The Cure for the

The Cure for the "Perfect" Life: 12 Ways to Stop Trying Harder and Start Living Braver

by Kathi Lipp, Cheri Gregory


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780736957007
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: 08/01/2014
Pages: 256
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults.

Cheri Gregory and Kathi Lipp are coauthors of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life. Cheri spends her weekdays teaching teens and weekends speaking at women’s retreats. She and her husband, Daniel, live in California.

Table of Contents

How the "Perfect" Life Snuck Up on Us 5

Part 1 Why Trying Harder Only Makes Things Worse

1 Perfectionism: "I'm always trying harder to look good enough." 13

2 People-Pleasing: "I'm always trying harder to seem nice enough." 19

3 Performancism: "I'm always trying harder to be seen doing enough." 25

4 Procrastination: "J know I'm not enough, so why try?" 31

Part 2 How to Trade Try-Harder Living for Braver Living

5 Fear: The Main Force of Try-Harder Living 41

6 Love: The Core Choice of Braver Living 49

7 Take the First Brave Steps 55

8 What Type of Rebel Are You? 63

Part 3 12 Cures for the "Perfect" Life

9 Redefining "Right": There's more than one right way to do things right 83

10 Perfect Ts for Pinterest: How to stop striving for perfection and actually get things done 95

11 Be a Rebel with a Cause: Good girls get angry but for all the right reasons 111

12 This Probably Isn't the End of the World: How to pick battles worthy of your time and energy 127

13 Fun Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Giving yourself permission to have fun and still get things done 141

14 Give Yourself a Time Out: Everyone (and we mean everyone) needs a nap 155

15 Disappointment Isn't Deadly: Learning to say, "I'm sorry you're sad, but I'm not buying you a pony." 169

16 What You Do Does Not Equal Who You Are: Refuse to be defined by the St. Patrick's Day cupcakes you take to your kid's class 183

17 Enough Really Is Enough: How to stop keeping three dozen empty egg cartons just in case 197

18 No More Last Minute: How to take "I work better under pressure" out of your vocabulary 211

19 Help May Be a Four-Letter Word…but It's a Good One: Rebels call in reinforcements 223

20 No Is a Complete Sentence: Why this two-letter word is the most powerful one in your vocabulary 235

Final Encouragements for Living Braver 249

"One Rebel's Story" Contributors 251

Notes 253

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The Cure for the "Perfect" Life: 12 Ways to Stop Trying Harder and Start Living Braver 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 38 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Packed with resources, advice, and testimonies, this book is the CURE(!) for perfection. Seriously. Both Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory equip their readers with all the tools they'll need to ditch those issues with perfection for good. They provide humor along with a heavy dose of help for all of us struggling (and I know there are a lot of us, right girls?). In addition, this book gently guides women into the realization that perfection isn't attainable...and that we need to rebel against a culture that tells us we should be. Friend, you're going to learn how strong you are, and how brave you can be. Buy a copy. Better yet, purchase a book for yourself and another for a friend, sister, mother, or cousin who battles with that age-old issue we all do: perfection.
RKM3 More than 1 year ago
This book is both practical and profound. I honestly don't know any women who would not find themselves in these pages. The more you read, the more you see how you've believed you must do things a certain way to be "good enough". The Cure helps you begin to prioritize what's really important and start being who you were meant to be. A real joy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is life-changing!  Filled with practical advice, assessments, and plan of attacks for the Bullies of Procrastination, People Pleasing, Perfectionism  and Performancism, this book is written in an easy to read but highly useful way.  Cheri Gregory and Kathi Lipp are both funny and practical. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great easy reading book for the overwhelmed, overworked or overstressed mom trying to find a way to put the joy back in her life! Without looking for perfection, the book teaches you to look for ways of simplifying life with grace toward our own imperfections as well as the ones we love. Tons of great references, and practical tips.  You'll learn more about how to love yourself and those around you the way God intended it to be.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I think every woman can identify with the "perfect life".  Many of us have been raised to believe that we must do all, be all, and  above all, present the perfect picture of our lives to everyone around us.  This book helps us  to realize that we dont have to be perfect, because we all know that we arent, and that we dont have to pretend anymore. That it is OK and healthy to not listen to the perfectionist attitude that is so prominent in our lives.  Kathi and Cheri approach this topic with humor and love while still getting to the heart of the matter with truth and conviction.  The Cure offers practical resources and advice on how to move on from that dreaded affliction so many of us suffer from. Buy this book and buy a highlighter to go with it. Dog ear the pages, get messy because life is messy, and not perfect, and you will find so many things in this books that you will want to revisit later. 
AdelleG More than 1 year ago
If I can't win, I won't play. Whatever I commit to do, I'll do it better than anyone else. I can't let anyone see what my house REALLY looks like. I'm responsible for everyone else's happiness. The bully of perfection plagues us all. Women trying to do it all, be it all, and constantly struggling with a sense of failure.  Whether your personality is expressive, analytic, driver or amiable, this book is for you. Packed with tips for every personality, and dealing with all kinds of Perfectionism Bullies. It's time to stop trying so hard! With Kathi and Cheri leading the charge, we can all now join the rebellion against the Perfect life! Full of personal stories of their own and anecdotes from other Rebels, this book is laughter, encouragement and friendship in 250 pages. A quick and worthwhile read! 
LauriSmit More than 1 year ago
The authenticity and transparency of Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory is refreshing. Sharing their own struggles, they are able to help other women to overcome the lying bullies of the perfect life. This book is great for Christians and non-Christians alike who are ready to rebel against the belief that we need to have it all together. Get ready to be you, bravely.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A perusal of the chapter titles in The Cure for the “Perfect” Life will touch the heart of every woman. I haven’t met a woman yet who hasn’t or isn’t still struggling with Try-Harder-Living (THL) and its four bullies. If you relate at all to dealing with perfectionism, people-pleasing, performancism, and/or procrastination, then this book has something to say to you. Cheri and Kathi go over why THL only serves to make us more miserable, not more efficient, and leaves us working like crazy to survive, instead of thriving and living in abundance. Then they proceed to offer step-by-step tools and real life examples of how to battle (with great strength) against these emotionally deadly habits. Do you want to stop treading water, barely keeping your head up? Wouldn’t you rather “learn to rest in God’s lavish unconditional love”? I know I do. And this book offers a big help on this journey. I highly recommend it without hesitation. I also recommend when you get the book you grab a bravery buddy to work with as you go! Quotes to wet your appetite: “Stop waiting until you’re fearless – you never will be – but do as much as you can with what you have. That’s brave living.” “God led me to stop sacrificing my relationships on the alter of my rightness.” “…love wins over fear any day.”
sincerelytanja More than 1 year ago
The Cure For The “Perfect Life” written by Kathi Lipp & Cheri Gregory will take you through a journey of self-evaluation and change.  On this journey you will meet four bullies named, Perfectionism, People-Pleasing,  Performancism and Procrastination.   After gaining a clear picture so that you can quickly identify these you will be given practical ways to trade in Try-Harder Living for  Braver Living!  This book would be a great Bible Study using chapter by chapter.  This book is challenging, encouraging and sometimes downright hysterical as you see both authors share from personal experience how they came face to face with their bullies.  Buy this book and you too can conquer the Bullies in your life!
emnelson More than 1 year ago
Can I say I saw myself on more than a few pages in this book.  This book will lovingly convict and then give you the tools to free yourself from the  Bullies of Perfectionism, Perfomancism, People Pleasing and Procrastinating.  I'm learning to take steps already to be brave!
JenniferMcLucas More than 1 year ago
This book is an excellent resource if you're trying to break the madness that is trying to get life "perfect." It had me saying over and over "Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one!" It's honest, it's funny, and totally relatable. There are several self-assessment tests built right into the text, making this the "perfect" workbook to help you stop beating yourself up for not being "perfect" and start being YOU!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I used to believe I was all alone. No one could ever understand my struggles with OCD, OCPD, anxiety, fear, or depression. Sometimes they overwhelmed me to the point of complete melt down and isolation. No one could ever understand. Sometimes even I didn't understand.  But here is the thing... I'm not alone. And others DO understand--thank you Kathi and Cheri for opening my eyes! Amen and Praise the Lord! In their book, The Cure for the "Perfect" Life, authors Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory, do a fabulous job of conveying some deep truths about the bullies and struggles of People-Pleasing, Perfectionism, Performancism, and Procrastination.  From the very beginning, Kathi and Cheri help readers understand that "Perfectionism isn't Christian. It's just crazy." From these words come challenges, questions, discussions, and life stories from other sisters struggling to rebel against "perfect" living. These lives shared, honest and real, give hope to each reader who also battles the bullies of Try-Harder Living. For the expressive, this book is full of creative ways to fight the bullies, lots of humor, and opportunities for each reader to express their own personality through quizzes, check-lists, questions, and fun surveys. However, the expressive will be challenged to rebel against the natural tendency of people-pleasing and rather share openly, honestly, and vulnerably. For the analytic, this book challenges readers in a deep and thoughtful way, with serious questions, measures and quizzes, and quotes, stories, or scriptures that are poetic and provoking. However, the analytical individual will also find the reassurance needed to do the right things and preserve relationships, rather than doing all things right and alienating those they love. For the driven, this book provides the reader with a chance to achieve, successfully completing well developed sections, fill in the blanks, quizzes and lists. However,  the driven and confident individual will also realize they are not alone and have positive value above and beyond their performancism and "doing." For the amiable, this book provides an easy and relaxed read, perfect for a peaceful afternoon curled up with a cup of coffee, even if the dishes and laundry are piled high. However, the amiable will be unable to stay put, challenged by the authors to take responsibility, stop compromising, and stop procrastinating. While I am convinced sometimes that this book was written just for me, I know that this jewel must be shared with the world. Kudos to Kathi and Cheri on a fabulous read. So... to all of you readers with "perfect" lives...Buy it. Read it. Mark it up with your favorite pink highlighter. And start living braver!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you've been trying harder for too long at just about everything...this book is for you. Maybe it's because of the "American Dream" or maybe it's because we've been told it's "Christian" but so many of us have been killing ourselves to "get it right"--what ever “it” is. Parenting. Marriage. Life. Christian service. The truth revealed in this book is that we've been bullied by the four "Ps"--Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, Performancism, and Procrastination. The authors expose each one as a lying bully whose only goal is to keep you sprinting on the treadmill of "Try Harder Living" by continuously poking you with a sharp stick called fear. Fear of failure. Fear of people's opinions. Fear of not doing it "right." The worst part is the treadmill never stops, and there is never any finality or satisfaction. The chapters have useful, even funny, indicators that reveal which of these bullies is most pernicious in your life. In my experience they all gang up on me and merely take turns initiating the harassment. The encouragement is that God’s infinite love for us can change the motivations behind our actions. So instead of listening to the “bullies” and being motivated by fear, we can stand up to them and be motivated by love. But standing up to the “bullies” means being brave. Each chapter ends with a list of “Tiny Acts of Rebellion,” four tiny suggestions on how you can start living braver. A much needed and very enjoyable read!
TabDinAZ More than 1 year ago
As a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser (and a long-time Kathi Lipp fan) I had high expectations for this book and they were met and exceeded!! It is easy to read, well-organized, down-to-earth and best of all--practical. I am appreciating how far I've come in many areas while seeing that there is still work to do. But rather than fret about what still needs to be done, I feel inspired and encouraged to embrace the concepts in the book to be more of my true self--loved and accepted by God and BRAVELY facing each new challenge. I am highlighting tons of passages and already planning to add this book to my resource table at all my speaking engagements AND use it with my clients who need to move past the "try hard" life. Highly recommended!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have really enjoyed this book. It speaks to my heart and where I am at...daily.  I find that I'm not alone in how I feel and other women feel the same way. I hope you will pick up this book for you AND a friend to read together because our lives were not meant to be lived alone, so bring a friend along for the ride of learning out the "Bullies" that seem to overtake everyone at one time or another and how to fight back!  Be 40% BRAVE to pick up a copy and a friend to help you finish the reading of it. You won't regret it!
HorseyloverHeather More than 1 year ago
This book is extremely practical and is highly recommended for anyone who is stressed about their life.  If you're trying to figure out how to slow down and enjoy your life, your kids and your husband with less worrying about getting it all just right, start with this book. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I know this sounds so cliche, but this book was such a life-changer for me! I had no idea how much I struggled with perfectionism, people-pleasing, performancism and procrastination until I read this book. Not only have the authors helped me realize my tendencies, but they have outlined actionable steps that I can take to work on changing my belief in perfection!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is SUCH a good book--perfect for just about every woman who is struggling with "being all that she can be"--and that's pretty much all of us! Reading through this helped me to sort out what was bothering me and helped me figure out how to tackle those fears, without getting all wrapped up in doing it perfectly. I strongly recommend this book!
LindseyMBell More than 1 year ago
A must read for perfectionists, people-pleasers, procrastinators, and those who think they must DO enough to BE enough.  One unique thing about this book is the quizzes. I grew up taking personality tests and other fun quizzes in magazines so this was right up my alley. Nearly every chapter had an assessment included to help readers determine how big of an issue this particular issue was. The book began by describing the four "bullies" of perfectionism, people pleasing, procrastination, and performancism. Then, it shared 12 common misconceptions about these bullies and how to overcome them. One of my favorite quotes from the book was this: "Multitasking may work for some tasks. But multitasking kills relationships." As a self-proclaimed multitasked, this quote was life-changing. *I received this book for free for review, but all opinions are my own.  
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Cheri and Kathi peel back the masks we all wear and expose the P bullies that we all battle. This book is not a breezy read...this book is for women who are tired of trying to live the perfect life and are ready to live a braver life. Kathi and Cheri are honest and transparent regarding what they struggle with but it doesn't stop there. They go deeper with practical tools for making changes. This book helps you realize that you can live a braver life, that rebelling against the "perfection illusion" is ok, in fact it is healthy. Gab this book, settle in, and prepare to do some soul-searching as you learn to live braver!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book! Helped understand myself better and people who are not like me ;) "it's not that we shouldn't strive for excellence, but we need to understand the difference between pursuing excellence and pursuing perfection." This book helped me see the difference. There are even practical steps at the end of each chapter to help you to start living braver.
deannaalbrecht More than 1 year ago
When I began reading The Cure for the Perfect Life, I thought I had pretty much beat perfection and even confessed to others that my life was far from perfect. However, this book showed me where I still struggle with the areas of perfectionism, and gave me the courage to make imperfect, and braver decisions.    The personal examples and stories that authors Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory share throughout helped me to see how perfectionism, people-pleasing, performancism, and procrastination can be lived out (not always in ways I thought) and helped me see myself in each (some more than others).   Dealing with personal issues can sometimes feel draining and exhausting (especially if you are a perfectionist-procrastinator). Yet, not once while reading this did I feel the “heaviness” of confronting the “P Bullies” of perfection -- and from beginning (see cupcake cover) to end, this book felt like it had grace, brave grace, written all over it! 
knowltonnest More than 1 year ago
The Cure for the "Perfect" Life by Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory is a look at the 4 "P" Bullies and 12 ways to stop trying harder and start living braver. The four "P" Bullies are: Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, Procrastination and Performancism. With humorous, yet true stories and unique candor, these ladies examine the Try Harder Living pit that many women succumb to and give hope and encouragement on how to dig out of that pit. They invite you to Braver Living Rebellion. There are four rebel personality types- Expressive, Analytic, Driver and Amiable. Each personality type reacts differently with the 4 "P" Bullies. This book is interactive and self-examining. Each chapter begins with a bully belief (ie. If I want something done right, I'm going to have to do it myself.) and a brave combat (There's more than one way to do it right.). There is a short quiz (they are all different), a story from a rebel, tiny acts of rebellion (ways to not try harder) and tips for each rebel personality type. The message they wish to convey with their readers is to leave behind the bully beliefs and embrace the freedom of choosing God's way and live in a brave new way. I want to live the "perfect" life and the harder I try, the more frustrated I become. I wasn't made to live this way. I was made to embrace an imperfect life, but fully rely on God. As I read this book, I identified with many of the bully beliefs. Do I really live this way? I appreciate how brave the authors and contributors were to share real stories of real struggles, but also give a hope and vision for a better way of life. Do you struggle with any of the "P" Bullies? Then stop trying harder and start living braver! Get your copy today!
beloved569 More than 1 year ago
I was on board completely for reading this book when I heard about that Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory had wrote it. I admit that as I first started to read it I didn't think it would have a hugely profound message for me personally. But, it did! I think all of us find ourselves needing to escape "Try-harder Living" and if we're not there yet being aware of the pitfalls can really help as well as understanding friends and family that may have a greater struggle with "perfect".
Kris_D More than 1 year ago
I'm an imperfect wife and mom that has felt all alone.  This book helped me learn more about who I am and gave me some great insight on how I can create a better me.  I don't need to try so hard to be someone I'm not and it's okay to say no.  When I picked up this book I wasn't sure I would make it all of the way through...but I did.  This book won't cure anything but it will give you an amazing view of your life through taking several short quizzes.  You will learn more about yourself and be on your way to approaching situations differently.  You can fight off people-pleasing, perfectionism, performancism, and procrastination by taking it one step at a time.  We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.  Pick up one for yourself and find a bravery buddy.  You'll be glad you did.