Much like Chairman Mao's compilation of hilarious witticisms published during Communist China's zany Cultural Revolution back in the day, this little red book is an uproarious collection of pointless nonsense and senseless drivel dedicated to the countless enlightened leftists still annoyingly omnipresent in our present era.
Filled with pun-ridden put-downs and wise-ass wordplay, this remarkable anthology offers unenlightened readers like yourself a refreshing alternative to the more conventional fare of lowbrow humor you are undoubtedly accustomed to. It will tickle your fancy with jeering jibes and sarcastic swipes taken at the expense of those who would rule over us as they relentlessly pursue a more progressive and enlightened new world order.
But just who are these enlightened leftists of the enlightened left, you ask? I’m glad you did. Enlightened leftists are those who believe that man is “perfectible.” Woman, too! Oh brother. They believe in equality in a world in which equality cannot exist. They are the ones who have the “solutions” to all of our problems. Oddly, many of these problems are the direct result of earlier failed enlightened leftist solutions but they adamantly refuse to admit that there is any connection here, of course.
The enlightened left are “the too optimistic” and “the too naïve” with the all too good intentions. Tragically, they are also unaware of their inherent limitations as individuals. They refuse to see that individual human beings are simply not able to fully understand all the ramifications of the ambitious enlightened leftist reforms they repeatedly try to introduce. They are rationalists whose reason is not sufficient to point out the limitations of reason.
The enlightened left are those who refuse to leave the rest of us alone. They are the nannies, the pro-collectivist, the anti-self-reliant, the redistributors and interventionists who have become so intrusive in our lives today. Incapable of accepting the idea of government as an evolved and systemic process producing results indirectly, a system of negation within which an individual can develop and think freely on his or her own (a “don't do this, don't do that” model), enlightened leftists insist on actively intervening in the lives of their subjects instead, with ever new solutions that never manage to deliver the results they were intended to (a “do this, do that” model).
Enlightened leftists are paternal. They are autocratic. They are above the law, or at least certainly headed in that direction. They are the people who say “we are from the government and are here to help”.
Although generally not known for their sense of humor (telling others how to live their lives and what to think is no laughing matter), enlightened leftists nevertheless provide us with a near endless source of comic delight. Well, they do me. This little red book is a modest attempt to tap into that vital source. I hope you will enjoy reading it. I also hope you will remember to buy a few additional copies for your friends and family. I am told it makes a wonderful gift idea, an ideal present for the any perfect or near-perfect stranger you might bump into unexpectedly. It is a small book and very easy to carry on your person. I carry three of them with me at all times. I am doing it now as I write these very lines, for example.
In closing, please try to keep two things constantly in mind while reading The Little Red Book: First of all, the enlightened left mean well. Honestly. They really do. Secondly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
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About the Author
Dazed and confused about Germany in general and Berlin in particular, Hermann Observer (aka Clarsonimus Maximus) is a mean, angry, cynical and nasty old expatriate American [place favorite expletive here] who observes the world around him in quiet desperation.