Are you a mom who does it all? This is the book for you.
It's impossible to denymost moms continue to do way more household work and childcare than most dads. Working full time, raising kids, cooking dinner, making sure every appointment and activity is lined up and that everyone gets there on time... no wonder you're tired! But despite all the books and articles lamenting the crushing mental load and emotional labor women bear for their families, no one has come up with a plan to actually make things change. Until now.
The Manager Mom Epidemic is the first book that not only acknowledges the fact that moms are burning out, but shows you how to transfer responsibility for daily tasks from yourself to your partner and also (gasp!) your kids. Clinical psychologist and child discipline expert Thomas W. Phelan, PhD explains how we got into this mess in the first place, and how we can get out of it through a calm, systematic approach to teaching our families how to take initiative and contribute in meaningful ways. Dr. Phelan walks you through real-life situations and shows you how to step back from the things that are dragging you down. For example:
- Your Maternal Identitythe things you tell yourself you have to do in order to be a "good" mom
- The oppressive trap of chronic supervision
- Our society's curious underestimation of children's capabilities
- How to eliminate primary childcare with tweens and teens
- How to manager resistant or traditionalist dads
Realistic and simple enough to implement in your home right away, The Manager Mom Epidemic provides a roadmap for you to take your life back and proves that the happiest families share the work and the fun equally.
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About the Author
Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an internationally renowned expert, author, and lecturer on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. A registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist, he appears frequently on radio and TV. Dr. Phelan practices and works in the western suburbs of Chicago.
Table of Contents
Introduction Do You Feel Like the Family Nag? xi
Part I How Did We Get Here?
The Origins and Side Effects of Manager Mom xix
1 Interpersonal Bonding vs. the Frantic Modern Family 1
2 The Equal Suffering Law: Moms vs. Dads 12
3 Children's Independence vs. Chronic Supervision 23
4 Your Maternal Identity: The Ten Commandments 34
5 The Killer: Automatic Talking 42
6 Homework: A Manager Mom Case Study 52
Part II How Do I Get Myself Back?
Tools for Escaping Manager Mom 61
7 What Is Mom Doing Too Much Of? 63
8 The ABCs of Responsibility Transfers 71
9 Challenging Your Mommy ID 80
10 Mom's Declaration of Independence 92
11 More Tools for Responsibility Transfers 99
Part III Installing a New Regime
Case Studies in Time Liberation 113
12 Can a Seven-Year-Old Do His Own Laundry? 115
13 Getting Up and Out in the Morning: Temporary Trauma 129
14 Eliminating Primary Childcare with Tweens and Teens 144
15 Guerilla Warfare with Resistant Dads 154
16 Expediting Responsibility Transfers 170
17 Cooking, Food Shopping, and Housecleaning 179
Part IV Toddlers to Teens
Designing Away the Manager Mom Syndrome 193
18 Preschoolers: Craziness, Precedents, and Sloppy Training 195
19 Ages Six through Nine: Basic Training 205
20 Touchy Teens? Time for Independence 211
21 After Manager Mom 220
About the Author 250