldiers that could be heated without access to fire (also known as MREs; see Army Rations: Having Fun with MREs), that there is no underestimating the morale-boosting power of a hot, well-balanced meal. A good meal can truly bring you back from the brink of succumbing to the horde. After all, it was Napoleon who said, “An army marches on its stomach.” And at the end of the day, aren’t we all just foot soldiers in the war against the undead? The simple pleasure of warm and enjoyable food, given even a little consideration and TLC during preparation, can help remind us that not all pleasures in life have been devoured by the biters.
Know that the road ahead is not filled with the most delicious meals you have ever eaten. You will be forced to hunt, prepare, and eat things you might never have imagined you ever would. But I promise, it will not be all squirrel and Spam, and with a little old-fashioned ingenuity and creativity, you can find pleasure in eating during the zombie apocalypse.
Just because the undead’s taste buds are atrophying, doesn’t mean yours need to.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
(Have not read it yet tho so dont put all your faith in this reviews stars)
I received this copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review This is a book I have been waiting for since at least the 1970’s when, as a teenager, I first saw “The Survivors” on TV (the original, not the second rate remake of 2010). Not a zombie apocalypse, but an apocalypse nevertheless – with the total breakdown of civilisation and a pressing need to fend for oneself without the benefits of modern technology. Of course, zombies would make everything worse. This book tells you how to cope with any such apocalypse. It concentrates on feeding yourself – in the short and the long term. Usually, when I review a cookbook, I try out a number of the recipes, but with this one, I decided that delicacies such as the Mealworm Fried Rice can wait until the apocalypse actually happens. The recipes are not really the highlight of the book, the real joys are the chapters on how to obtain your food (bringing out your inner hunter-gatherer) how to prepare it, how to cook it (on self-constructed stoves), how to grow it, and how to preserve it. Many of the things fully outlined in the book would be just as useful pre-apocalypse. I have made lots of jam before, but never seen the method as well explained as here. I fully intend to try out the canning (no, you don’t need tin cans), fermenting and pickling – but using all the modcons that are still available. I would love to construct a root cellar, but feel that my husband would object to digging up the lawn, so – until the apocalypse – will have to content myself with the fridge and freezer. The gardening tips are also worth looking at – such as how to save seeds for the next year. And did you know that if you stick the chopped off root ends of lettuces into a saucer of water, that they will regrow? I didn’t believe it, but a 1 inch stub of little gem has grown leaves about 3 inches high on our window sill! The book is full of useful tips like that, and even if you don’t use them, the book makes a wonderful talking point with friends, and encourages you to look at the world around you in many new and different ways. I have recommended, and will continue to recommend, this book to everyone I meet. Some may think I am mad, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to be prepared. And with this book in your pocket, you will be welcome into any survivor group, even if your zombie fighting skills are not up to much. A book for any apocalypse, that is also useful for life in the pre-apocalyptic world