I need you, Ava.
I am desperate. For you. For touch. For a kiss. For the scrape of your hand down my stomach. For the slide of your lips across my hipbone. The sweep of your thigh against mine in the dulcet, drowning darkness. For the warm huff of your breath on my skin and the wet suck of your mouth around me and the building pressure of need reaching release...I am mad with need.
Wild with it.
I cannot have you. I have lost you, as I have lost myself.
And so I go in search. Of myself, and thus the man who might return to you, and take you in his arms.
I loathe each of the thousands of miles between us, but I cannot wish them away, for I hope at the end of my journey I shall find you. Or rather, find myself, and thus...you. Myself, and thus us.
I am taking the long way home, Ava.
* * *
I'm losing my mind, and I don't know how to stop it. I shouldn't be writing to you, but I am. I'm friendless, loveless, and lifeless. You're out there somewhere, and still you're all I really have. I hate my reliance and dependence on you, emotionally and otherwise, and that reliance is something I'm coming to recognize. I hate that I can't hate you as much as I want to. I hate that I still love you so much.
I hate that there's no clear solution to our conundrum. Even if we could forgive each other, what then?
I hate you, Christian. I really do.
But most of all, I don't.
Complicatedly (still) yours,
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 ++++++ Brilliant, Emotional Stars!!!! The Long Way Home is one of the most brilliant, emotional, and raw books I have ever read! There aren’t enough stars to ever illustrate what a phenomenal book it was. I knew from reading the synopsis it was going to be a painful story, and it was. You will need tissues! Ava and Christian had everything until they didn’t. This is a book about how people deal with grief, and how it affects the other. It was written mostly through emails, blogging, and journal entries. That was genius on Jasinda Wilder’ s part…it deeply connected me with both characters. I felt each emotion they felt, the title couldn’t have been more perfect! I have read Wilder’s books in the past, and I read them because she always knows how to touch my heart…both with happiness and sadness. I have to say I don’t think a book has affected as much as this one. Do yourself a favor and grab this one today! I can’t wait for the second one in the series! ****Read and Reviewed for Devilishly Delicious Books****
4.5 stars--Like the story line itself, my review will be differ from the norm-my norm-or how I usually put my thoughts to words. Like most reviewers I follow an outline, rarely depart from a prescribed pattern but there are occasions when a reviewer, and in this case, an author, follows a path that is both familiar and yet, not. Such is the case with Jasinda Wilder’s THE LONG WAY HOME focusing on Ava and Christian St. Pierre, a married couple who barely survived a devastating loss- a death that destroyed their marriage but not their love. THE LONG WAY HOME follows Christian as he embarks on a journey around the world to escape the desperation and heartbreaking grief that has consumed the woman he once loved. A voyage of discovery that will help Christian St. Pierre find the person he once was or the man that he should be. Told from first, second and third person points of view through introspective thoughts, email, journal entries, blogs, present day, past, and the memories of what was and what may never be, THE LONG WAY HOME is a story about death and loss; grief and heartache; and one couple’s struggle to survive the fall out of their marriage, their friendship, their relationship, their love. Jasinda Wilder’s use of symbolism, amplification, imagery and metaphors sets the mood and tone for a story that reads more like poetry than prose. Ava and Christian’s stream of consciousness, represented through correspondence, emails and letters illustrate the pain and the depth of emotion of one couple’s spiral into the depths of grief, not only over their mutual loss and heartache, but the loss of affection, understanding, compassion and love. There is a fine line between love and hate, and it is this line that our couple traverses throughout the story. Together our couple is unable to move forward; separately, they will learn that loneliness is better than being alone. THE LONG WAY HOME is an emotional story line; a tragic look at grief and loss; a profound, intense and dramatic tale. Poetic in its’ presentation THE LONG WAY HOME is a thought provoking and heartbreaking essay about one couple trying to find their way back home.
The loss of a child is unlike any pain a parent could imagine. For Christian and Ava - life was pretty much perfect for the couple. Their romance, marriage, and then the birth of their child all were the ‘dream’ that everyone wishes for in life. Then things took a drastic turn when their son lost his fight, and his death shadowed the couple. A grief so profound and unimaginable. Ava coped with the loss by removing herself from life. Figuratively and literally. She no longer responded to eating, sleeping, or any other part of daily routines. A shadow of the woman she once was. Christian tried to reach out to his wife, but was coping with the loss all on his own. Nothing he tried would break the ice that Ava placed around her tortured soul. The loss of their child compounded by the loss Christian was feeling for the woman that he loved above all others. Three months passed while Ava was still trapped within her own grief. During that time, Christian went about tasks that would set the events to follow into motion. After getting affairs in order, Christian purchased a boat and went forward with his plan to discover his place in life after all of the loss. Headed to places unknown, Christian walked away from the life he shared with Ava. Giving her the space that she so desperately wished for. The realization of her new circumstance gets Ava’s attention. Her pain compounded by the fact that Christian walked out on the life that they shared. Still cocooned with her grief, Ava begins a long overdue correspondence with the man that she once called her husband. Christian’s focus on finding himself leads him through a journey unlike any other. Resulting in a series of letters, emails, and stories that uncover the depth of love that this couple had for one another. What a completely emotional journey Ava and Christian partake upon. It is a loss that is unlike any other…the loss of your child. This couple is both tortured by the reaction of the other, and clearly go about discovering themselves in unexpected ways. Rating this book has weighed heavily on my mind. On one hand, the plot was magnificent. A completely soul grabbing glimpse at the loss of losing your child. The pain was evident with every turn of the page. As a reader, you feel all of the emotions between this couple. It definitely pulls at every fiber of your being. A definite roller coaster of emotion that will leave you questioning your actions if this happened in your life. What I didn’t always respond to was the letters, emails, and the ‘story within a story’ parts of the book. Heck - that was the biggest chunk of the book! While the plot was magnificent, readers must make certain they know if they are reading a letter, email or other correspondence when entering a chapter. At times, I wondered if the emotions couldn’t have transpired by simply telling this tortured tale. The constant checking to see who was writing to whom a bit of a put off. Then there is the cliff hanger that was a set up for the next book in the series. It was definitely one that leaves you on a limb. Wondering where the characters would find themselves. A let down in one respect of knowing if these characters were ‘doomed’ from the moment of their child’s death. So - I start to remember how deep I drifted into The Ever Trilogy by the author. That particular series was full of heartache and pain. (If you haven’t read the trilogy …pick it up!) Reaction from readers on that type of story was defini