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Overview
Don't expect, be happy: Ken Keyes developed a simple strategy to be happy: Expect everyone and everything to be exactly as it is. When you are upset, he suggests, it is only because your expectations haven't been fulfilled and you are demanding that reality be as you want it to be, rather than how it is. So expect things to be as they are, and you'll be happy.
For the next day or so, every time something happens within you or out in the world that could upset you, shift into expecting it to be exactly as it is. Tell yourself it is exactly as it is supposed to be.
As a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of more than thirty books, O'Hanlon understands that it often takes only simple adjustments to create a better life. With a therapist's keen understanding of what works, O'Hanlon offers straightforward advice that is reminiscent of chatting with a dear friend for achieving simple yet significant life changes.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9780757316319 |
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Publisher: | Health Communications, Incorporated |
Publication date: | 05/01/2012 |
Pages: | 144 |
Product dimensions: | 5.00(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.40(d) |
About the Author
Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Part 1 Change the Doing Tips
Tip 1 Change the Mode of Expression 7
Tip 2 Externalize Problems or Haunting Memories 9
Tip 3 Baby Steps, Bob, Baby Steps 11
Tip 4 The Expiration-Dated Box 13
Tip 5 Stop Doing Something 15
Tip 6 Stretch Your Brain 17
Tip 7 Enjoy Your Food 19
Tip 8 Your "Not-to-Do" List 22
Tip 9 Silence Can Be Golden 24
Tip 10 Don't Be Yourself 26
Tip 11 The Hard Thing 28
Tip 12 One Drawer, at a Time 30
Tip 13 Completion Brings Energy 32
Tip 14 The Value of Doing Nothing 35
Tip 15 Going Ape in Your Relationship 37
Tip 16 Getting Up on the Right Side of the Bed 39
Tip 17 Life Is Full of Letting Go (or Not) 41
Tip 18 The Hard Conversation 43
Tip 19 Chip Away at Unhelpful and Limiting Habits 45
Tip 20 Doggedly Determined 47
Tip 21 The Nicest "No" 50
Tip 22 Deliberate Mediocrity 53
Tip 23 If You Fail on Your Face 55
Tip 24 The Power of "and" 57
Tip 25 From Tense to Getting the Tenses Right 59
Tip 26 Make a List and Check It Twice 61
Tip 27 The Opposite 63
Tip 28 Reclaiming Territory from Fear 66
Part 2 Change the Viewing Tips
Tip 1 Change Perspectives 75
Tip 2 Notice or Remember Something Different or Differently 77
Tip 3 Ask Different Questions 80
Tip 4 Finding the Blessings in the Pain or the Problem 83
Tip 5 You Are the Director 85
Tip 6 Don't Expect; Be Happy 87
Tip 7 Exhaust Your Inner Critic 89
Tip 8 Where Do You Want to Put Your Energy? 92
Tip 9 Use Others as Positive or Negative Models 94
Tip 10 Imagine You Have No Free Will 97
Tip 11 Reorient to Gratitude 99
Tip 12 Be Mindful in Your Relationships 101
Tip 13 I Take Exception 103
Tip 14 You Are Not the Target 105
Tip 15 Dissolving Upsets 107
Tip 16 Remember to Forget 110
Tip 17 Take Your Own Best Advice 112
Tip 18 Becoming a Not-Know-lt-AII 115
Part 3 Change the Setting Tips
Tip 1 Change Locations 120
Tip 2 Change the Timing 122
Tip 3 The Tape Recorder Cure 124
Tip 4 Subsize Me 126
Tip 5 Allies for Change 128
Tip 6 Rearrange the Furniture 130
Acknowledgments 133