The Caregiving Wife's Handbook: Caring for Your Seriously Ill Husband, Caring for Yourself

The Caregiving Wife's Handbook: Caring for Your Seriously Ill Husband, Caring for Yourself

by Diana B. Denholm

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780897936057
Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
Publication date: 01/03/2012
Pages: 168
Sales rank: 296,174
Product dimensions: 5.52(w) x 8.54(h) x 0.52(d)

About the Author


Diana Denholm, PhD, LMHC, holds a doctorate in psychology and became a board certified medical psychotherapist following her doctoral studies at the University of Connecticut. She has been a practicing therapist for over thirty years and while working with clients originated and developed the methods taught in this book. Diana has been a pioneer in converting esoteric methods into practical and easily understood tools. She has successfully used these methods in her work with her many clients and for herself as the primary caregiver during the 11 1/2 years of her late-husband’s illness. Diana lives in West Palm Beach, FL.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments x

Introduction: What's Happening to My Life? 1

My Story 5

What You Can Expect from This Book 6

1 Examining Our Issues 8

Prompts to Start Planning 11

Responses from the Group 13

2 Organizing Answers and Choosing Discussion Topics 30

Category A Things I Want to Say but Don't Expect a Response To 32

Category B Things I Want to Say but Won't, Because It Won't Make a Difference 33

Category C Things I Want to Say but Should Only Share with a Friend 35

Category D Things I Really Need to Talk About, Know About, Have Resolved, or Make a Decision About 37

3 Communication Tools 101 (or Shall I Say, 9-1-1) 41

Keep Your Viewpoint While Your Husband and Others Keep Theirs, Yet Still Get What You Want 42

Change a Person's Behavior, Whether or Not They Change Their Opinion 43

Changing Your Behavior May Make It Unnecessary for Other People to Change Theirs 44

Encouraging Your Husband to Say More 45

Pitfalls to Avoid 46

Speaking His Language 47

Summary of Communication Tools 47

4 Talk Your Way to Understandings 49

What If He Refuses to Meet? 52

What If I Refuse to Meet? 53

The Setting for Your Discussion 54

Preparing for the Discussion 55

The Discussion 57

Closing the Discussion and Creating Understandings 58

Sample Understandings 60

5 Comprehending Our Emotions-Life in the Guilt Factory 69

The Big C 72

Emotional Fine-Line Issues 76

The Stress of Living Grief 87

Sometimes Our Emotions Surprise Us 88

I'm So Tired of Being the "Man"! 89

Emotions and Words 89

My Way Versus His Way 90

Ultimately It Is His Disease 93

6 Practical Issues 96

Practical Fine-Line Issues 97

7 Social and Familial issues 128

Whose Business Is It, Anyway? 129

Everyone Has an Opinion 132

The Hottest Button 133

When Someone Asks 135

Public Face with Private Pain 137

Visitors and Privacy 141

Ceremonies and Services 146

8 Self-Care 151

Manufacture Time 156

Stop Energy Drains 157

The Delicate Topics-Love, Sex, Intimacy, and Affairs 157

Staying Awake When Trauma Becomes Normal 160

"Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar" 161

Health Lessons I Learned from My Husband 161

9 50 Do's and Don'ts 163

10 Decisions, Transitions, and Discoveries 169

Resources 175

Index 189

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The Caregiving Wife's Handbook: Caring for Your Seriously Ill Husband, Caring for Yourself 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
this is a no nonsense, caring, easy to read guide for the wife who is about to burnout or run away .reminds me to take care of myself.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was so basic; a waste for anyone who has had any experience in communicating with people. The sample dialogues given were condescending. This material was in all the "self-help" books that came out in the 80's and 90's. There was also nothing in there that applied to a caregiver who is dealing with Alzheimer's. OK if you have read nothing else about how to communicate with people in general.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book should be in eBook version. Then a caregiver will always have it with her! This book is excellent because because the author gets into the nitty gritty of how to speak and exchange views with the care receiver. I found the conversational dialogues very useful. Also the reasons behind the conversational suggestions. The author is a trained professional and she also had the experience of caregiving herself. This book is well worth reading if you are the primary caregiver.
KRNY More than 1 year ago
This book is a Godsend. It is absolutely the best book of it's kind that i've found, and i've read quite a few. It felt like someone looked into my soul and wrote down what i was thinking and feeling. Thank you to Diana Denholm for the thousands of people she must have helped by writing this insightful and thoughtful book. Karen Richardson