The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out

The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out

by William Dameron


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A candid memoir of denial, stolen identities, betrayal, faking it, and coming out.

Do you know me?, the email began, sparking tremors of fear that turned into a full quake of panic when William Dameron discovered that his selfie had been stolen by strangers. On social networks and dating sites, his image and identity—a forty-year-old straight white male—had been used to hook countless women into believing in lies of love and romance. Was it all an ironic cosmic joke? Almost a decade prior, William himself had been living a lie that had lasted for more than twenty years. His secret? He was a gay man, a fact he hid from his wife and two daughters for almost as long as he had hidden it from himself.

In this emotional and unflinchingly honest memoir of coming out of the closet late in life, owning up to the past, and facing the future, William Dameron confronts steroid addiction, the shame and homophobia of his childhood, the sledgehammer of secrets that slowly tore his marriage apart, and his love for a gay father of three that would once again challenge the boundaries of trust. At the true heart of The Lie is a universal story about turning self-doubt into self-acceptance and about pain, anger, and the long journey of both seeking and giving forgiveness.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781542044738
Publisher: Amazon Publishing
Publication date: 07/01/2019
Pages: 286
Sales rank: 501,107
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

William Dameron is an award-winning blogger, memoirist, and essayist. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, Salon, the Huffington Post, Saranac Review, Hippocampus Magazine, and in the book Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi & Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life. He is an IT director for a global economic consulting firm, where he educates users on the perils of social engineering in cybersecurity. William, his husband, and their blended family of five children split their time between Boston and the coast of southern Maine. For more information, visit the author at

Table of Contents

Author's Note xv

Prologue 1

Part I 5

Chapter 1 Metamorphosis 7

Chapter 2 Daruma 11

Chapter 3 Coffee Name 25

Chapter 4 Locker Room Talk 41

Chapter 5 Stop the Clocks 55

Chapter 6 Everything Is Fine 65

Chapter 7 Daddy's Home 77

Chapter 8 Sinking Ship 87

Chapter 9 The Lost Gold Mine 89

Part II 99

Chapter 10 Kindertotenlieder 101

Chapter 11 Never Can Say Goodbye 105

Chapter 12 Now You Know 115

Chapter 13 Number Two 125

Chapter 14 Reality TV 135

Chapter 15 Lost and Found 143

Chapter 16 The Other Bill 155

Chapter 17 Matchmaker 163

Chapter 18 264 Haircuts 173

Chapter 19 Jagged Little Pill 181

Chapter 20 One Night in Singapore 187

Chapter 21 Group Therapy 195

Chapter 22 What about Bob? 207

Chapter 23 A Terminal Condition 217

Chapter 24 Don't Say It 231

Chapter 25 My Adult Walk 233

Chapter 26 Where Have You Been? 243

Chapter 27 The Face of Deception 247

Chapter 28 Giving Up Completely 253

Chapter 29 Lighting Dark Spaces 261

Acknowledgments 267

About the Author 269

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