“This lovely book will give you guidance and inspiration as you undertake the most important task of love: loving yourself. Read it and be encouraged. Read it and take heart!”
—Daphne Rose Kingma, Author of When You Think You’re Not Enough: The Four Life-Changing Steps to Loving Yourself and The Future of Love
“‘The essence of God and life is love. Love is our nature. From love we come and to love we return.’ Life’s journey is to help discover our Soulful Purpose and become our unique expression of Divine Love. Heather Hans knows what it takes to experience extraordinary love, and her book, The Heart of Self-Love, is for anyone who has struggled with self-worth and is ready to come into their power as the confident leader of their life.”
—Norman Wolfe, author of The Living Organization: Transforming Business To Create Extraordinary Results
Love is our nature. From love is where we originate and to love is where we return. Nothing can break love. Love heals, love creates; love is the most powerful force of all. Without love humanity suffers - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When people cannot love themselves, they suffer from a deadly poison; when these poisonous thoughts, feelings, and behaviors take hold on one individual, everyone is impacted. Drawing from mystical wisdom and decades of experience in healing and human science as well as Hans’ riveting personal story, The Heart of Self-Love, a combination of instruction, inspiration, and memoir will guide your soul’s journey toward self-love, loving relationships, and Divine love. Living in love, including self-love, is both a large picture and a small-details job. Tools for nurturing relationships and achieving radiance are outlined throughout the book as Hans takes on issues of addiction, fear, loss, luck, health, and social justice.
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Read an Excerpt
The HEART of SELF-LOVE
How to Radiate with Confidence
By HEATHER HANS
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2013 Heather Hans
All rights reserved.
All that you have is your soul. — Tracy Chapman
You've probably heard the phrase, "Nothing is certain but death and taxes." Death and taxes are, of course, certainties, but this phrase fails to include one more certainty—the certainty of life. Looking at a period of millions of years, many things come and go, but what remains constant is life. Life continues, and that's what the soul does also—it continues. Its essence is everlasting. While earthly forms and bodies may appear and disappear, the very force behind life never actually dies. Even after our physical bodies have drawn their last breaths, life continues because the soul cannot perish.
You can think of life force, in concrete terms, as a comparison with the process of composting food. Food is grown in the ground, it's harvested, and then it's used for consumption. Whatever is not used eventually goes back into the earth and undergoes decomposition so that it can be reused. This cycle is also true for food that is consumed and expelled through waste. From the energy of the discarded waste emerges new flowers, plants, or crops—new life. What was once food has now emerged as a flower. But its energy, the life force behind it, has endured.
So, what's the purpose, or the mission of each of our souls? In a broad sense, all of us have the same soul mission, which is to continue the life process; to see to it that all life (not just our own) carries on and that it does not come to an end. That's the big process, and it happens through evolution, as things grow and as they adapt. And the way that we grow is to fulfill our constantly evolving desires.
When the soul completes its purpose in this lifetime, the body that housed it ceases to exist. Some people tend to focus on death as a tragedy, particularly when considering a truly realized soul, like Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesus Christ, Princess Diana, or Christopher Reeve. This way of thinking can be misguided, or even ignorant, as these souls achieved more in their lifetimes than most people will ever achieve. Yet, people focus on the assassination, the crucifixion, the "tragedy" and they entirely miss the point. Dr. King paved the way for social justice with regard to race in America, which was quite a task in America during the 1960s. Jesus brought a new level of compassion to the world, reminding people of their inner God-like nature. Princess Diana used her royal status to raise funds for charity, exemplifying responsible use of power. Christopher Reeve, showed humankind how to be a true superhero by rising above extraordinary challenges. Reeve, a Superman actor, could have wallowed in self-pity after an accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. However, he chose to put his energy toward spinal cord research, to benefit children and adults in his position, thus paving the way to a brighter future for humanity. With focus and determination, he even managed to move a finger, despite the insistence of medical specialists that he would never move again.
To focus on the tragic death of these great souls is to miss the lessons God was teaching us through them. If you watch King's last speech, "I Have Been to the Mountaintop," you will realize that his soul knew that he would soon be leaving. He was that aligned with God. He knew his fate. His job was done. He had fulfilled his soul's mission on earth. That's what mattered. What more can any of us ask for?
In life, each soul has its own mission. Some souls are here to build things that will help humanity evolve. Other souls are meant to create beautiful works of art to help inspire and heal others, while some are meant to use their charisma as facilitators for change. The soul of the engineer has helped humanity expand its consciousness in ways we never thought possible, and to adapt to the world's growing population and evolving intellect. We see their footprint in some of the world's greatest creations: roads, bridges, intricate buildings, cars, airplanes, and spaceships. At the same time, some souls are born to lead and introduce new ideas into the world. Some souls are born to wield their power—directing others, becoming financially successful, or performing as top athletes. Take entrepreneurs and CEOs, for example. Their mission is to direct others, and to create and oversee large projects. Meanwhile, some souls are here to nurture others, to form strong networks of families and communities, and to become advocates for social justice. Some souls bring forth mastery and a higher frequency than most of humanity, which allows them to be true channels of divine knowledge. Regardless of a soul's purpose, they are all motivated by an evolutionary drive to sustain life.
Neale Donald Walsch wrote an insightful book called, When Everything Changes, Change Everything. In this book, he discusses how all change is for the better because it is life's way of sustaining itself. Clearly, each soul's mission is unique, yet we are here to carry out the same mission on a larger scale. Quite a bit has been written about finding out what each soul was put here to do. Theories are varied and date back to the times of Greek Philosopher and Mathematician, Pythagoras, who developed the modern number system, as well as the art of numerology. Numerology is based on the theory that all numbers vibrate at a certain energetic level, which is why subscribers believe that by knowing someone's birth date, you can predict their soul's mission. More recently, Career Intuitive, Sue Frederick, wrote books based specifically on discovering the soul's mission. Her work, in addition to the study of astrology, can be helpful to those interested in discovering their own soul's mission.
To figure out your life path using numerology, add all of the digits in your birth date and reduce them to a single digit (unless the sum is 11, 22, or 33, in which case, leave them as double digit numbers). Entire books have been written on numerology and a very small taste of the different numerological paths is outlined, below.
One-path souls need to be able to use their independence to innovate, create, and be number one.
Two-path souls need to use their sensitivity and peacemaking abilities to create harmony in relationships.
Three-path souls need to use their creative abilities to express themselves.
Four-path souls need to use their strong work ethic and organizational abilities to build something of practical purpose.
Five-path souls need freedom and variety to excel using their charisma.
Six-path souls need to nurture others, carry responsibility, and contribute to the welfare of humanity.
Seven-path souls need privacy and intellectual pursuits, especially those that are spiritual in nature.
Eight-path souls need to come into their great power and use it to improve the world.
Nine-path souls need to use their humanitarianism and wisdom to be of service.
Master soul numbers 11, 22, 33 are considered by numerologists to be more evolved and vibrate at a higher frequency than single- digit numbers. They have great potential and often equally great challenges in fulfilling that potential, but they are equipped to meet those challenges.
11-path souls are master spiritual messengers.
22-path souls are master builders of new ideas and creations.
33-path souls are master teachers and healers.
Your astrological sign offers hints of your soul path and can be used to determine what your soul needs in order to thrive.
Aries need to be able to use their courage to do their own thing and to have new, exciting adventures.
Taurus needs stability and simplicity to create something of function and sensual appeal.
Gemini need variety, stimulation, and to communicate with others.
Cancers need support and encouragement, as well as to trust their intuition and share their sweet sensitivity while safeguarding their delicate nervous systems.
Leos need an audience to whom they can express love and creativity on a grand scale.
Virgos need order and routine, as well as a way to put their highly analytical minds to use.
Libras need approval and balance in order to fulfill their creative endeavors and bring harmony to the lives of others.
Scorpios need to be in a position of power and live with deep meaning and curiosity in order to express their intense passion.
Sagittarians need freedom and adventure to share their wisdom and likeability with the world.
Capricorns need to use their strong work ethic to create security and bring their high ambitions to fruition.
Aquarians need independence to bring their progressive visions to the world.
Pisces need heart-centered and mystical pursuits so they can use their imagination and sensitivity in productive ways.
To find your soul's purpose, you can also look at your essence, the core of who you are, and pay attention to the aspects of yourself that people have noticed throughout your life. Has there been a common trait or characteristic that people have seen in you and that you have observed in yourself? You can use that feedback as another tool for discovery to hone in on your natural talents and abilities. Ask yourself what lights you up. What experiences come easily and joyfully to you? There are many tools you can use to discover the purpose of your soul, and to examine what lights you up in life and what feels natural to you.
Knowing what feels natural to you is an important part of the discovery process. For instance, not everyone is here to be the president of the United States. Many people would find that job to be terrifying, but to the right person, it's perfect. There's always a right person for any kind of job. When considering how to spend your time, consider what feels natural, what feels intuitively right to you. Don't worry about what other people think, or if there's a job in that field, or whether you can make money, and you'll be on the right track to finding your soul's purpose.
Of course, there may be times in your life when you absolutely need to make a certain amount of money to get by, and in that case you may have to do the soul searching during your free time. It's important to be practical and grounded, and to make those decisions that will ultimately benefit you. During these periods, remember to consider the grand scheme of life. Doing so will help you move toward your goal of doing what you love, and along the way, you will attract what you need to do it. Just as it wouldn't make sense for God to put a flower on this earth to be a tree, it doesn't make sense that God would put you here to do something you dislike or that is not natural to you. You'll find that when you do what's right for you —when you do what you love —you attract people and opportunities that will assist you in your endeavor. This attraction occurs because when you express what's inside of you, you love more strongly, and people want to be around people who are full of love. It may take time, but if you can face life with a practical and strategic approach to spirituality, you'll eventually get to a place you love, and the riches follow.
My soul made a commitment in this life to heal and uplift the loving energy of the world. As a highly sensitive and compassionate 33 life path, in numerology, and as a Leo, I am meant to use my creativity to help the people of the world embody deep love in their lives. As I mentioned at the beginning of the introduction, I was recently going through my childhood belongings, sifting through items I hadn't seen in 30 years. In addition to the ice skating program, I found a third-grade school assignment where I was asked to draw a picture of what I was good at and the occupation I would like to have in the future. I drew a picture of myself on a stage with a microphone talking to a large audience. Next to me is a Holy Book, a symbol of spiritual teachings. Spiritual teaching and channeling love to a large audience was my destiny. While I lacked a conscious awareness during my younger years as to why I was who I was and why I was having certain experiences, I always knew that I was drawn to help the downtrodden, the heartbroken, the marginalized, and the disenfranchised.
I was given everything I needed to fulfill my mission of uplifting others, including harsh experiences and low self-esteem in my younger years. Without those experiences, I would not have the ability to deeply understand and to relate to the people whom I serve. I have been where they are and I have conquered that space. Helen Keller described the nature of soul development astutely when she said, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." From someone who once had low self-esteem to someone who now has confidence, I can guide others to make similar internal transformations. Because of my soul's make-up and the earthly experiences I have endured, I can tell you that feeling badly about yourself goes against God's will. Don't ever, ever, feel badly about yourself. Do you understand me? It hurts you and it hurts everyone around you. You are beautiful. You are special. You are LOVE. Remember this truth always.
You, too, made an agreement with God before entering this realm. That agreement may or may not be clear to you at this moment, but everything in your life is set up to facilitate the fulfillment of your agreement. Make no mistake about it. Regardless of the route we each take to discover our mission in life, we must remember along the way that when we are out of sync with our soul's purpose, we are not connected to our love. Being out of sync with the soul's purpose is especially apparent in people working in jobs they find meaningless or who stay in relationships that bring them down. The disconnection between self and soul makes it difficult for people to feel loved, or to feel loving toward others. Not being aligned with their soul's purpose, they are unable to feel the love that flows in and out as it does naturally when they've unlocked their mission. When you fulfill your soul's purpose, you know it, simply because work doesn't feel like it's really work. It feels like love, because your work and your love are aligned.
True spiritual alignment is an inside and an outside job. When you are connected to God-Life-Love, you feel passion and fulfillment with all that you do, even in mundane tasks. Yet, it's important to ensure that your soul is nurtured by the tasks, jobs, relationships, and activities you choose to have in your life. If it's not, the path of fulfillment can be more difficult to achieve.
Life and the soul's purpose encompass more than just work. Rest and play are essential parts of the holistic way to love. While everything in nature is in constant flux, they also enjoy time to simply be. For example, a flower shares its beauty, and a dog happily plays fetch with its guardian. In other words, nature is not always working on "growth." The Sabbath and the origins of Judaism, which have been adopted by many religions, reveal the ancient wisdom of rest. Any time you're focused on doing just one thing, it causes an imbalance, which takes you away from love. If you're just working or striving, chances are your life is not truly fulfilling and it's out of balance. We all have a natural tendency to be in balance, and to experience all of the great aspects of life, including relaxation.
Let's look deeper at identifying your soul's purpose, which can be a challenge for many people. They might struggle with the task of wrapping all their skills and talents into a single purpose, and that's OK. A soul can have more than one purpose, and when it is aligned with its purpose(s), you radiate, you grow without limits, and you can actually engage in many different activities as forms of self-expression. Let's say you like to write, to coach people, and you enjoy humor a lot. You can find different avenues to incorporate all these aspects into your life, or you can find one avenue that allows you to express all of them at once. It may be that you do many different things in your life, and that you have many different careers or aspects of your career, but if you're manifesting your soul purpose in helping humanity evolve, then you are truly fulfilling your soul's purpose. The point is, don't fret if you don't have it all figured out or if you weren't one of those kids who knew exactly what you wanted to be when you grew up. Furthermore, it is precisely our life experiences, including the trials and tribulations, that help us know who we are. The very act of exploration and self-discovery is a critical part of the soul's purpose. Whether it's through romantic relationships, career, or any other facet of life, the more experiences you have, the better. The better you get to know yourself, your likes, your dislikes, your strengths, and your weaknesses, the more clearly defined your soul becomes. The school of life is the best education you will ever receive, so keep livin', baby!
Excerpted from The HEART of SELF-LOVE by HEATHER HANS. Copyright © 2013 Heather Hans. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 The Soul, 1,
Chapter 2 The Body, 16,
Chapter 3 Relationships, 33,
Chapter 4 Education, 55,
Chapter 5 Social Justice, 69,
Chapter 6 Standards of Excellence, 85,
Chapter 7 Lifestyle, 103,
Chapter 8 Mental Health and Addiction, 117,
Chapter 9 Spirituality and Religion, 137,
Chapter 10 True Love, 152,
Chapter 11 Humor and Creative Expression, 165,
Chapter 12 Work and Giving, 174,
Chapter 13 Pleasure, 182,