The Gran Tour: Travels with my Elders

The Gran Tour: Travels with my Elders

by Ben Aitken
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When Ben Aitken- a millennial Bill Bryson- learnt that his gran had enjoyed a four-night holiday including four three-course dinners, four cooked breakfasts, four games of bingo, a pair of excursions, sixteen pints of lager and luxury return coach travel, all for a hundred pounds, he thought, that's the life, and signed himself up. Six times over.

Good value aside, what Ben was really after was the company of his elders - those with more chapters under their belt, with the wisdom granted by experience, the candour gifted by time, and the hard-earned ability to live each day like it's nearly their last.

A series of coach holidays ensued - from Scarborough to St Ives, Killarney to Lake Como - during which Ben attempts to shake off his thirty-something blues by getting old as soon as possible.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781785786488
Publisher: Icon Books, Ltd. UK
Publication date: 11/10/2020
Pages: 306
Sales rank: 354,329
Product dimensions: 5.30(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.00(d)

About the Author

Ben Aitken was born under Thatcher, grew to six foot then stopped, and is an Aquarius. He is the author of Dear Bill Bryson: Footnotes from a Small Island (2015) and A Chip Shop in Poznan: My Unlikely Year in Poland (2019), ‘one of the funniest books of the year’ (Paul Ross, talkRadio).

Table of Contents

Part 1 Scarborough, Yorkshire, England

1 We're hard to spot, aren't we? 3

2 There's an art to eating happily alone 15

3 Why aren't you in bed? 26

4 I'm the right side of 80, she says - 81 36

Part 2 St Ives, Cornwall, England

5 Any student discount? 47

6 Well, pardon me, Mrs Robinson 63

7 Older people should be exploited 75

8 Although owls appear zen and wise, they're actually thick as sh*t 86

Part 3 Llandudno, Wales

9 Just eat your bread roll and don't touch me 97

10 Ask your mother while you can 112

11 Alexa, find Facebook, says Nan 129

12 It sounds to me like you could do with some grief 140

Part 4 Killarney, Ireland

13 I'm not used to the likes of you. On ye get 157

14 It's Judy bloody Garland 168

15 You can't take a picture of them. They're not us 178

16 These days, even babies don't know they're born 190

Part 5 Lake Como, Italy

17 Life's not about living to 96. It's about living to 84 203

18 They're talking of switching rooms because their neighbours were at it half the night 210

19 Now there's no whistling because he never comes home 217

20 They took him to hospital in a gondola 227

21 If you want to know the secret to a long happy marriage, it's 1) stay alive and 2) have separate bedtimes 237

22 And then some paramedics arrive 247

Part 6 Pitlochry, Scotland

23 She says that thanking God gets easier and harder every day 257

24 She grew beetroot and potatoes all day and hi return she wasn't shot 266

25 I can't just sit here and wait for the rain to stop 280

26 There was that lark in the end 292

Acknowledgements 307

Permissions 310

About the author 311

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