Are you tired of reading relationship books that suggest that your only option is to find 'The One?' Where are the books encouraging singles to make the most out of their dating lives? In this one-of-a-kind guidebook, Erin Tillman aka The Dating Advice Girl, reminds the reader that the dating process can be an exciting adventure if you have the right tools, a positive mindset, and the willingness to take control of your social life. This book is a must for singles who want to understand how dating works in the 21st Century and for those who want to start enjoying the dating process. The Dating Guidebook offers advice on:
Breaking the Ice
First Date Ideas
Texting vs. Calling
Surviving a Dating Dry Spell
Sex and Safety
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Read an Excerpt
The Dating Guidebook
Tips For Living a Happy and Healthy Single Life Without Losing Yourself in the Dating Process
By AuthorHouse DAB
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2013The Dating Advice Girl
All rights reserved.
ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET?
When was the last time you were truly present on a date?
What if your focus was simply to get to know a potential new love-interest? What if you challenged yourself to go on a date with someone you never thought you'd like and were pleasantly surprised once you got to know them? Just think how different a date could go if you made lighthearted fun your objective rather than unrealistically trying to 'husband' or 'wife' your date on Date #1. Making the conscious decision to be present, positive and proactive, especially during the early dating process, guarantees that you will have some great times with some amazing people. This can drastically change your love life. The goal should simply be to get to know someone better. Everyone has an interesting story to tell. Learn your date's story. Have a drink or two if you're so inclined, relax, and simply enjoy their company. Having fun on dates is all about your mentality. It's choosing to enjoy each moment along the way even if you don't see yourself ultimately with this person. Cut yourself a break and have some fun!
Rest assured, nobody really knows what they're doing when it comes to dating. Everyone could use a little guidance in the early months of the dating process. Yes, some singles may have more developed interpersonal skills or pick-up tactics than others, but because the dynamics between every couple are different, each relationship is a new experience with new strengths and challenges. Given this fact, most of us learn as we go. We could avoid so much heartache if we would simply remain present, keep an open mind and realize that dating in the early months should be about getting to know someone new. My goal is to help you to rediscover the fun in dating and give you the tools to get the most out of your dating life.
WHY SINGLES HATE DATING IN THE EARLY MONTHS
The first dates with your love-interest should be seen simply as a 'get-to-know-you' session. Dating should be easy and fun! It shouldn't be filled with drama, tears, and overall unhappiness. That is what makes dating a horribly unpleasant process. In the first six months of a relationship, YOU SHOULD BE HAVING FUN AND GETTING TO KNOW YOUR LOVE-INTEREST! If you are willing, you can have fun with almost anyone. Even if you don't plan on going out a second time with your date, why not make the best of the first? You may have absolutely no intention of seeing your date again, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying a night out on the town.
Dating can be hard, but we make it harder than it should be. In the early dating months it can be difficult to decode dating behaviors especially if you lack the right dating tools. This is the time period when singles tend to form negative opinions about the dating process by getting caught up in 'where things are headed' rather than being present and focusing on getting to know a new love-interest. Dating becomes fun when you have reasonable expectations. Your goal should be to experience something fun and connect with someone new. As the dating process progresses, you will naturally start to discover whether or not you have met a possible match who has similar likes, dislikes, and relationship objectives. When you are able to let go of possible future outcomes, dating becomes light-hearted, exciting and fun!
The majority of singles hate the dating process. Is it because there really aren't any quality single people out there, or is it a lethal combo of pessimism, fear of dating and of rejection, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of dating know-how? It's this combo that makes single people detest their single lives and makes singles want to run away from the dating process. It's time to change your perspective and start enjoying your single years instead of avoiding or dreading them. Let's say you are single from college graduation until your midthirties. That's more than a decade of singlehood ... how will you spend it? Pissed off and bitter.... or happy with a variety of experiences, a network of great friends and exs, and contentment in knowing that you've enjoyed a single life that your unhappily single friends would kill for. I've chosen to live my single life through the latter example and so can you!
You hold the key to happiness in your dating life. When you've reached a level of contentment within yourself, then and only then can you truly find successful relationships. This book will help you tap into that happiness through the following 6 objectives,
by showing what you do and don't have control over when it comes to men, women, and the dating process
by giving you the tools to empower yourself in spite of any dating dramas that may present themselves
by showing how we share the same experiences as single people to create a sense of community
by showing how fun the dating process can be if you're open to accepting fun as an option in your dating life instead of seeing dating as something to be feared or dreaded
by giving examples for you to discover your likes and dislikes, negotiables and non-negotiables in regards to dating and relationships
Let's get started by reviewing some common dating terms ...
What's the difference between 'seeing each other' and 'dating'? What does being single actually mean? How do you know if your relationship qualifies as an exclusive partnership? Someone might be a 'friend with benefits', but if you see that person only on a sporadic basis, do they become a 'one night stand' instead? Effective communication is the most important part of trying to figure out what's happening with you and a love-interest, but part of that communication is to have an understanding of what certain dating terms mean. Here are just a few definitions that may come up while you're navigating the dating scene.
2nd Date Hint/Follow-Up Date Hint-After a first date, rather than actually asking a love-interest out for another date, one of you hints that you'd be interested in going out again. You may mention that you can't wait to see a certain movie or try a new restaurant. The 2nd date hint, or Follow-Up Date, is a subtle way to encourage your love-interest to ask you out rather than you doing the asking.
Blind Date-This is a date that involves going out with someone you've never met face to face prior to the first date. The date has been arranged through friends, colleagues, or even via an online dating or social networking website.
Booty Call-The booty call usually occurs late in the evening, usually after the bars have closed and things are slowing down for the night. Both parties are in agreement that this meeting is only for sexual purposes. The two parties know each other on some level but the interaction is mainly sexual. The purpose of the booty call is to release sexual tension. This may or may not involve sleeping over at each other's places after sexual events have occurred. This is similar to Friends with Benefits, but you might not consider each other friends. It's different from a one-night stand in that it could happen on a regular basis.
Celibacy-This is the conscious choice to abstain from sex for spiritual, religious, or personal reasons. Usually used to gain clarity of thought and mind, celibacy is different from a dating or sexual dry spell because you are consciously choosing to abstain.
Cougar-A cougar is the controversial term referring to a woman, usually over 40, who regularly dates men several years younger. There is usually a large age difference between a cougar and her love
Excerpted from The Dating Guidebook. Copyright © 2013 by The Dating Advice Girl. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1 ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET?.................... 1
CHAPTER 2 CHECK YOURSELF!.................... 11
CHAPTER 3 SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE.................... 19
CHAPTER 4 DATING.COM.................... 31
CHAPTER 5 WHERE TO GO? WHAT TO DO?.................... 39
CHAPTER 6 FIRST DATE FUNDAMENTALS.................... 49
CHAPTER 7 FOLLOWING UP FAVORABLY.................... 69
CHAPTER 8 SEALING THE DEAL.................... 77
CHAPTER 9 CAUTION! RED FLAGS AHEAD.................... 89
CHAPTER 10 THE FAT LADY HAS SUNG!.................... 109
CHAPTER 11 HIBERNATION.................... 127
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Great for the hetero, monogamous dater This guide has a number of invaluable dating tips from dozens of different ideas for a first date, to breaking up and voluntary periods of non-dating. If you are not monogamous or heterosexual, some of the assumptions and language may be a little grating. Disclaimer: I've met the author IRL, and she is every inch a lady. I'm not, however, and found myself uncomfortable with her referring to "Ladies" and "Guys," as well the idea that the man should always pay for the first date, regardless of who initiated the date. Others will be nodding their heads instead of shaking them. There is an excellent section with dozens of reasons to NOT date someone, or why to break up, including domestic violence, disrespectful or controlling behaviors, along with links to helpful resources. All in all, a very good reference book, and it certainly has the right attitude, of making dating FUN.
This book is filled with great tips for people who are in the dating scene and just want to have FUN with it and not feel so much pressure to try and find Mr. Right...because let's face it, sometimes we just need Mr. Right Now and The Dating Advice Girl gives you those dating tools!!!