The Change Your Life Book

by Bill O'Hanlon

Overview

Making dramatic life changes can be difficult. The true secret to life-long transformation, according to certified professional counselor Bill O'Hanlon, is to take baby steps; small, subtle changes will yield profound and lasting results when added together. In this concise book, O'Hanlon shares his simple formula for making the small changes that lead to big shifts: Change the Doing, Change the Viewing, and Change the Setting. Each simple concept is illustrated with examples of everyday challenges with easy-to-implement experiments for affecting transformation, as in this example from "Change the Viewing":

Don't expect, be happy: Ken Keyes developed a simple strategy to be happy: Expect everyone and everything to be exactly as it is. When you are upset, he suggests, it is only because your expectations haven't been fulfilled and you are demanding that reality be as you want it to be, rather than how it is. So expect things to be as they are, and you'll be happy.

For the next day or so, every time something happens within you or out in the world that could upset you, shift into expecting it to be exactly as it is. Tell yourself it is exactly as it is supposed to be.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of more than thirty books, O'Hanlon understands that it often takes only simple adjustments to create a better life. With a therapist's keen understanding of what works, O'Hanlon offers straightforward advice that is reminiscent of chatting with a dear friend for achieving simple yet significant life changes.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780757316319
Publisher:	Health Communications, Incorporated
Publication date:	05/01/2012
Pages:	144
Product dimensions:	5.00(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.40(d)

About the Author

Bill O'Hanlon, M.S., LMFT, has authored or coauthored thirty books, including Quick Steps to Resolving Trauma, A Guide to Trance Land, Pathways to Spirituality, Change 101, and Thriving Through Crisis, which won a Books for a Better Life Award. His books have been translated into fifteen languages. He has appeared on a variety of radio and television programs including Oprah and Today. A top-rated presenter at many national conferences since 1977, Bill has given more than 1,500 talks around the world and was selected as the Outstanding Mental Health Educator of the Year in 2001 by the New England Educational Institute. Bill is a Licensed Mental Health Professional, Certified Professional Counselor and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. He is a clinical member of AAMFT (and winner of the 2003 New Mexico AMFT Distinguished Service Award), certified by the National Board of Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists, and a Fellow and a Board Member of the American Psychotherapy Association, by whom he was recognized for outstanding dedication and commitment to the mental health field in 2008. He is known for his storytelling, irreverent humor, clear and accessible style, and his boundless enthusiasm for whatever he is doing.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part 1 Change the Doing Tips

Tip 1 Change the Mode of Expression 7

Tip 2 Externalize Problems or Haunting Memories 9

Tip 3 Baby Steps, Bob, Baby Steps 11

Tip 4 The Expiration-Dated Box 13

Tip 5 Stop Doing Something 15

Tip 6 Stretch Your Brain 17

Tip 7 Enjoy Your Food 19

Tip 8 Your "Not-to-Do" List 22

Tip 9 Silence Can Be Golden 24

Tip 10 Don't Be Yourself 26

Tip 11 The Hard Thing 28

Tip 12 One Drawer, at a Time 30

Tip 13 Completion Brings Energy 32

Tip 14 The Value of Doing Nothing 35

Tip 15 Going Ape in Your Relationship 37

Tip 16 Getting Up on the Right Side of the Bed 39

Tip 17 Life Is Full of Letting Go (or Not) 41

Tip 18 The Hard Conversation 43

Tip 19 Chip Away at Unhelpful and Limiting Habits 45

Tip 20 Doggedly Determined 47

Tip 21 The Nicest "No" 50

Tip 22 Deliberate Mediocrity 53

Tip 23 If You Fail on Your Face 55

Tip 24 The Power of "and" 57

Tip 25 From Tense to Getting the Tenses Right 59

Tip 26 Make a List and Check It Twice 61

Tip 27 The Opposite 63

Tip 28 Reclaiming Territory from Fear 66

Part 2 Change the Viewing Tips

Tip 1 Change Perspectives 75

Tip 2 Notice or Remember Something Different or Differently 77

Tip 3 Ask Different Questions 80

Tip 4 Finding the Blessings in the Pain or the Problem 83

Tip 5 You Are the Director 85

Tip 6 Don't Expect; Be Happy 87

Tip 7 Exhaust Your Inner Critic 89

Tip 8 Where Do You Want to Put Your Energy? 92

Tip 9 Use Others as Positive or Negative Models 94

Tip 10 Imagine You Have No Free Will 97

Tip 11 Reorient to Gratitude 99

Tip 12 Be Mindful in Your Relationships 101

Tip 13 I Take Exception 103

Tip 14 You Are Not the Target 105

Tip 15 Dissolving Upsets 107

Tip 16 Remember to Forget 110

Tip 17 Take Your Own Best Advice 112

Tip 18 Becoming a Not-Know-lt-AII 115

Part 3 Change the Setting Tips

Tip 1 Change Locations 120

Tip 2 Change the Timing 122

Tip 3 The Tape Recorder Cure 124

Tip 4 Subsize Me 126

Tip 5 Allies for Change 128

Tip 6 Rearrange the Furniture 130

Acknowledgments 133