(Mystique - mystery, power, aura (awe-Ra) that surrounds something or someone)
Who first taught you the mystery of love?
In order to discover love, you need to know what not-love (fear) is. The 'wet and dry' of life: as you journey towards love, you can't avoid approaching not-love at the same time. The same goes for wealth, joy, health or any goal you set yourself.
Have you ever loved someone so dearly and have had that love not returned? (The other person shares everything apart from their love. They refuse to surrender themselves to the process of entering into a loving relationship; the love, (self-) trust, courage, freedom, choice and commitment that a loving relationship requires. They deny emotional intimacy; they put up a shield to protect themselves from the deep hurt that loving relationships can sometimes bring.)
Have you ever felt sick to the stomach over unrequited love?
Have you ever yearned in your heart or loins for someone when your head is telling you...
• "This is absolutely the wrong partner for you"?
• "Bottom line, she/he just doesn't fancy you"?
• "You and him/her, it's never going to happen"?
Or something like
• "She/he simply doesn't love you the way you love her/him"?
Your head judges, your loins desire sexual fulfilment and your heart seeks to share love. I call this the Head, Heart and Loins dynamics of a relationship. When all three are aligned, within and between partners, their relationship is probably in good shape to meet the outcomes they seek. (The same holds true for a personal friendship whether there is a sexual element to that friendship or not.) I speak neither of good nor bad, nor moralise. I speak of the process of achieving a higher purpose, you set for yourself, through the journey to the goals you set for the relationship, be those goals profound or for short term recreation.
Your higher purpose is not the goals you set, it is the journey you complete to become your true nature, the journey to love, self-love, oneness, completeness.
Your journey to self-love involves the removal off all anger, hurt, shame and fear about the past and future. It implies living mindfully in the present moment (by moment), the present tense.
A loving relationship with that someone special in your life can delight and traumatise your emotions. This booklet contains a series of exercises to take you on a mindful journey, read its route map and practise ancient wisdom. Within you'll learn about...
• The journey to understand and fulfil the higher purpose of a relationship - to help you and your partner to journey to self-love so that you can love one another.
You cannot give to anyone that which you do not give to yourself first
• The nature of outcomes (or goals) you and your partner (or friend) set for yourselves.
• The difference between your purpose and goals for a relationship - and they are very different, in context and value.
• How when your emotions are tested to the limit, the path to success requires that you stay mindful of your purpose and let go of the outcomes you seek, moment by moment - mindfulness.
Mindfulness, sometimes referred to as being present in the moment, is the process of creating love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness in the moment (by moment) - regardless of whether these vibrations are returned or not. It takes mindfulness to fulfil a relationship's true purpose, which curiously can be achieved whether the goals are achieved or not.
Mindfulness is the vehicle by which to travel the journey.
About the Author
Profile by Professor John Ditch, York, UK...
"Paul Burr is an incredibly interesting man. I met him in 2005 when he agreed to be my 'career coach'. At the time I held a senior position at a UK university and it was rather fashionable to undertake 'management training'; every member of our senior team was expected to devote time to 'continuing professional development'. I approached Paul because he offered something different, something a little more challenging. We met regularly over the course of a number of months. Paul was a good listener and quickly identified a number of issues that we could work on together. That was part of his style: he didn't teach, he didn't preach, he had no axe to grind. What he had was insight, humour and a remarkable capacity to facilitate self-questioning and reflection: he had a 'tool-kit' but he didn't carry spare parts. Our 'sessions' were always well organized and when I'd done my 'home-work' thoroughly they were both demanding and rewarding. Paul is a seriously bright 'numbers-person' (he has a PhD in statistics) and can do all the technical stuff that management consultants come out with. But he is more than that: he is also in touch with the right (creative/emotional) side of his brain. Thinking back there were three things that Paul facilitated or encouraged in me: first, he supported me to think about (or imagine) ways of 'doing things differently'; second, he emphasized the importance of 'authenticity'; third, he helped me develop additional capacity for 'resilience'. Time with Paul was all time well spent."