The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence

The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence


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Today‘s leaders are more stressed than ever. Whether you are leading a Fortune 500 company trying to retain top talent, or are an entrepreneur trying to cultivate the next great idea, the current corporate landscape is unpredictable, multi-factored, and complex. This is where the power of emotional intelligence comes in.

In this guide, Aperio founder and CEO Kerry Goyette challenges the conventional wisdom of EQ by breaking down the neuroscience of emotional intelligence and offering a bold and applicable new approach. See how emotional intelligence tactics empower you to leverage the impact of emotion, thrive in competitive environments, and prevent fight or flight responses from hijacking your best intentions. Explore ways to leverage EQ to connect with people, add value, and grow your business.


> Improve your decision-making when it matters most.

> Navigate change and better manage disruption.

> Identify the derailers that may be holding you back.

> Trace problems to their roots so they can be solved more easily.

> Be agile and thrive in today’s chaotic environments.

> Shape your company culture to drive loyalty and engagement.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781940858913
Publisher: Ideapress Publishing
Publication date: 07/30/2019
Series: Non-Obvious Guides Series , #4
Pages: 135
Sales rank: 424,929
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.40(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Kerry is the Founder & President of Aperio Consulting Group, a consulting firm that leverages the latest in workplace analytics and research-based strategies to build high-performance teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavior Analyst and Certified Forensic Interviewer with postgraduate studies in psychometrics.

Kerry is an international speaker with the popular TEDx talk, "Stop Trying to Motivate Your Employees", she was the keynote speaker at the Global HR Inside Summit in Vienna, Austria, the keynote speaker for the Best Employers Awards in Barbados, and has been featured in Fast Company, CEO World Magazine,, Quartz at Work and Innovation Enterprise.

Rohit Bhargava is the founder of the Non-Obvious Company and entrepreneur having started three successful companies. He is widely considered one of the most entertaining and original thinkers and speakers on marketing disruption and innovation in the world. He is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of five books and teaches marketing and storytelling at Georgetown University in Washington DC.

Table of Contents

What Will You Learn? v

Introduction vii

Part 1 Decision-Making

Chapter 1 Where Does Empathy Start? 01

Why Leaders Wear Sweaters - How to Practice Empathy

Get Over Yourself - the Biggest Mistake People Make with EQ

What Is Holistic Emotional Intelligence?

Case Study: When We Works for Everyone

The Three Elements of Change

How to Put The Three Elements of Change to Work

Chapter 2 Fear, Threats, And The Way Our Brains Perceive Our Environments 21

Don't Fight Your Brain, Embrace It

The "Fight-or-Flight" Response

The Sad Rise of Blame-Shifting

Why We Tend to Focus on the Negative

How to Evaluate Your Decision-Making

Chapter 3 How Courage Drives Emotional Intelligence 47

How to Create a Better Environment

Getting to the Root: How to Ask Courageous Questions

Start With Clearly Identifying the Threats

Case Study: Why No Man Is an Island (Not Even You, Patrick)

How to Use Pauses to Strategically Overcome Fear

Integrating the Elements of EQ

Part 2 Agility

Chapter 4 How To Recognize Your Environment 75

VUCA is the New Four Letter Word

The Difference Between Problems and Dilemmas Case Study

The Real Secret to Managing VUCA

Chapter 5 How To Increase Your Agility 91

The EQ3 Advantage

Case Study: How to Drive Real Change

Four Tips to Navigate the (Mental) Agility Course

The Importance of Agility

How to Improve Your Agility

Part 3 Relationships

Chapter 6 Understanding Team Dysfunction 109

How We Derail Ourselves from Success

The Six Common Derailers

We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think

How to Recognize Derailers in Others

Case Study: Meeting the Challenge of Identifying

Your Derailers

The Importance of Being Self-Aware

How to Adopt a Growth Mindset

How to Manage and Overcome Your Derailers

Chapter 7 How To Motivate Your Team (And Yourself)

What Not to Do: Compliance and "The Carrot & The Stick"

Why the Workplace Isn't Like a Carnival Game

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Why Smart Companies Don't Base Compensation on Employee Goals

The Six Drivers of Intrinsic Motivation

How to Drive Intrinsic Motivation among Your Team

Chapter 8 Take Motivation From Me To We To Why 167

How to Provide Recognition

How to Deliver More Clarity

How to Empower Your Team

How to Collaborate and Coach

How to Operate with Transparency and Be Fair

The Best Leaders are Meaning Makers

Conclusion 187

Endnotes 191

Index 201

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"The ideas in The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence helped move us in less than a year from a mediocre company to a rapidly growing, highly profitable enterprise. Kerry’s techniques are simple, effective, easily implemented, and readily understood by everyone in our organization.” - George E. Garrison, PhD, President & CEO, SantoLubes

"In business today, there is an ever-changing need to connect with employees— both current and future. Attracting and keeping high level performers is harder and harder. A true appreciation for emotional intelligence is essential for long term success in corporate America. This book gave me concrete ways to identify level-headed problem-solvers for my team. More importantly, it provides the tools to train and motivate them as loyal, servant leaders—a hallmark of Southwest Airlines’ Culture. If you’re interested in creating stronger, more successful teams in your company, this book is for you!” - Jason Van Eaton, Senior Vice President, Governmental Affairs and Real Estate, Southwest Airlines

"As long as you’re working with people, you’ll be working with their emotions. This book is a manual to what’s going on inside the minds and hearts of the people you work alongside.” -David Burkus, Author of Friend of a Friend

“Every leader knows the critical importance of emotional intelligence. And with this important and practical book, Kerry Goyette takes EQ to the next level. She shows how to move from me EQ to we EQ, and then helps put it into practice. After reading The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence, you will learn how your environment can help or hurt you, and why intrinsic motivation can be the most powerful force of all. Get this book. You’ll be a better leader for it.” - Phil West, Chair, Steptoe & Johnson LLP

"Think you know how to lead your team in today’s challenging environment? You might want to think again! If being an agile leader that gets the most from their organization is important to you, invest in this book! Goyette quickly cuts to the heart of issues facing leaders and managers of people. What motivates staff, how to create a more productive environment, and learning that your “gut” is not always right are all part of this insightful book.” - Cris Burnam, President, StorageMart

“Anyone interested in becoming a better leader should read The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence. In today's world, EQ is one of the most important strengths of a professional. Goyette’s a gifted writer who turns the science of EQ into something digestible.” - John Hall, Author of Top of Mind and Co-founder of

“The biggest shift in leadership since the 7 Habits. Times have changed and leaders who prioritize emotional intelligence will rise to the top.” - Keri Tipton, CEO, Bucket Media, Inc.

"Kerry Goyette’s EQ3 approach to emotional intelligence is simply brilliant! She’s transformed what has become just another business buzzword into a concise, easy-to-read, relevant personal and professional blueprint for success. Whether you’re an executive in the C-Suite focused on winning the race for talent or a line worker wondering how to keep a robot from taking his job, The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence is a must-read. I’d recommend getting a copy for your employees, managers, spouse, and kids too!” - Ira S. Wolfe, Chief Googlization Officer, Success Performance Solutions; Author, Recruiting in the Age of Googlization

“It’s important to note that Kerry has credentials and a wealth of experience in the area of human performance, but what makes her especially unique is that she can take a take such a complicated topic, one that most people would drone on about, and make it interesting, easy to understand, and simple to apply. You’ll see benefits in your life before you finish the first chapter.” - Doug Hanson, Motivational Speaker / Humorist / Author

"The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence is a book every CEO should read. Kerry Goyette provides a useful overview of the topic with excellent academic research references. She clearly explains how each element of emotional intelligence can be usefully applied by leaders and managers in order to make themselves and their workforce better equipped to make good decisions. Readers will find the book full of useful analysis but they may very well want more and they can get it through useful follow-up opportunities. Read it— it’s worth it.” - Dr. Rita Kirk, Altshuler Distinguished Professor of Corporate Communications & Public Affairs, Southern Methodist University

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