The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness: How to Express Your Needs and Deal with Conflict While Keeping a Kind Heart

The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness: How to Express Your Needs and Deal with Conflict While Keeping a Kind Heart

by Sherrie Mansfield Vavrichek

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781608821730
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Publication date: 08/01/2012
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 216
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Sherrie M. Vavrichek, LCSW-C, is a cognitive behavioral therapist and published author who uses mindfulness, meditation, and Buddhist philosophy in her practice and in her life. She is a senior staff member at the Behavior Therapy Center of Greater Washington, and has presented at national conferences on numerous mental health topics, including compassionate assertiveness. Vavrichek lives and works in the Washington, DC area.


Sherrie M. Vavrichek, LSCW-C, is a cognitive behavioral therapist and published author who uses mindfulness, meditation, and Buddhist philosophy in her practice and in her life. She is a senior staff member at the Behavior Therapy Center of Greater Washington and has presented at the national converences on numerous mental health topics, including compassionate assertiveness. Vavrichek lives and works in the Washington, DC, area.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

Part 1 Learning about Yourself and How Compassionate Assertiveness Can Help You

Chapter 1 Exploring Your Interpersonal Style and How You Became the Person You Are 7

Chapter 2 Compassionate Assertiveness: Improving Communication and Solving Problems with an Open Heart 29

Part 2 Training Your Mind and Your Heart

Chapter 3 Gratitude: Foster Appreciation to Reduce Negativity 43

Chapter 4 Equanimity: Stand Firm, Compromise, or Let Go 51

Chapter 5 Courage: Face Your Fear of Conflict 71

Chapter 6 Forgiveness: Free Yourself from Anger and Pain 87

Part 3 Strengthening Your Interpersonal Skills

Chapter 7 Using Mindfulness and Meditation to Calm Your Body and Your Mind 103

Chapter 8 Communicating with Care: How to Understand and Be Understood 117

Chapter 9 Using Negotiation Skills to Resolve Conflicts 133

Part 4 Applying Compassionate Assertiveness in Love and in Life

Chapter 10 Compassionate Assertiveness for Couples 149

Chapter 11 Compassionate Assertiveness with Your Family 163

Chapter 12 Compassionate Assertiveness in the Outside World 177

Afterword 191

Resources 193

References 195

What People are Saying About This

Fred Penzel

As someone brought up on traditional assertiveness training, I have to say that Sherrie M. Vavrichek's book brings a newer, much better and more usable approach to helping people with problems in this area. It is a thoughtful, well-written gem, and a genuine resource. I can truly see myself recommending this to my own patients.

—Fred Penzel PhD (author of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders and The Hair-Pulling Problem)

Jon E. Grant

Well-written, thoughtful, and incredibly enlightening. This book adeptly weaves philosophy and psychology into an interpersonal approach that can have a major positive impact on anyone's life.

—Jon E. Grant MD (professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota and author of Stop Me Because I Can't Stop Myself)

Kate Berg

The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness is a joyously practical marriage of Western psychotherapy and Eastern wisdom. Clearly written with many helpful examples, it presents valuable skills that sensitive people need in dealing with the world.

—Kate Berg PhD (eneticist, writer and yoga instructor at Quiet Willow Studio in Silver Spring, MD)

Joel F. Jaro

Drawing on her experiences with Eastern and Western philosophies, Vavrichek has created a unique approach that combines humanism with self-empowerment. If you are looking to apply assertiveness skills in all major areas of your life, then you owe it to yourself to read the wisdom in this life-affirming book.

—Joel F. Jaro (LCSW-R, psychotherapist and inspirational coach)

Tara Brach

In her accessible and deeply wise book, Sherrie M. Vavrichek teaches us how to communicate our truths in a way that serves understanding and connection. The mindfulness and skills at the center of this training can transform and heal not only individual relationships, but the fabric of our society.

—Tara Brach PhD (clinical psychologist, meditation teacher and author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge)

Merrill Black

As a therapist/healer I found Vavrichek's book inspiring. This unique approach of blending Buddhist principles and cognitive behavioral strategies provides a useful and practical guide on how to navigate through your life assertively in a gentler and truly loving way.

—Merrill Black (LCSW, Reiki master and hypnotherapist specializing in anxiety disorders)

Sharon Salzberg

In this book, Sherrie M. Vavrichek skillfully draws on cognitive behavioral therapy, Buddhist psychology and philosophy, and her own deep insight. The compassionate assertiveness approach offers powerful tools to grow beyond conflict strategies that no longer serve, without doing violence to oneself or others. Her book is a valuable contribution that will be a great help to many.

—Sharon Salzberg (author of Real Happiness)

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