The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (Sbcw): She Is Your Partner Not Your Puppet
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The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (Sbcw): She Is Your Partner Not Your Puppet
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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781468530377 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | AuthorHouse |
| Publication date: | 01/26/2012 |
| Pages: | 56 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.13(d) |
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The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (SBCW)
She Is Your Partner Not Your PuppetBy James "CJ" Barnes Jr.
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 James "CJ" Barnes JrAll right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-3037-7
Chapter One
Part 1 We As Men Must Step Up
Let me get straight to the point our young men suffer due to the lack of Godly Men. If our young males grow up without seeing a Man of God early in their lives, I believe they will suffer for it. It takes one Man in the family to stand up and say I had enough of this generational curse and it stops here. We as Men must take the challenge to be an image of Christ for our male population. It starts with childhood; I can't express the importance of how childhood impacts a child's future growth. If a child is brought up where they see their fathers being drunk all the time or never home, beating women, then our young males will pick up those behaviors quick and it stays with them. It is almost subliminal; it affects them mentally and spiritually. We have to plant positive seeds in our young men at an early age they will have a solid foundation that is geared toward knowing our Gracious Father. For all the fathers out there, know that you will be held accountable for all the things you do so why not do the right thing through Jesus Christ. As men let us teach our children to be doers of the Word and let us praise God before our children. Let our young males see strong men praise God and lead prayer at the dinner table. Let our young males see our older Men shout before the Lord boldly and lift holy hands to Jesus. These are the things that must be instilled in our youth; teaching them about their Father Jesus. The Lord has blessed me to own a group home 24-7 facility geared towards young males that have high risk behaviors that need guidance to turn their lives around in the right direction. In dealing with these young males 90% of them don't have a father figure in their lives, seeing this hurts me so much. If we had more Godly Men that were at home teaching their children the word of God our crime rates would be lower along with gang activity! A child only joins a gang because they lack a full family atmosphere.
I am challenging all men to take the lead role of the home through the guidance of Jesus Christ, for we are nothing without Him. Our young men are use to seeing women praise God, lead prayers at the table or anywhere else, or think only woman can raise their hands to praise God. I am definitely not saying that is wrong but I would love to see more men accepting their roles as head of the house hold.
Definition Of Head Of Household- The Scripture Way.
Let's take a look at Ephesians 5:23-24(23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.) Right now I want to focus on verse 23 which Paul states that the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
As men, we must first know that being the head of household you must have Jesus Christ in your life for direction. Being the head of house comes with a lot of responsibilities plus God will hold you accountable for your actions so it is best to establish a relationship with God. I believe as men we take that scripture that Paul says that we are head of household (Eph5:23) and we run with it with our own interpretation. It doesn't mean that I will have my wife wait for me on hand and foot or treat her any kind of way. Head of household jumps out to me as being in tune with Jesus, knowing I am nothing without Him, going to war for my family on my knees praying, fasting, having self control, staying in the Bible, leading my family in prayer at the dinner table, putting my wife and kids before me, letting God use me as a vessel when in time of encouraging, being wise through Jesus Christ, having discernment, staying humble before the Lord, treating my wife like the queen she is, accepting when I am wrong, having forgiveness in my heart, being a helpmate around the house, washing dishes, taking care of the kids to give my wife rest, rubbing your wife feet, scratching her back, making sure you make your wife feel she is the only women in your life, displaying great communication, taking care of your wife when she is sick, thanking her constantly for who she is and praising God for what he has united as one. Do these things and you will have a healthy marriage.
I am still learning and sometimes I learn the hard way with my wife. No matter what you do you can't change your wife into who you want her to be. Only God can change her. We as men must accept our responsibility and control what we do as head of household so it can trickle down to our better half as they would say. I tried and tried to change my wife to the way I want her to be. Let me tell you IT DON'T WORK that way. A word that will help a marriage go a long way is compromising. But what I can do is to treat her with kindness and love regardless of how sometimes she treats me. We as men have to set the tone. We are the leader and our leadership will reflect on our wives. "Attitudes reflect leadership". I know it is not easy but we must strive for the best. Fellas when you play sports for example basketball. Do you shoot to miss or make. I know when I play I shoot to make every shot but I do miss sometimes. You see we are not perfect but God judges our heart and he knows our intentions. Even though I may miss the shot, in my heart I shot the ball to make it and if I miss I believe the next one is going in. If we take that same mentality on the court and bring it into our household divorce rates would go down because we are striving everyday to make it work.
Prayer: Fellas let us touch and agree because in Matthew 18:20 Jesus says for where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. Lets Pray" Father I stand before you boldly as A Man of God and ask you to send your Holy Spirit to teach me to be the Man of God you called me to be. Father teach me how to be the head of my household as You are Head of the Church. Show me through your Spirit the correct way to love my Wife name_. Discipline me O Father and convict me when I am wrong .Continue to humble me O Lord teaching me I am nothing without you. I decree and declare I will be that Man of God you called me to be and lead my family through you O Lord. My heart cries out to you and only you. I will praise you but most importantly I will worship you no matter what the situation is because with you Father all things are possible. Bless my marriage Lord let us not lose sight of You because without you there is no us. Father forgive me for the wrong I have done as I will forgive those who have done wrong to me. I give all my problems to you O Lord knowing that I can't fix them but with Your Help I can. Father God give me the strength to continue to fight the good fight for you, even though it may seem like nothing is happening. Give me knowledge that no matter what it may seem like in the natural I must trust you in the Spiritual Realm. For faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Every day I pledge to walk behind you as I follow your Foot steps. I can't lead without your guidance or my marriage will fail. You are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, with you leading me who else do I need. I will stand on your Word and your Word only. I will ask you for understanding of the scriptures and lean not to my own understanding. I am thanking you in advance for a Successful Marriage. I know you are an ABLE GOD. AMEN.
Part 2 What Defines A Strong Black Christian Woman
Hmm..........from just living and observing I will tell you what a SBCW is. She is a woman that puts God first in everything she does. She is confident in who she is and has a high self esteem through Jesus. Will quickly say to a man I don't need you because I got Jesus. Doesn't expect less and strives for the very best. She CANT STAND A LYING MAN. She will hold that man to be a man of his word. (Meaning if you tell me you are going do something then you better follow through). She can be independent and she doesn't have time to play games with immature men or boys. She will pray at any given time or place. She will be a protector of her kids. I repeat you don't mess with a SBCW's kids, that's a no no!
She will give advice to those who are in need through Jesus Christ guidance. She will admit when she is wrong, knowing she is not perfect. If married she will pray for her husband and family consistently. She will listen to her husband and then tell God to help her submit to her husband because it is hard well very very hard.lol.... She is honest and is a leader. She gives her heart and soul to Jesus so He can lead her. She wants a Strong Christian Man that will put God first in everything. She thanks Jesus for sending her a Man that is not afraid to love the Lord and put Him first. She knows it takes three for a marriage to work, God, husband and wife. She knows she must support and have her husband's back. She knows that she must keep her problems within her marriage and not discuss them with her family or friends; instead she gives her problems to Jesus.
She prays constantly for God to change her to the way He wants her to be. Now, if she is not married she can detect a man that is wrong for her within seconds. In other words men, you won't be able to get her with just your looks or cheap lines. She will sniff out a fake and tell him he must come correct. You will not approach her or get her attention with making whistle noises, or saying A, nor impress her with what you have. She has already prayed to God for him to send her the right man. She will stop you in the middle of your sentence and say no thank you or sorry I am not interested. She has discernment fellas. She is turned off the second a man displays gay or homosexual tendencies. She has the triple threat of the S. She is single, saved, and sanctified.
Prayer for Married Women to pray:
Lord, I come to you as humbly as I know how seeking your wisdom and truth. Lord, you made man and you know the very heart of man. You know the inner workings and the intentions. Lord, give me your wisdom, so I can think before I act. Give me your peace, so I can think before I speak. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to anger and slow to speak. Help me to learn the inner workings and intentions of my husband. Help me to submit to him so my actions may be pleasing in your sight. Mold me into the woman you desire me to be. I am not my own, but your humble servant seeking to do your will. As you change me in turn change my husband as well. Help him so he can understand and know how You designed me. Let him learn my inner workings and intentions. Teach us both the true meaning of submission. Let us both show love and respect toward each other, so we can become a reflection of Your Son Jesus Christ. Let us walk as one, make decisions as one, and serve you as one. I come against the spirit of confusion and all of its works. I loose the spirit of unity, peace and love in my husband, me, and in our home. I seal this prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
SBW vs. SBCW
I have told you what my perception of a SBCW is and now I will tell you the difference of a woman who calls herself a SBW, Strong Black Woman and a SBCW, Strong Black Christian Woman. People might disagree with me but let's remember our Walk with Christ is the most important aspect of our life.
A SBW depends on herself while a SBCW depends on Jesus. A SBW will find ways to figure out things on her own while a SBCW will get on her knees and pray to God for guidance. A SBW thinks she did it while a SBCW gives God the Glory. A SBW can be stubborn while a SBCW is humble. A SBW reacts without thinking, wishing she could take back what she has said or done while a SBCW is quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. A SBW believes she has street smarts while a SBCW uses God's wisdom. A SBW believes she deserves the best in life while a SBCW knows the price that comes along of being a believer in Jesus. A SBW concentrates on her career and how she can move up while a SBCW would sacrifice just to do God's will. A SBW chases money while a SBCW chases favor, the favor of God. A SBW has little patience while a SBCW waits patiently on God.
I believe we need more women to emphasize the importance of being a Strong Black Christian Woman than just being a Strong Black Woman. The main difference is that the SBCW puts God first in everything she does. To me being a SBCW is under the influence and guidance of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. SBCW should stand apart from women who classify themselves as SBW because majority of SBW have a mentality of I as in I can do it by myself. They give the glory to themselves when ALL OF THE GLORY BELONGS TO JESUS. I would like to see more women put the "C" Christian in the phrase Strong Black Woman.
Prayer:
I want ALL OF WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME. Give me guidance of how I can be an image of you to my fellow sisters in Christ to stand apart from the world. Let the Christian in me shine and be a light to those who are lost and need guidance. I am a Strong Black Christian Woman who submits to Jesus Christ in everything. Continue to humble me reminding me every day I am nothing I repeat nothing without You Father God. I love you Lord and I will Praise you and worship you when times seem to be hard. Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9) I will continue to stand on Your Word knowing it is You who saved me. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I pray for the women who are lost. Take the blinders off their eyes and have mercy on their soul. Show Your grace and love to them. Give them understanding and let them lean unto you for guidance. I pray that every lost soul be found by you Jesus. That You will send Your angels to cover those who are lost and continue to protect your children. For I am a Strong Black Christian Woman standing in the need of prayer on my knees submitting myself to you. I am a Strong Black Christian Woman who stands in the gap for those women who are lost and need you. In name of Christ Jesus bless those who seek you and bless those who need you. Amen
Part 3 How To Have A Successful Marriage With A Sbcw
Seeing and listening to other problems I can tell you straight off that in order for your marriage to work you must put God First. To have a successful marriage the two of you have to become one as flesh. The only way to do that is to put God first. Let's look at Genesis 2:22-24, Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, " This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Verse 24 plays a big factor in Marriages. I must break it down. First, it states that a man shall leave his father and mother. Now for you momma boys don't get offended. Hey, I am one too but I was blessed to have a mother that taught me right from wrong through Jesus Christ. This clearly means now that you are married and your mother becomes second. Yes I said it, momma come second. Your wife now becomes number one. This doesn't mean abandoning your mother, but your household now becomes first priority, so you take care of home before you take care of anything else. Let me enlighten you on the small things for those who are married. It's the small things that count and add up. For example, unless your mother is handicap or there is a medical reason, when you go out in a situation where it's you, your mother, and your wife, your mother should sit in the back. It may seem simple but it goes a mighty long way. If your mother is in a bind and you haven't taken care of home first, momma got to wait. This may seem hard especially for those who mothers have taken great care of their kids but a true Christian mother would tell his son make sure home is taken care of first because God's got my back.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (SBCW) by James "CJ" Barnes Jr. Copyright © 2012 by James "CJ" Barnes Jr. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Contents
Dedication....................viiIntroduction....................ix
Part 1 We As Men Must Step Up....................1
Definition Of Head Of Household- The Scripture Way....................3
Part 2 What Defines A Strong Black Christian Woman....................7
SBW vs. SBCW....................10
Part 3 How To Have A Successful Marriage With A Sbcw....................13
Scriptures Pertaining To Marriage....................16
Part 4 I Am Not Your Puppet But Your Partner....................27
Part 5 Guide For Handling A Sbcw And In Marriage....................33
Appendix Some Scriptures Pertaining To Marriage....................37