The Great Muhammad Cartoon Drawing Contest At The Ella Ech! Bar

The Great Muhammad Cartoon Drawing Contest At The Ella Ech! Bar

by Dov Ivry


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(This is novella, circa 21,000 word. It begins like this.)

The TV reporter brushed off a fly which had landed on his left ear, steadied himself, and began.

"This is Emory DeLante and I'm standing here outside the Ella Ech! Bar in Kramer Junction with Ella Tarkensen, owner of the bar, and her security manager Juke Clenn. The bar is sponsoring the Great Muhammad Cartoon Drawing Contest and it has attracted world-wide condemnation from Muslims and also death threats against Ella.

"Are you still going ahead with this, Ella, in view of the threats?"

"Sure am."

"If you are asking about security I'll answer it," said Juke.

Ella was blonde, of medium height, who no matter what she wore always looked like she had stepped out of a page of Vogue Magazine as she did now in an emerald green sheath dress. The security manager had long shaggy black hair and won a black leather jacket like the biker he was.

"We are expecting no problem from Muslims," Juke said. "Our government assures us that we have no enemies among the Muslims but that we do have to keep a sharp eye out on the unemployed. That's what are doing, keeping a sharp eye on the unemployed."

"There are real threats. You don't seem to be taking them seriously," said the reporter.

"We sure are," said Juke. "We are just doing what our government says. You can trust the Muslims but you can't trust the unemployed. I watch TV too sometimes."

"Ella they've issue a fatwa on you," said the reporter. "They may try to kill you."

"A what?" she asked.

"A fatwa. That's what Muslim clergymen issue when they put out a hit order on someone."

"No, no you got it all wrong, Emory, is that your name?" said Juke. "Our government says we don't have any enemies among the Muslims. That fatwa must have come from the unemployment office. You should have done your homework before coming all the way out here."

Ella looked away laughing.

"I got it. Okay," said Emory. "You are not worried. When is the big day?"

"We have another three weeks to go," said Ella. "Entries have to be delivered personally and registration is $10. For that they get a free drink. All the registration money goes to the winner."

"You know that this contest has been publicized all over the world," said the reporter. "What about people who can't get here?"

"They can't enter the contest. This is a local event. If entries come in by mail, they are not opened. And I don't have the time or resources to do printouts off the computer."

At that moment another biker off to the side got into a scuffle and threw some guy to the ground drawing the cameras.

"Nabbed another one," shouted the biker. "He's a card-carrying unemployed. Got him dead to rights."

"You people are making sport of me," said the reporter.

"Tell me something," said Juke. "You look like an educated guy. Does this fatwa cancel the First Amendment?"

"Of course not."

"Around here that's what we go by."

"Well, they don't."

"There ain't no they. Used to be. When the government changed they went away. Emory if you want to keep your job, you got to get up to speed or you can get lost in what they call the nuances."

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781508762461
Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
Publication date: 03/08/2015
Pages: 76
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.16(d)

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