The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

by Greg Gutfeld

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Overview

The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage by Greg Gutfeld

From the conservative comedic star of Fox News' Red Eye and The Five, hilarious observations on the manufactured outrage of an oversensitive, sissified culture.

Greg Gutfeld hates tolerance. At the root of every single major political conflict is the annoying coddling Americans must endure of these harebrained liberal hypocrisies. In fact, most of the time liberals uses the mantle of tolerance as a guise for their pathetic intolerance. And what we really need is smart intolerance, or as Gutfeld reminds us, what we used to be call common sense.

The Joy of Hate
takes this conundrum head on—replacing the idiocy of openmindness with a shrewd judgmentalism that rejects stupid ideas, notions, and people. With countless examples grabbed from the headlines, Gutfeld provides readers with the enormous tally of what pisses us all off, for example:
- The double standard: you can make fun of Christians, but God forbid Muslims. It's okay to call a woman a whore, as long as she's a Republican. And no problem if you're a bigot, as long as you're black. 
- The demonizing of the Tea Party and romanticizing of the Occupy Wall Streeters.
- People who are always offended (see MSNBC lineup)
- How critics of Obamacare or illegal immigration are somehow immediately labelled racists.
- The endless debate over the Ground Zero Mosque (which Gutfeld planned to open a gay strip club next to).
- As well as pretentious music criticism, slow moving ceiling fans and snotty restaurant hostesses.

Funny and sarcastic to the point of mean (but in a nice way), The Joy of Hate points out the true jerks in this society and tells them all off.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780307986962
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 11/13/2012
Pages: 256
Product dimensions: 6.38(w) x 9.34(h) x 0.92(d)

About the Author

Greg Gutfeld is the host of Red Eye on the Fox News Channel. He is also one of five co-hosts/panelists on Fox News political talk-show The Five. He blogs at The Daily Gut and is author of The Bible of Unspeakable Truths.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1

THE TOLERANT Tadpole

Being a teenager in the seventies can be boiled down to two words: shoulder acne. But also something called “feelings.” Feelings, nothing more than feelings. That’s what it was all about. For most of us, that decade amounted to one big encounter group, where every day was a reminder that you were really mean, you were an oppressor, and you needed to heed other people’s feelings (and then, of course, your own, as a method of important self-discovery). If you didn’t cry in front of a group of men with beards, then you hadn’t really done anything in life. And there had better be Dan Fogelberg playing in the background.

I have no proof of this (other than having had two normal parents and sets of grandparents), but I get the feeling previous generations would have found the idea of putting feelings before thinking as silly. They had other crap to deal with, like fighting diseases and war. There was also that Depression thing (not the coastal health problem, but the historical period), which, from my research, entailed a lot of young children with dirty faces selling newspapers with the word depression above the fold. They must have been annoying. Too bad they were (technically) not edible.

But as a teenager, I was now being taught, by folks with little common sense but a lot of acoustic guitars, about other cultures and how superior they were to ours. The flip side was, of course, how mean the United States was toward the rest of the world, and how mean I was, as a tool of that insidious military-industrial complex. (Note: When I first heard “military-industrial complex,” I thought it was the coolest thing. How could that be seen as wrong? A country that prides itself on both the military and its industry has to be awesome. Somehow, we went from having a military-industrial complex to having a complex about our military and industry.)

At school, I learned—by accident, really—how to fake caring. I went to a Jesuit Catholic all-boys high school (the team name: Padres), which might conjure up a repressive atmosphere full of belt beatings, angry elderly priests, and hours dangling from a gym rope in tight red shorts. With the exception of the tight red shorts—a fashion that’s stayed with me, incidentally—all of that is false. Most of my instructors were earnest types—students of the sixties, well versed in feelings, interested in opening your mind and your soul (translation: Please smirk whenever Ronald Reagan’s name is mentioned). This meant sex ed that went a little too far in some places, and religion classes that dove full force into politics. By the early 1980s, we were speaking less about God and more about Central America. There was stuff going on in El Salvador—which I thought was a Lucha libre wrestler—and America surely was at fault. As a student, I edited a school paper devoted to that very idea. I wrote a column called “Frisbee Warfare”—a clever title about importing American values into places where it shouldn’t be. Teachers loved it because it showed I had “feelings” about the world that matched theirs.

Not that I was an expert in this stupid crap, but I knew it “felt” right. It must be right—the “cool” teacher likes me! Surely America was big and El Salvador was small, so we had to be the aggressor. The David–Goliath story line drives everything in the media. And why not? People love it when the little guy beats the big guy, even if the big guy is good. Even if the big guy is you. If you ask me now what the whole mess was about down there, I’d be lying if I told you I had a clue. But pretending to care got me a pretty good grade, and taught me that liberal teachers were a soft touch. Expressing your feelings, coming from the nexus of manufactured rage and tolerance—this was the thing that paved a way to academic success. (And later, Obama’s ascendancy to the presidency.)

It was around that time, in high school, that the idea of nuclear disarmament was gaining momentum across the liberal parts of the nation, and especially California. And so I collected signatures for something called “the nuclear freeze.” If you asked me what it was, again, as with most things political, I’d have no clue. You could have convinced me it was something you get off an ice cream truck, or even a Finnish sex act involving a popsicle. I think it actually had something to do with getting a bill passed that would make it illegal to transport nuclear arms on California turf. From a lefty point of view, it’s a perfect cause to get behind: after all it’s based on the simple romantic notion that all weapons are bad, even if those weapons might protect you from bad people who are busy making the very same weapons to kill you with. But by having those evil weapons, that makes you no better than the bad people who want to kill you. To accept this premise, you must ignore the reality around you—i.e., the fact that what kept our enemies at bay was the fear that we would annihilate them. Because of that fear, we never had to actually push a button. Just having the button was enough. It’s like owning a Prius. You don’t have to use it. Just having it is the statement. (But this Prius actually had purpose, for it could protect the Western world.)

Did I believe in the nuclear freeze? No. But I believed in getting extra credit. And that’s what I would be getting if I collected the signatures. My memory is about as clear as bog mud, but I remember that I could boost my grade (taking a B to a B+, for example) for my religion class if I gathered twenty signatures from in front of St. Gregory’s Church on Hacienda Street. You could say I found religion. It helped that I wore a sleeveless half shirt. Like a rat getting its edible pellets, I discovered that fake caring could reap rewards. In this case I’d get a higher GPA, which would ultimately get me into a college, where these liberal assumptions would surely be further reinforced (in my case, Berkeley, home of the Cal Bears and homeless defecators who track their own carbon footprint).

But feeling, instead of thinking, can only get you so far, and sometimes you have to start thinking and abandon feeling. For me, thinking began during a high school debate on nuclear disarmament. I was arguing against mutually assured destruction, again from my heart and not my brain. As I mentioned in my previous book, The Bible of Unspeakable Truths, my opponent surgically destroyed my arguments so convincingly that he did one thing generally impossible to do in an argument—he changed my mind. It was then I realized that while playing the well-meaning tolerant individual (in short: liberal) garnered you fans and grades, it didn’t matter. In my heart and head I was a fraud.

College, for most of us, was nothing if not an instructional guide to the concept of repressive tolerance. I learned early, from high school, that phony outrage about an issue you do not understand is rewarded, but I saw it in full force when expressed by college students, who were really up on the game. Side by side with their instructors, they made the grade by hitting the streets. And later, Kinkos, to print flyers featuring the key word “oppressive,” which could describe their body odor.

At Berkeley, I found myself surrounded by purveyors of repressive tolerance, a group of pointless freaks who might have been the most strident, intolerant automatons I’d ever come across. And it was their tolerance that masked their own fascism—their strident beliefs made opposing beliefs unacceptable. I’ve said it before: The more caring they were on the street, the less they cared at home. Sure, they worried about the dietary deficiencies of Guatemalen water snakes, but they’d never pay their “fair share” for food. They were the worst roommates in the world. If it was their turn to buy toilet paper, you can bet you’d be on the bowl using pages from Mother Jones. (I still use Mother Jones for that. The articles by David Corn tickle.)

It was there, at Cal, that I discovered what I could not tolerate. And that was the loudmouth, ultratolerant, shrieking outrage junkies who demanded I think the same. One night, walking home from the library, I came upon a “march” for God knows what. There were a lot of marches at Berkeley in the eighties, and frankly I lost track of causes. It’s sort of like a giant incubator where parades gestate. If they weren’t about apartheid or homelessness, they were about transgender issues or starving pandas with substance-abuse problems. (I seem to remember Poo-Paw, a panda addicted to crack cocaine who’d fallen on hard times and was now turning tricks in the Chinese province of Gansu. But that’s another story for another time. Please remind me when you see me—it’ll bring a tear to your eye.) But this particular group was very loud, very female, and so very outraged about everything. On the sidewalk I sank into my jacket as I walked with my books (some “borrowed” from the library), while they chanted “No means no, no means no” over and over again. I felt their eyes on me. And sure enough they were. (Then again, I was addicted to cough syrup during that sophomore year, so this could all have been a hallucination. I remember spending most of my nights arguing with a poster of Heather Thomas.)

Now, I get the concept “no means no,” but you’re wasting that precious energy on me. Just to clarify: I’m not a rapist. I’ve never contended that no means, “Sure.” It didn’t matter. I was the target of their raging rage machine and I would have no choice but to take it. My no apparently doesn’t mean no at all. Anyway, they yelled at me, wild-eyed and gesturing, convincing me to avoid eye contact, speed up to a semi-jog, and scamper through a driveway and up the side stairs of the dilapidated fraternity I called home.

It was at this point in my life that I developed a very simple theory, something I call negative identity formation—or NIF for short. Through NIF, I found out who I really was. Through rejection of an abundance of beliefs, discrimination against earnest ideas, and intolerance of those who were trying too hard to be different, I found out that hate isn’t so bad after all.

I mean, without it, where would I be? I would be marching for anything and everything. I’d protest for the sake of protest simply because every issue is the same: just a conduit to express rage as a method to raise my own self-esteem. And so I embraced my own narrow-mindedness, because without it I would have become an amorphous blob, floating through life, incapable of making decisions or even the bed (like most lifelong “activists” who are currently avoided by their relatives). And I realized that by refusing to make concrete, narrowed decisions about your life, you’ll be living on the street in a refrigerator box—which isn’t a bad thing if that street is, say, on sunny College Avenue, where a bum can cultivate a yearlong lustrous tan. But the bottom line, the overarching idea of intolerance—not liking things—actually makes you a better person. You cannot go through life being tolerant of everything, unless you’re Deepak Chopra, who is a living hologram making millions off unhappy people, only to spend it on embarrassing caftans and nervous assistants.

But I want to be clear: Being an intolerant person doesn’t mean you wish to impose your beliefs on others. I can hate people but at the same time be completely fine and even encourage them to live whatever life they lead. Fact is: I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. When a gay man tweets me, saying, “I’m tired of people judging me on my sexuality,” my feeling is, Then stop tweeting about it. I don’t care if you’re gay. I do care, however, if you’re an idiot. I hate idiots. Gay or straight. But when it comes to lifestyle choices that cause no harm, have at it. Send me pictures. High-def, preferably.

Gay marriage is a perfect example. I don’t believe a human being has a right to tell another human being whom they can love or whom they can marry. At this point you might hear the response, “Well, what’s next? People marrying dogs?” Well, if you wanna go there, sure, marry a dog. Some of these little poodles are kind of hot, in a Nicole Richie sort of way. Just pick up the poop after your spouse and I’m okay. My wife does it for me, and we’re very happy.

But if I’m running a business, I don’t want to pay for your dog’s health insurance, even if he is your spouse. So that’s where my tolerance ends. Same with polygamists. Sure, marry all the women (or men) you want, but if I’m your boss, I ain’t paying all those insurance premiums. I would go bankrupt. So there are limits to tolerance.

Fact is, though I am proudly intolerant, I don’t want to have any part in dictating what people do in their bedrooms, or their lives. But I also don’t want an activist getting in my face (or in my pants), telling me who I should accept or what I shouldn’t. You do no one any favors by screaming at Mormons or Catholics because they think only men and women should marry each other. (How funny is it that gay activists stay away from black churches; it’s the same hypocrisy you see with the animal rights group PETA. They’ll throw paint on a white guy wearing ostrich boots, but they’d never do that to a Native American strangling a bald eagle to make a feather headdress.)

Organized religion has done a lot of great things for society (in some ways, ensuring that it existed), so bear with the parts you find ridiculous. You’re winning that battle anyway. More and more Americans are fine with gay marriage, and I hope in a decade or so I will be able to marry my Pekinese, Captain Furfoot, in a tasteful wedding on the beach. And if you don’t tolerate that, fine—I just don’t want to hear about it. But I swear it’s going to be a great wedding, and I condemn you if you don’t allow me to follow my bliss.

People ask me what I am politically, and I’ve previously offered this equation: I became a conservative by being around liberals. And I became a libertarian by being around conservatives.

Table of Contents

Contents
Introduction
The Tolerant Tadpole
My Big Fat Gay Muslim Bar
The War on Moobs
Fluked for Life
The Bigot Spigot
The Vagina Demagogues
Butch Cassidy and the Subsidized Kid
A Really Bad Day at the Office
Borders Ain’t Nothing but a Bookstore
Working at the Death Star
A Pack of Lies
Winners and Looters
The Pirates of Penance
I’m Okay, You Should Die
Loan Rangers
Poop Stars
Stalin Grads
The Joke Stops Here
Roll Models
The Pig Pass
Harmed Forces
The Song Remains So Lame
Fat Kids Are the Biggest Targets
Skeptic Tank
Woolly Bullies
The Bard of Brentwood
The End of Hate
Thanks ’n’ Stuff

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“Gutfeld is like Voltaire if Voltaire were actually funny.” —Dennis Miller
 
“Greg Gutfeld is a sweet, hysterical, evil genius. Liberals fear him because whenever they look down their noses, they see him. Or at least the top of his head. This is a man who would take time out from starring in two daily television shows just to help someone who has fallen down on the sidewalk. Mainly because it would be so funny to watch him fall. Viva Gutfeld!” —Ann Coulter
 
“According to the Internet, Mother Teresa once defined Joy as ‘a net of love by which you can catch souls.’ In The Joy of Hate, Greg Gutfeld continues her mission—in a completely different way. Hilarious, outrageous, and brilliant, this is the best book on how to think about your fellow man since Atlas Shrugged, and the best book on how to deal with your enemies since The Anarchist’s Cookbook.” —Jonah Goldberg
 
“It’s hard to get through a page of The Joy of Hate without collapsing in tears of laughter. With every paragraph, I’d stop and say ‘You won’t believe what he just said.’ The truth hurts.” —Dana Perino, former White House press secretary, Gutfeld’s cohost on The Five
 
“Greg Gutfeld is this generation’s Mark Twain. Or is that this generation’s Shania Twain? What I’m trying to say is he looks great in a skirt. Also, this book is funny as hell.” —Dan Bova, editor in chief, Maxim magazine
 
“Anger is like sex. It feels good but it’s exhausting—and we often think it’s better if we include more people. But as Greg Gutfeld aptly illustrates, words of outrage should be saved for things that truly are outrageous, or you will ultimately lose all your friends and drive yourself crazy. I, for one, cannot recommend this book strongly enough, and it has nothing to do with my relationship with the author.” —Greg Gutfeld

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The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 71 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Amazes me that someone would take the time to write a negative review! I never miss The Five... and watch Red Eye when I can stay awake. In another life Greg was probably my son. Either you "get him" or you don't. Hes an expert at using sarcasm to point out the pathetic truth of the "tolerant" who are the most intolerant critters since man stood upright. The tolerant among us have no patience with anyone who disagrees with them..... and they are angry if you dare to have a different point of view. Makes me wonder if their need to be cool and "with it" supercedes common sense and at some level they know it , and know that we know they know it. Rather than admit it they use anger and labels to distance themselves from us.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Author points out how ridiculous liberal arguments are. They are so asinine that I do not see how people can support many of the things liberals say with a straight face. Because of this, the book is very funny and oh so true. Keep it up Greg because I think we all need to laugh and who better to laugh at than liberals who think they know it all.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Dont be fooled by the liars giving 1 star just because he is a republican. This book is just funny, witty and great
MSGalligan More than 1 year ago
Tremendously funny book that sheds a light on all things hypocritical and hysterical about the modern Left. Gutfeld offers charmingly twisted and honest interpretations of today's phony outrage and the way Liberal America uses "tolerance" to bludgeon any form of debate. A must read if you're truly sick of today's mock- incredulity.
Tunguz More than 1 year ago
Greg Gutfeld is one of the rising stars on Fox News channel, and one of my favorite TV personalities overall. His edgy and snarky humor will appeal to anyone who has grown up with South Park and similar forms of irreverent humor that takes on some relevant current issue. He manages to weave social commentary with irreverent statement that titter on the edge of what can be said on primetime television.  In “The Joy of Hate” Gutfeld takes on the notion that the ultimate arbiter of validity of one’s arguments is whether or not it offends any particular group. We’ve come a long way away from the society where we are indeed free to speak our mind, and even the political correctness of recent years is starting to seem mild in comparison to all the “anti hate” rhetoric that we have today. Gutfeld walks us through his own political and ideological transformation in his early youth and explains where he comes from. He is unapologetically libertarian, and many of his more conservative fans will find some of his statements almost as objectionable as do his critics on the let. Nonetheless, it is refreshing and indeed fun to read Gutfeld’s prose and his unabashed criticism of various sacred cows.  I watch Gutfeld often on The Five, and while reading this book I could totally hear his voice in my head. The book is a fun and easy to read, but it is mostly preaching to the choir. It is unlikely to convert anyone who is already committed to the narrative of “hate” and the ways that it supposedly needs to be curtailed. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One of the best books to come along in awhile. Greg Gutfeld addresses today's issues in a factual and humerous way. And I especially loved the fact that there is not one word that can be construed as that wimpy political correctness. Gutfeld seems to think like me- - the words "political correctness" are not in his dictionary.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Those who can't tolerate the truth whine about it. Greg's observations are spot on! You'll find yourself laughing out loud reading TJOH...unless you're a liberal. Or have no sense humor. Could be lacking in common sense too. Which would mean...oh never mind. You'd have to have to posses both to understand what he's saying in the first place. So you're probably not going to be reading this book. Shame. =) There's a whole lot more people out here thinking what he's saying. Read The Joy Of Hate. And laugh along the way finding out what and why! Thanks Greg!
KateP85 More than 1 year ago
I love Greg. He's awesome on the Five and amazing on the Red Eye. He has many common sense ideas and points out a lot of things that just cracks me up. I am ordering this book and love the reviews. :) If you want truth and no coddling I think Greg's book will be great.
LolasMomBB More than 1 year ago
Gutfeld is a word smith beyond belief!
britsmom7 More than 1 year ago
Greg Gutfeld's incites into the world of the "tolerati" will make you think, seethe and laugh your head off. It's a quick, witty read, filled with head-on collisions with issues dear to liberal hearts. Conservatives and moderates - anyone with with a working mind and a sense of humor, for that matter - will love it. Viva Gutfuld!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Now I understand why I am a conservative!!
Pocono_Charlie More than 1 year ago
Excellent read; witty, insightful, and entertaining.  If you have an open mind, you'll enjoy this.  All others will hate it, but that's the point.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Good analysis. Very funny
TonyKoch More than 1 year ago
The book is awesome I have laughed my butt off on every page, and the book really hits home on the crazy tom foolery that goes on in this day in age. The "intolerance" that goes on now a days by those pointing the fingers at everyone and especially the media who are moon bat crazy is tiresome. Gut speaks the truth that will not be found on the main stream media nor anywhere else now a days. As we go into the second reign of Obama ... I will read this book over and over to maintain my sanity as more and more of my life gets dictated to me by the "Dear Leader: and his cult members who are ever ready to tell everyone else how to liver their life while their life is a steaming pile of feces....
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I watch Greg Gutfeld on "The Five" and wasn't sure exactly where he stood on many issues, but this book is funny while at the same time shows the differences between Liberals and Conservatives. The sad part is that we can't see the other person's perspective on many issues and he states very well why this is such a shame and the fact that we can't seem to appreciate and accept other people's ideas and then go on with our lives. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and believe he is a very smart man who gets his points across with humor and not anger. What a relief to see in today's politics.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Indeed!
Sosohappy More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Laughed out loud numerous times
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book! Gutfeld uses humor to expose the irony of liberal tolerance! It is very easy to read and holds your attention. If you are a greg gutfeld fan, you will thoroughly enjoy his wit and rhetoric in The Joy of Hate.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is exactly why my internal clock wakes me up in the middle of the night for Red Eye (if only I could figure out the DVR thing I could get some sleep). So looking forward to Not Cool and I'm going to start Unspeakable Truths today
ruthhill74 More than 1 year ago
Well, what can I say? This book is written by Greg Guntfeld, the co-host of "The Five" and "Red Eye" on Fox News. I became a big fan of his over the past year. I love the fact that he is funny, sarcastic, and completely irreverent. And his book is full of straight talk just like his reporting style. This is Greg Gutfeld uncensored, so be warned that there is a lot of profanity and issues that are covered that are completely inappropriate but necessary. If you have thin skin, this is not for you. He makes fun of everything and all sides of the issue. He is also a libertarian, but amazingly, he is basically conservative. I agree with him on almost everything. Honestly. The most thought-provoking chapter concerned the government's all-out war on weight loss and eating healthily. I'm not trying to spoil anything for anyone, but let me just say that his contrasting weight loss and bedroom behavior made me stop and think about this issue in a completely different light. I never found myself getting angry at him during the book. What you see with Greg is what you get. You could often tell when he was being serious and when he was not. He speaks a lot of truth encased in humor and sarcasm. and you will not leave the book wondering what he thinks about certain issues. If you are ready to be challenged and possibly even offended, this is a definitely the book for you. I own this book, and no one paid me anything to write this review. The author has no idea I own the book, and he doesn't even know who I am. So he did not influence my review in any way.
pinkjezabel More than 1 year ago
Witty Sense of Humor, a must read. Not for the faint hearted. Greg makes fun of the intolerant without being mean spirited. He has facts to back up his statements.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Greg has a great sense of humor. He is a deep thinker. If you are not a fan, you need to have an open mind when you read this. What he says makes sense. I actually learned thing from him.