The Man I Love (The Fish Tales, Book 1)

The Man I Love (The Fish Tales, Book 1)

by Suanne Laqueur

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"A watershed moment exists in every man's life, Fish—the moment when you stop being your mother's son and start being your lover's man. When you transition from protected to protector."

Erik "Fish" Fiskare is only a college junior when a gunman walks into the campus theater, intent on stopping the show. From the lighting booth, Fish sees his girlfriend, Marguerite "Daisy" Bianco, get caught in the line of fire. Everyone runs away from the stage but Fish, in a watershed moment, runs toward it.

Spanning fifteen years, The Man I Love explores how a single act of violence reverberates through a circle of friends. At the center are Fish and Daisy, two soul mates who always brought out the best in each other. Both are hailed as heroes after the shooting, yet the tragedy starts to bring out the worst in them, tearing the circle apart.

Soon, Fish is running again—not toward Daisy this time, but as far away as possible. But can you really leave the one you were born to love? And is leaving always the end of loving?

"You never got over her, Fish. You just left. You may think that's closure, but it isn't. You may think a woman like Daisy comes along twice in a lifetime, but she doesn't."

Fearlessly touching on today's social and mental health issues, The Man I Love follows Erik Fiskare's journey back to the truth of himself and a woman he can't forget. With its gripping story and an unforgettable cast of characters, this epic novel of love and forgiveness lingers long after the last page is turned.

"A new kind of romance, well-crafted and intelligently written. Suanne Laqueur deftly explores what it means to be vulnerable, resilient and human."

"A compelling, heartfelt, intense read. The Man I Love raises important and tough social topics that are relevant and timely."

"An intelligent, perfectly-pitched modern romance. NOT your typical boy meets girl, but a story of first love and how people handle extreme situations."

"The Man I Love looks love, sex, depression and PTSD in the face and calls them by name. An astounding journey of forgiveness and recovery."

"Laqueur combines the dynamics of a circle of friends with a school shooting. The result is The Man I Love, a gripping, angsty psychological romance that explores second chances at first love. Book clubs will find plenty to discuss in this coming-of-age emotional journey of forgiveness and recovery. The characters are flawlessly crafted and deserving of love after tragedy. You'll be thinking about them long after you've finished."

"From university to adulthood, through love and loss, devotion and betrayal, estrangement and forgiveness, the Fish Tales series will bring you on an emotional journey of love and truth."

Product Details

BN ID: 2940046020489
Publisher: Suanne Laqueur
Publication date: 06/17/2014
Sold by: Smashwords
Format: NOOK Book
Sales rank: 474,160
File size: 2 MB
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

A former professional dancer and teacher, Suanne Laqueur went from choreographing music to choreographing words. Her work has been described as "Therapy Fiction," "Emotionally Intelligent Romance" and "Contemporary Train Wreck." Laqueur's novel An Exaltation of Larks was the Grand Prize winner in the 2017 Writer's Digest Awards. Her debut novel The Man I Love won a gold medal in the 2015 Readers' Favorite Book Awards and was named Best Debut in the Feathered Quill Book Awards. Her follow-up novel, Give Me Your Answer True, was also a gold medal winner at the 2016 RFBA. Laqueur graduated from Alfred University with a double major in dance and theater. She taught at the Carol Bierman School of Ballet Arts in Croton-on-Hudson for ten years. An avid reader, cook and gardener, she started her blog EatsReadsThinks in 2010. Suanne lives in Westchester County, New York with her husband and two children. Visit her at Her Facebook page: All feels welcome. And she always has coffee

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The Man I Love 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 16 reviews.
toniFMAMTC More than 1 year ago
I love this author's writing style. I read wonderful stories all the time, but the actual craft of writing from this author continues to blow me away. Erik and Daisy meet and fall in love in college. She's a world class ballerina, and he does the technical design. Everything is going wonderful for them. Their romance is perfect. School is great. By all signs, the future is nothing but up, up, up. After a tragedy, it's impossible for them to get back on track. This is the journey of their love and despair and the eventual finding of themselves. It spans many years. I didn't read anything about this story before starting it. Every emotion hit me hard, and I had to ride it out fully. I want to go into detail about all my feels at each point, but I don't want to spoil anything. Just know that you aren't going to want to put it down, but you may have to a few times to wipe your eyes. It's beyond beautiful. It broke my heart at times and overfilled it others. The Man I Love is not to be missed. Exquisite. Moving. Defining.
sugarpine721 More than 1 year ago
As usual Aestas Book Blog recommended this book, I had never heard of it but if she recommended it...I had to read it! Because to be truthful she has NEVER led me astray. After reading her review and the book synopsis, I knew I had to read this book right NOW! The story just spoke to my heart. This story is truly unique and beautifully written. But what really grabs you is the characters, they are brought to life by the magic of Suanne Laqueur"s gifted writing. You feel every emotion, you get to know each character and you want more. You are living their story along with them and believe me your emotions will be all over the place. There is no added drama in this story. It is painfully honest and told in such away that you are unable to put it down. Sometimes a book comes along and it is just above and beyond what you expect, this is that book! I cannot say enough about how much I loved every word. I was so excited to see that there is a parallel book "Give Me Your Answer True" that follow the story through Daisy's eyes. I can't wait to read it because I have so many unanswered questions about her. This is definitely on the favorite list of 2015 for me!
xxBianca More than 1 year ago
You ever start a book and think to yourself, this is going to be the book to change everything? Because of this book, my literary life will never be the same. The Man I Love takes place over a span of fifteen years. Erik Fiskare and Daisy Bianco meet while they both students are attending Lancaster University. Erik is in the theatre as a tech/stage hand, while Daisy is a beautiful and skilled dancer. The moment they meet, you feel that silence. Everything stops. The immediate attraction quickly blossoms into a friendship. This friendship also includes a small group of people who will impact their lives in so many ways. Eventually, the attraction between Erik and Daisy comes to the surface and there is no going back. James Dow, a recent transfer, changes everything. His arrival throws everything off its axis. He’s the storm no one saw coming, and the pain felt even long after he is gone. A tragedy hits this group. Hard. No one is left unscathed. Not even you as a reader. You are left in the same shattered pieces as the characters. One act causes such destruction. A major part of this story is a true testament to the resilience of not only the human spirit, but of the human heart. “I can feel your heart.” “I can feel everything.” The Man I Love is simply love in its purest and rawest form. Erik and Daisy. Their love is the kind of love that does not yield to circumstance, obstacle, or time. Even at the darkest hour, their love remains. Their love is profound. Earth shattering. Poignant. Powerful. Timeless. When an unfortunate decision is made, Erik and Daisy’s relationship is rocked to its core. Hearts are broken. Erik and Daisy are forced apart. The next several years, these two deal with the pain of the aftermath of the end of their relationship. This is an intense read. While there is joy, there is so much pain and betrayal. These years are spent healing and living again. But, can you ever truly get over the one person you can’t breathe without? “Loving her felt like creating something. A cathedral. Spires and stained glass and bells. But she broke one window and I indiscriminately tore the whole thing down.” There’s a chapter called, ‘The Current’. My heart stopped. I didn’t breathe. It was one of the most riveting and moving chapters I’ve ever read in all my life. I gripped by ereader. I loved. I wept. I lived. The author effortlessly places you in an intense scene with Erik. The author is a master of her craft in her flawless execution of the entire story. Her ability to create flawed yet genuine characters is a true testament to her talent in not only writing, but character development. “I only want you. No one could hold me in the dark the way you do.” The writing? Spellbinding. Enthralling. Magnetic. Her words left me breathless. Her words are magic with the most alluring prose. The words simply bewitched me. I wanted nothing more than to get lost in this story. Silly me, I was worried about the pacing. That I couldn’t get into it. I was wrong. SO wrong. How dare I question someone that writes like this? How dare I second guess just how much I would be captivated? This sheer talent of writing is not be rushed. How can we truly understand the anguish, the pain, and the beauty of her words, the characters, and the story without being immersed in that world? The writing spoke to my soul.
Theresa_F More than 1 year ago
Free book for honest review. Stars : 5 Overview: Erik was 8 years old the night his father left never to return. Erik went from music to basketball and finally to set design trying to find his nook to fill the empty space his father took with him when he disapeared. He was a freshman in collage on his way to learning the ropes of dance theater and loving every second of it. Then the day came when he met daisy he looked into her eyes and lost himself in them. Soon an amazing friendship grew from that first moment and soon love blossomed. It was not just any kind of love it was the heart shattering soul mate kind of love erik truely belived he had found the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Then it all changed in a instant one act of violence shattered the lovers happiness , One act of violence changed the happy couples life forever. Review: I was blown away by this book! if i could have given it 10 stars i would have. This amazing love story had my heart fluttering then breaking then fluttering again. I am having issues right now writing out how much i enjoyed this book because to be honest it is probley one of the best books i have read in years! I know this might have been my first time reading this book but it won't be my last. This amazing treasure is ment to be read more then just once!!! So what are you doing reading my review go get The man I love and be blown away as much as i was at erik and daisy's truely amazing love story! Heather
Amys_Bookshelf_Reviews More than 1 year ago
Healing of a Wounded Soul! An intimate story between friends, but focuses on the relationship of Erik and Daisy. I thought the story was well written, and very intense. The characters had great chemistry and brings thought to life's reflections, such as what it means to be who we are and how we got there. Fate isn't always set in stone. I really enjoyed the story, and it's a remarkable love story, that is unique, and unpredictable. Highly recommended.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One of the greatest books i have ever read. Beautifully written and heart wrenching
vs_valerie More than 1 year ago
An Intelligent Romance indeed You don’t want just another “contemporary romance.” You don’t want a genre. You want a story that mirrors your longing. “You want to see the unspoken words in your heart on the page. You want to be touched and validated. You want to be swept up in a love that erases the universe and sets you at the center of a new galaxy. But you’re no fool… You want it to be believable. I want that, too. I want to write passionate but thoughtful love stories. I made up my own genre: I call it emotionally intelligent romance.” – Suanne Laqueur Those words quoted above where part of the words from the author under the book’s description at amazon. I don’t really know where to start. I’m literally lost for words. For the first time in a long while, I am afraid I’ll mess this up and not give justice to what I’ve read through my review. The last time I felt like this was when I read I Love That About Her . They are not the same book. Not even the same genre. But I’d say there are books that will leave you silent after you read them, making you mull over what you just read, going through some bits and parts of what you read inside your head. Then you sigh. And both of these books made me feel that way. I don’t know how to write this review without spoiling it for those who haven’t read it and at the same time pour all the thoughts and emotions that this book made me felt. And that’s when I remembered the words quoted above that I have read before accepting to review this book. This is not just another book, this is an emotionally intelligent romance. And it was also an emotionally intelligent written book. So let me start where it is easy… the Point of View (POV) at which it was written. As oppose to most people saying books written in first POV are better because it made them feel like they were the character, I love books written in third person because they let me as part of the story. First POVs makes me feel like reading a diary, an outsider invading someone’s privacy. Third person POVs let’s me see the story like I’m there. I was a personal witness watching everything unfold. And reading ‘The Man I Love’ made me feel like I was one of the people in Erik’s circle. Watching his life unfold, at times having this urge to smack him in the face and at times wanting to cuddle him in an embrace and tell him everything will soon be better. I was not being told the story. I was part of the adventure as I turn on every page. Reading ‘The Man I Love’ was not just another ride to a happy ever after novel. It’s not about the fairy tale but more importantly it tells a story of a life. A journey. Life that includes real emotions and not just the fairy tale – anger, happiness, hurting, all those ups and downs. This book had me confuse at some point. There are things that I don’t agree with but I do understand. I have this notion that ‘just because I understand it meant I agree with it’, this book though had me in reverse, I don’t agree with it but I understand.’ I don’t know if that make sense to you. I can’t articulate it myself. I just don’t know that there were points where Erik’s reactions and decision were the exact opposite of what I believe in, or what I would have done but then I know where he’s coming from. I can clearly see why he reacted the way he did. And I understand him. And that understanding had me continue finding out what he’ll be up to when otherwise I would have close the book and walk away.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This as a great book but I found myself board at times and not really able to connect with the characters. It was a god story t im sad to say that I didn't finish it. I skimmed the last 100 pages and read the endig. I never do that. I just couldn't make myself finish. Three stars for story but 2 stars for keeping my attenion. Sorry to everyone that liked it. I also got the second book, but won't be reading it since its the same story just in anoher persons POV. Bummer.
sciencexcharm More than 1 year ago
This story is fantastic! I was provided a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I will honestly say that it fits my superb category! The start of The Man I Love was a bit slow, but then it began to pick up pace throughout the read. It begins with a little history about a boy named Erik and how he found his way into the theater as a backstage hand. Then he meets Daisy, the most beautiful woman that he has ever laid eyes upon. Once he watches her dance on those pointe shoes with those powerful legs of hers, her astonishing beauty and talent begins to tip his world upside down. Their relationship blossoms quickly, making them inseparable in and out of the theatre. Among Erik and Daisy, a band of close friendships form among other dancers and backstage workers. All too soon, this particular group of friends are forced to endure one of the most traumatizing moments of their lives—together. A shooting within the theatre during a practice session will ultimately destroy a part of the group’s lives forever. Afterward, love is tested. Friendship is tested. Strength, courage and mentality are tested. Will they be lost forever, living among the event that took away their happiest moments as lovers and friends, or will they be able to find themselves before it is too late? My favorite characters within this story are Will and Lucky. I can say that I did enjoy reading about Erik and Daisy a lot, but I really enjoyed Will’s personality and joking manner along with Lucky’s intelligence and ability to function in traumatic events. I agreed to read this story before even reading the synopsis. This is a general rule that I use when accepting any request because reading the synopsis allows you as the reader to form a prejudged conception of what the book is going to do for you. This story was a major impact on me and I really took to the psychological aspect of the novel. The mental breakdown that each character faced, while not all details in full like Erik and Daisy, the concept and the impact was evident. The author does a wonderful job with conveying the characters in ways that the reader can truly feel a sense of understanding. While not all decisions were easy to accept, the understanding behind everything was revealed by the end which made the story hold so much more depth and intrigue. One of the morals that I took away from this story is that everything happens for a reason, but that reason is imperfect as humans often are. We fall, we become confused or lost, then we find a way to pick up the pieces and follow your heart. It may take a short period of time to find that person that you once lost sight or if may take several years. While The Man I Love is not for the weak-hearted, I would suggest also that it is not for anyone under the age of eighteen. This story covers a lot of loss, heartbreak, tragedy and pain; however, it also encompasses happiness, forgiveness, love, friendship and understanding. All of these emotions really captivated me and kept me entranced within the author’s writing. On the topic of writing, this author does a terrific job of keeping everything within meaning. Even though the pace was slow to start and quickened throughout the story, I felt that this did not hinder the story in the least. The development of all characters is absolutely astonishing as well as the grammatical context. I did not find myself experiencing difficulty reading, other than wiping away tears that clouded my vision from time to time.
Amers86 More than 1 year ago
*Independent Reviewer for Archaeolibrarian – I Dig Good Books* I received a copy of this from the author in exchange for a fair and honest review. Wow. This is a heavy, heavy angst filled book. It’s beautiful and incredibly ugly. It’s sad and heart breaking sad. It teeters on the edge of insanity. Most of all, this book is real and true. It’s absolutely beautiful. This story is long and in depth and filled with incredible detail. It’s a story you will want to read and will struggle reading at times. It’s absolutely perfect. The above paragraph states it all. This book was a mind bender and was a heart breaker. I started into this book thinking it was going to be a happy, love filled book. Boy, was I wrong, kind of. It’s filled with love, but filled with hatred, depression, darkness, and emptiness. All of this is what makes up this story though. This story is not a story that ends in your typical HEA. This story feels like it’s a true story for several people with one heck of a life. There is not one negative thing I can say about this story, other than it’s incredibly heavy and emotional, and I don’t consider that a negative towards the story. It’s definitely not missing detail or description. It might even be a little detail heavy, but again, that only adds to the “realness” of the story. The characters are incredibly developed. None of them have a simple story. They are all incredibly complex and have a deep history that is well plotted out. They could step out of the pages of this story and dive right into real life. I also love the steps that author has taken for the characters through their journey and has made the issues real, and present real problems and also real solutions. This is an absolute must read. My word to the upcoming reader: This story deals with heavy topics, heartbreak, depression, and school shootings. It’s heavy and dark at times. Please make sure you are in the right place to read this. However, keep in mind, she doesn’t leave these items just hanging in mid-air. There is closure to a certain extent. Please, pick up your copy of this story. It’s beautiful!
Lovz-Books More than 1 year ago
Being abandoned by his father at an early age, Erik doesn't strive for the chance at true love. But, if it comes, he will know. Then came Daisy, "the girl with the wrong name." The beginning lagged a bit, paving the road for a winded and arid plotline, which revolves around music and dance. Behind the eloquent music notes and graceful dancing, a love story plays out off-stage, behind the curtain, almost hidden in the shadows. The drama that should've riveted the reader with an electrifying mass of deep, passionate notes is nothing more than a subtle, malleable tone. Although it appeared to be a good New Adult/Contemporary Fiction novel, I couldn't really get into the story. Like a symphony orchestra, I felt like I should've been more moved by it. But I wasn't.
ReadersFavorite More than 1 year ago
Reviewed by Kayti Nika Raet for Readers' Favorite The Man I Love by Suanne Laqueur is a beautiful romance that explores love, sexuality, and the blossoming of a new relationship, as well as the trauma and anguish in the wake of a school shooting. College freshman Erik Fiskare is drawn into the world of theater where he helps craft the backdrop for the dancers taking center stage. He's drawn into a romance with Daisy Bianco, a beautiful, accomplished dancer, and their love blossoms. It's something that seems as if it will last a lifetime, but when a fellow dancer and student brings a gun into a theater, their lives are forever changed. With some friends dead and others gravely injured, Daisy and Erik try their best not to let the trauma affect their relationship, but in the end a shocking act of betrayal threatens to tear it apart. As the years pass, Erik must battle the demons that have haunted him since the shooting, and learn that he must tackle them head on instead of avoiding them if he ever hopes for any sort of reconciliation. The Man I Love by Suanne Laqueur joins the handful of truly spectacular books I've read this year. The writing is gorgeous, each passage has a sort of rhythm that flows beautifully, drawing you deeper and deeper into Daisy and Erik's story. I loved how, though it was a romance, the readers weren't trapped in the vacuum of their relationship. We got to see and learn about their friends and families, and how their presence influenced them. It made for a richer, meatier story, and I'm thoroughly satisfied. When I first picked up The Man I Love, I hadn't read the blurb or any of the reviews, even though I'd heard a lot of good things about it. It made each scene and moment new, fresh, and shocking, and made for the perfect reading experience. I can't recommend this book highly enough!
libriamorimiei More than 1 year ago
I'm very fascinated by this novel, is exceptional, it doesn't seem written by a debutant author. Suanne deals with delicate themes in an excellent way and with great sensitivity: homosexuality, neglect, drug use, forgiveness, the torment of their own past. The protagonist of this novel is a love story, romantic, turbulent, deep, sad but strong, eternal, full of hope. The life of Erik has never been easy. He was a happy child with a wonderful parents and an adorable brother. But one day the father leaves home forever. It's a shock for Erik: suddenly and without a reason loses his idol, his point of reference. This suffering will be his worm, will haunt him for the rest of his life. In college, however, his life changes again: he meets Daisy Bianco, a girl really special. They fall madly in love and live happily their love story: have found their soul mate. Everything goes wonderfully until comes into their lives James, an homosexual boy. Daisy is a dancer very promising, is preparing a play "The Man I Love" and James  is also part of the cast. After a disappointment in love, the guy bursts into the theater with a gun: kills four people and seriously injures Daisy. The girl no longer be able to be herself and will eventually ruin their love story. Their paths diverge but will be forever? It's written wonderfully well: the plot is compelling, well-built, the characters are very realistic, deep. The author is very good at always find the words and expressions more suitable to describe the situations and the feelings: makes them feel real and makes us empathize perfectly with the characters. We perceive their anxieties, their torments, their joy, their strength. The novel is written from the point of view of Erik, is about to go out the following "Give Me Your Answer True", which is Daisy's version, and I can not wait to read it I received a copy of this book to review from this author.
GolfTart More than 1 year ago
LOVED!! Beautifully written with so much depth and emotion - you name it, the story had it. Don't let the number of pages scare you off!
ellenmaze More than 1 year ago
THIS IS GOING TO BE A MOVIE ONE DAY. Move over Nicholas Sparks, this novel would challenge the best of his book-to-movie projects easily. From the first page, the writing style sucked me in and twenty pages flew by before I even seemed to breathe. I won't repeat the plot (see the synopsis), but rest assured that the deep and intimate soul-touch you will receive from this author will stay with you forever. I believe that. Keep writing, Ms. Laqueur!
Feathered_Quill1 More than 1 year ago
Suanne Laqueur delivers a 579-page, can’t put down, don’t want to put down, sparks flying from fingertips with the turn of each page, delicious body of work in her debut novel, The Man I Love. Erik Fiskare (‘Fish’) was a guarded boy. He had every reason to be; especially after his dad went out one night never to return home again. Did I mention Fish was five at the time? That alone could have been the defining moment for Fish to make the decision to never amount to much. The thing is, however, his mother was still there. Perhaps it was her kind and creative soul that nurtured Fish into young adulthood without too many ‘isms.’ Little did he know that Daisy Bianco was waiting in his future. Side-by-side, they would weather life’s lessons and perhaps what wouldn’t nearly kill them, could possibly make them stronger. Fish didn’t have big college dreams. Rather, he flew just enough under the radar to keep moving forward. It is when his grandfather dies in his junior year of high school and leaves him and his brother a windfall of money, in the fall of 1989, that Fish finds himself stepping onto the campus of Lancaster University. The stars were aligned in near perfect order and he was in pursuit of a technical theater minor in the University’s conservatory program… and along comes the lithe and mystical beauty with the perfect dancer’s body: Daisy Bianco. I believe the very essence of a blockbuster story happens before the author has put pen to paper. The premise percolates as a memory and its calling haunts the subconscious. When the plot finally rises above the subconscious, so has the time come to write and a gifted writer knows the moment. This is who Ms. Laqueur is; a truly gifted writer connected to the words she writes. Laqueur has a precise and specific command with her word placement. Her fluid development of character Erik (Fish) Fiskare convincingly beckons the reader to latch on and a natural familiarity takes over: “I know this guy...” Laqueur is patient. She allows generous amounts of real estate (pages) to showcase Fish and once she is certain her audience has connected with him, the page is turned and the scene is set for the introduction of someone new. Enter, stage left, Daisy Bianco. The entire process is sprinkled with the perfect balance of sublime nuance for the reader to relish in his or her ‘aha moment’—the moment of clarity and knowing that these two anchored beings were more than a destiny when it came to meeting each other. There is nothing cheeky, predictable or cliché about The Man I Love. Rather, it is a story that speaks to its audience and masters the art of the purpose of a great book. Laqueur’s endless flow of prolific prose, dialogue and rich character development simply translates to: she has nailed this story. I would like to be so bold as to say: ‘Nicholas Sparks! Meet Suanne Laqueur. She’s coming like a steamroller and her engine is: The Man I Love!’ Well done Ms. Laqueur. Please tell us you are working on your next novel! Quill says: The Man I Love boasts raw writing talent and is a tremendous example of what a great read is supposed to be: the perfect escape!