The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

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The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 108 reviews.
Eleanor-Birst More than 1 year ago
The main idea behind this book is that just as people have unique personality preferences, we all have unique preferences for what we find satisfying and motivating when it comes to love. Speaking your partner's language takes A LOT of emotional intelligence, and a girlfriend suggested a great book that has helped me with it, Emotional Intelligence 2.0. In a nutshell, your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. The relationship expert behind the book arranges the book into the five love languages, and provides quizzes to help you determine which language you are. I find it challenging each day to put my own needs aside and focus on speaking my partner's love language, especially when competing priorities (work, kids, etc.) get in the way. The 5 Love Languages: - Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc. Basically, they find ways to remind you that their world is a better place because you are in it. - Acts of Service: If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language. - Affection: This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, snuggling, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language. Touch is very important to you. - Quality Time: This love language is about being together with your partner, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial. - Gifts: The final love language is centered on the idea that your partner taking the time to think of you and give you a gift, no matter how small, is what makes you feel loved and appreciated. The problem is most people love how they want to be loved, and that doesn't tend to align with how their partner wants to be loved. So, you have to learn to speak your partner's love language. The author also believes that focusing intently on speaking the love languages will rekindle relationships where people don't even seem to like each other anymore.
Stephanie_Bauer More than 1 year ago
This book explains why - despite somebody's best effort to express his/her love - their partner feels unloved: They speak different "love languages"! As I read Dr. Chapman's explanation of the five different ways to express and receive love, and that people only "get" the expression of love, if it is communicated in the language they understand, I began to see why, after an initial phase of being in love, my relationships ended because we lost our connection. We each did express our love with the gestures and words that meant love to us, but they did not meet the emotional needs of the other person. Wow! And this is such an easy fix, once you know what's going on! And I bet it works in every day life, at work, with friends etc as well. Another amazing relationship book I read recently is "How to Have a Match Made in Heaven" by Ariel and Shya Kane. They cover every stage of relationships through conversations with singles and couples - and you can watch the conversations via a link on-line as well! Their advice is fresh, down to earth, sometimes surprising, sometimes humorous, and always compassionate. And since they work as a couple, both genders' perspectives are reflected, which gives extra depth to their suggestions. Both books are well-written and easy and fun to read. Even though they are organized such that you can easily just read one chapter and continue with the next one whenever you have time again, I just found it difficult to put them down. I highly recommend both books for anyone who wants to find new, effective ways to create your next relationship or transform your existing relationship into the relationship of your dreams.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a great book to discover what your love language is and how it plays out in a relationship. When two people are speaking different languages, it can create  an environment for miscommunication or missed opportunities to connect with your partner.    It was fun to see, in the book my preferred expression of love and how that translated into a love language. Gary Chapman shares that one of the keys to discovering  your own love language and that of your mate is listening. Not the typical multi-task approach to listening, where you are typing up an email while listening to your partner share about their day. What he means is listening with your full attention.    This reminds me of the book, “How to Have a Match Made in Heaven Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage by Ariel and Shya Kane.” They discovered  through listening, with your full attention, that it draws you into the moment. When you are in the moment, you are engaged with those around you and in your life. I love this book and am excited at the new possibilities I have discovered in my relationship.
SmartChic More than 1 year ago
I've read this book about 3 times since buying it and so has my husband. It has ABSOLUTELY helped us to understand each other better. This book helped in clarifying what that "thing you can't put your finger on" that bothers you about your mate. It was easy to follow and super informative. The book was laid out in a way that if you want to skip around, it's not hard to do. HIGHLY recommended!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I bought this as a side gift for a bride and groom. This is an eye-opener to open communication and creates understanding in all kinds of relationships. The "real world" examples of how understanding your partner's love language will strengthen your relationship and communication in your other relationships as well are beneficial and insightful. I recommend this book to anyone who is searching for ways to improve their communication with those they love and care about down to neighbors, friends, family, and co-workers. Understanding each other COULD prevent years of needless and unintended hurt feelings and emotional separation if the people you are dealing with are at all reasonable and sane. We all experience love differently and view the method in which we show it differently. We THINK we are doing it right, BUT, if the other person is clueless and totally non-receptive, it's as good as NO EXPRESSION AT ALL.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is a must read. It should be a part of every woman's permanent library. I don't think my words could truly do this book justice. There is only one other book that I feel this strongly about and that's R.A Clark's "When God Stopped Keeping Score" which takes an eye-opening look at forgiveness. Trust me, you will be surprised by some of the things in that book too. Be sure to buy your copy.
Hillmax More than 1 year ago
I loved this book! We first read it at a family reunion type event. It was fun just to learn what each individuals love language was. In fact, learning the parents type was especially helpful! A love language is how it is best for others to tell you they love you. Some people really love receiving gifts, others service, and some like the physical attention or words are of value. None is better then the other, but once you know your partner (or friend, roommate, parent, child) love language life gets a whole lot easier! And sometimes more fun ;) A must read for everyone!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Everyone in a relationship can benefit from this book...one friend commented...I would not have divorced had I read this book first.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I'm 52 and have been married and divorced now for quite sometime. I think that everyone should read this book before getting into a relationship because maybe with the knowledge from the book you won't get into a relationship when you shouldn't and may be a better partner if you do proceed into in loving relationship. This book makes a lot of sense and it pretty much explains why there are happy and completely satisfied couples and others not so much.
Evergrowing More than 1 year ago
I wish I had read this before we got married. Fortunately we've held on for 20 years. I picked it, after I read reviews on it for a cousin's bridal shower, don't know if she was thrilled about that, but I read it first. Gary Chapman has a humorous and not too preachy style. It was good to get affirmation for somethings we've been doing in our own marriage. It was easy reading and the practical.The sometimes difficult advice in this book was challenging. I'm picking up another copy for ourselves so we can have reminders to help our marriage grow stronger in the next 20 years or more that God grants us.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you are interested in developing your relationships and understanding the interactions that you have with others, then this book is a helpful reference. This book is easy to read and easy to understand and applies to all types of relationships. It points out that we all need to have love and that we are all unique and recognize love in different ways. So in order to better give and to receive love one can educate oneself of the many different forms in which it can be expressed. Once this is recognized and acted upon then relationships will flourish by being recharged with love. This works for all relationships from your romantic partner to parents and siblings and even coworkers. Two thumbs up for 'The 5 Love Languages".
booksonmynook More than 1 year ago
Found it very insightful and entertaining. would recommend
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this book when my husband and I were going through a rough patch. I was to the point that I would read (more like devour!) anything I could get my hands on that might help me/us through it. This book was helpful to me in that it opened my eyes to how he had been showing me love- that even though it wasn't how I "wanted or needed" to be loved- it was how he knew how to love me. I think it helped me appreciate his love for me other than for me to love him how he needs it. It gave me a perspective to start from. I think, reading this book, it is important to keep an open mind and realize that you can't classify everyone into one stereotype. Every single language of love is applicable to everyone, I think. You just have to know when each one is appropriate/needed. Since I've read this book I have the ability to realize that, for example, just because I might need a hug, my husband isn't a mind reader and he might just tell me I look nice and I need to take that as his way of showing me love but at the same time vocalize what I need. It has helped me focus on the good things instead of him not doing it how I want it. We've talked about this book (he hasn't read it but I've explained the concept to him) and he agrees that you can't JUST do one thing to show you love someone. It is an accumulation of all five. So, even though it might be easy to say, "Well, my husband like words of affirmation so I'm going to compliment him 50 times a day" you can't do that. Compliments are good but so are the other things. Can't just focus on one because that isn't well rounded.
JessLucy More than 1 year ago
This was an interesting book with a lot of good advice. The author clearly defines each love language and offers several examples within each category for everyday life. The chapter on defining your own and your spouse's love language was especially useful as we were having trouble defining ours. I don't usually read self-help books but this was a good read with a lot of informative advice and ideas. Gary Chapman makes a lot of sense! I think this would be a good choice for people who have rocky marriages and also for couples who just want to keep their relationship strong and happy.
BigJohnLefty More than 1 year ago
an extremely useful book for couples to read together to help understand each other better
Edd-Burns More than 1 year ago
While going through my second divorce, my marriage counselor recommended this book. I found it very enlightening. It became very apparent that the communication between my spouse and me was not effective. She did not have a clue about my love language, and I was not using her love language effectively. Unfortunately, my wife would not read the book; however, I introduced the book to other people with whom I have had relationships, and understanding the love language of your partner makes a big difference. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is trying to establish a committed relationship with a partner.
Ellesurfs More than 1 year ago
Although I felt there were something incomplete about the approach the author takes to fixing a relationship, I find his "truths" to be true. This book is intriguing, thoughtful and provides a great perspective on the stages of a relationship. Not just between husband and wife but also parent and child.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I knew nothing about love languages, and even made fun of the idea... Well, after reading about it and taking the test, I'm a believer. It explains even others love and affection, such as family and friends. I would recommend this book, read it all in one sitting with my boyfriend. Easy and has a few funny stories inside.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book could provide one step towards healing in a troubled relationship.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Practical and useful information for improving a relationship.
RichardWilder More than 1 year ago
Braselton. This is a great book. I spent much time deciding if I anted to read it. After reading this book I realize I should have spent more time reading it then thinking about reading it. taxes. cars. Hope you enjoy it very much. Jesus Saves!! Richard Wilder
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved the book. I think it was a great and easy read and really gave insight into a lot of things I think some of us may fail to pay attention to at times. I would recommend this book to anyone who is in a relationship, getting married, or just trying to be a better lover. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A great book regarding the ways in which we and our partners like to give/receive love. I am a marriage and family counselor, and it has been a great addition to my therapeutic resources, as well as helping me understand my partner better. My only negative is that it is written with a slightly Christian-based slant, and does not include LGBT couples. May be time for an update?