What happens when a woman becomes the wife God desires her to be?
In today's world, women are often rewarded for having type A personalities. Driven, demanding women achieve higher positions, better salaries, and praise for their ambition. They learn to be confident, take-charge leaders who can handle anything on their own. Yet when it comes to their marriages, those same traits can backfire. After all, no one goes into marriage hoping for a promotion. What is a wife to do?
April Cassidy knows this struggle firsthand. She thought she was a great Christian wife and begged God to make her passive husband into a more loving, involved, godly leader. Instead, God opened her eyes to changes that she needed to make, such as laying down her desire for control and offering genuine, unconditional respect--not just love--to her husband. The Peaceful Wife focuses on Cassidy's experience and its life-changing properties, providing a template for others to follow.
Cassidy's conclusions may be as shocking to readers as they were to her, but she backs up her own tale with stories from her blog readers, and also includes recommendations for further study. She walks through baby steps on how to change, addressing questions such as:
- What is respect?
- How can you show respect?
- How is being respectful different from being loving?
In the end, The Peaceful Wife is a powerful path to God's design for women to live in full submission to Christ as Lord.
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About the Author
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The Peaceful Wife
Living in Submission to Christ as Lord
By April Cassidy
Kregel PublicationsCopyright © 2016 April Cassidy
All rights reserved.
Greg and I met when I was fifteen and he was sixteen, and we dated for six years before getting married. He was my only boyfriend. I did break up with him once for three miserable weeks right before I started college in 1991. Other than that, we had practically zero conflict. We were talking about marriage by the end of my tenth-grade year in high school. I couldn't wait to get married to Greg. He was such a solid, responsible, trustworthy, handsome, intelligent, athletic, high achieving, thoughtful, loving, godly guy. He took all honors classes just like I did. He cared about my feelings and gave thoughtful gifts to my family members every Christmas. He took me out on a date once per week and allowed me to have long, deep discussions with him about all kinds of world problems and theological subjects every night during our hour-long phone conversations. My family loved him and I had my parents' blessing. My marriage to Greg was going to be the best thing ever! All my dreams would come true and we were going to live "happily ever after."
We both were raised in strong Christian homes, both accepted Christ when we were small children, and had parents who are still married (to their first and only spouses). All of our parents have college degrees. They are all believers in Christ. They are all responsible with money. They love their spouses and children dearly. Greg's father is a minister and my father is a deacon. Our parents didn't have big fights. They were not perfect, of course, but there were no major problems, addictions, threats of divorce, affairs, or anything awful in our families of origin. We had pretty good examples of marriage and we were both dearly loved and well cared for as children.
In my mind, Greg and I were totally prepared for marriage. No, we didn't have premarital counseling, but why would we need it? I was going to be "Mrs. Gregory Cassidy." Sigh! I didn't pay much attention to the marriage books I read when they got to chapters on "conflict" because I knew we would not have conflict. We wouldn't be like all those other couples. We were going to do the whole marriage thing the right way and it wouldn't be difficult whatsoever. We had a storybook Christian romance ... until we got married. We had done almost everything "right." No one should have been more prepared for marriage than we were, or so I pridefully thought.
Our Launch into Wedded Bliss
I was bursting with happiness on that hot, sunny, summer South Carolina afternoon when we left our wedding reception. The fragrance of warm pine needles was thick in the air and the three stately magnolia trees were in full bloom in the churchyard. My long, thick, wavy brown hair stuck to my neck and back even inside the church. The air conditioning could hardly keep up with all three-hundred-plus people in the building. My cheeks were sore from smiling so much. Everything went perfectly during the ceremony and reception. Finally, we were husband and wife! Greg and I ran together down the concrete front steps of our church as our guests and family pummeled us with birdseed. Then we got in the car to drive away as husband and wife. Happily-ever-after was totally in the bag! We stayed in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, for our honeymoon in an adorable little condo with our own kitchen. I was ecstatic. I loved every second of being with my new husband. This is what I had waited for all those six long years and it was glorious! I was excited about everything — going grocery shopping together, watching Greg shave in the mornings, talking for hours on end, and constantly being alone together. I loved the intimacy we shared and was so thankful we had waited to consummate our union on our wedding night. This was heaven. This is what I had always dreamed marriage would be. I had never felt so loved, fulfilled, safe, and happy in my life. Everything was absolutely perfect ... for three short days. Then we came home from our honeymoon, and the challenges and problems began.
My Short List of Unspoken Expectations
While I couldn't have verbalized my expectations at the time, and in retrospect the list was much longer than this, I fully expected:
Us to spend four to five hours per night together talking, laughing, having a great time connecting, enjoying each other, being alone together, and cuddling
Greg's undivided attention just about any time I wanted it
Daily physical intimacy
Us to have our own place that was just ours, like "real adults"
Us to make our decisions completely on our own
Greg to get a wonderful engineering job immediately
Us to be totally financially independent
Greg to initiate prayer and read the Bible with me daily (even though we hadn't done that when we were dating)
Us to both be relatively healthy for a long time
Us to both be happy just about every moment of every day, especially the first few years of our marriage
Greg to verbally gush loving words over me on a daily basis
Greg to make me happy and to make me feel loved and cherished
Greg to feel happy, loved, and cherished by me
Greg to agree with me and to do basically anything I wanted him to do because we would always agree — his thinking and priorities would always line up with mine
To never have to forgive anything very significant
To not have to suffer
Greg to think, feel, and act exactly like me
My Abrupt Clash with Reality
For the first three months of our marriage, Greg and his dad worked feverishly — six days per week until way after midnight every night, after they worked their full-time day jobs — fixing up an old house for us. One week into our marriage, I severely sprained my lower back as I bent down to paint shelves. (I should have bent from the knees!) Suddenly, I couldn't get out of bed by myself, couldn't put on my own shoes, couldn't help with fixing up the house, sometimes couldn't even walk because my back would often go out. Intimacy became almost impossible for many months. I was consumed by fear, doubt, loneliness, and depression like I had never experienced in all of my twenty-one years. I didn't want to tell my friends or my sister how miserable I was. I did call my mom every day, crying. Other than that, I just stayed in a room by myself in bed alone — in constant and severe physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. I was so afraid I might not ever recover from my back injury. I thought Greg didn't love me because he was spending all his time working or fixing up the house. He seemed to ignore me. He just fell into bed exhausted every night and turned his back to me without a word and without even a kiss while I cried and tried to tell him what I needed. No response. One issue piled on another, and another. I felt unloved, neglected, abandoned, rejected, and ignored. I believed everything my feelings told me without even questioning that there might be another way to look at the situation.
I didn't know how much I misunderstood my loving, young, inexperienced husband that summer and what a difficult time he was having on his end of our marriage. He was trying so hard to make me happy and to provide well for me by fixing up the house. He and his dad were killing themselves trying to get things done on that old house as quickly as possible in the time they had after work. Greg was also having many trials of his own that I didn't appreciate. Of course, now I know that my understanding of his motives toward me was grossly inaccurate, but I didn't know any other way to look at things at the time. I had zero understanding that men and women see the world very, very differently and that the real issue was my misunderstanding, not that Greg didn't love me.
Now I know that my reactions to Greg and to our circumstances made things infinitely more difficult than they already were. Greg did not think, feel, or act like me. He was trying to show his love for me by working on the house to make a beautiful place for me to live with him and by going to work to provide for me. He was trying to find a good job so he could provide more adequately for me. He was trying to be considerate of my fragile back by not touching me so that he didn't hurt me. He was completely exhausted from working forty hours per week at his job, sending out dozens of résumés each week, receiving constant rejection letters from potential employers, and then working forty more hours per week on the house we were going to live in. He didn't know what to do with me and had never seen me so upset. He thought if he respectfully left me alone, I would get better. I didn't get better. He began to shut down. He didn't tell me that the things I did and said hurt him. Instead of me being grateful for all that Greg and his parents were doing for me, appreciating their incredible generosity for helping us with a house, I lashed out at them all in anger and resentment. I had never experienced not having my way before and I did not handle things well at all. It turns out that I was a lot more spoiled and selfish than I ever realized before I got married.
Thankfully, things did get better after those first three months. Eventually, the renovations on the house were finished and, after about eight months, my back got a bit stronger. We had more time together again. Unfortunately, I embraced some toxic lies that first summer, and we set a few very unhealthy patterns in our relationship that impacted our marriage for many years to come.
My Attempts to Fix Things
Even after those first extremely painful three months, it seemed to me that Greg "wouldn't lead" in our marriage. I mean, I would ask him about something and wait for ten to thirty seconds. Sometimes, on my really patient days, I might wait for a few minutes (sighing and rolling my eyes and tapping my fingers impatiently after a minute, of course). When my husband wouldn't make a decision by then, I would just take over and make the decisions myself because I clearly "had to." I thought Greg just wouldn't tell me what he wanted to do. I had no clue that he didn't know what he wanted right away or that he needed more time to make decisions, that this was just part of his personality. Sometimes Greg did make decisions or say what he wanted eventually, but if I didn't agree with him, I made sure to argue for what I thought was right and filibuster my solution until he would agree to do things my way. Greg pulled away more and more and let me make many decisions without any input from him.
I began to think that I was so much more spiritually mature than Greg was. I read my Bible practically every day. I never saw him read his Bible or pray. I prayed for four hours a day sometimes — surely that made me very holy! I prayed and prayed that God would change Greg and make him be the man I thought God wanted him to be. I told God to make Greg be a strong, godly leader and a loving, attentive, affectionate husband. Greg needed to love me like Christ loved the church!
Greg needed to stop wasting time on worldly things like TV and focus on the important things in life: God and me. Well, especially me. I was convinced that Greg was the problem in our marriage. He became increasingly quiet, passive, and unplugged. He hardly seemed to have opinions anymore. He mostly just watched TV all the time or worked on house projects. Greg had a lot of initiative when we were dating and engaged. Why did he turn into a totally different person after we got married? Funny, he never seemed to appreciate all my helpful suggestions and attention.
I was the dominant twin with my sister as we were growing up, so that talkative leadership role just felt normal to me. It was all I knew. I shared all my thoughts and feelings with Greg, holding nothing back, just like I had with my sister. When Greg didn't object to what I said, I assumed he agreed with me, just like I had always assumed my sister agreed with me. Turns out that silence doesn't always mean agreement — for sisters or husbands. Sure wish I had learned that a long time ago! Then I became a pharmacist, which probably only increased my tendencies to take over and handle things myself in our marriage, too. Pharmacy also encouraged my obsessive-compulsive and perfectionistic personality traits. When you are a pharmacist, getting things right ninety-nine percent of the time is not good enough. I expected total perfection from myself, from Greg, from everyone. I also didn't realize I needed to turn off my "patient counseling" mode when I got home. I was used to telling my technicians and patients what to do at the pharmacy. I also told my husband what to do a lot at home. I knew what I wanted and how I was going to get it. I worked hard in school and expected to make all As. I was super-critical of myself and overly responsible, and had little grace for myself or anyone else. Really, I treated Greg pretty much the same way I had always treated myself, only I was probably harder on myself.
I thought I knew best about almost everything: for other people, for my husband, and for myself. Deep down in my soul, I thought I knew better than God, even though I would never have consciously admitted that. I thought people needed my wonderful advice, wisdom, and "help." I was rewarded for all my efforts and my Type A personality in school and in pharmacy with great grades, full scholarships, the praise of all of my teachers, lots of good friends, and customer service awards at work. Why didn't my winning approach work with my husband?
There were so many things about femininity, masculinity, marriage, and the roles of husbands and wives that I just accepted "as is" from our culture and never really questioned. I thought I was being a godly wife. I had read God's instructions about marriage many times. I read, "the wife must respect her husband" (Eph. 5:33) and thought, "Check! I do that." I mean, I didn't throw things — well, except for that one time that I threw a pair of panties at Greg that first summer we were married. They didn't even come close to hitting him, and they were clean, so that definitely didn't count as disrespect on my part. I didn't scream, cuss, threaten divorce, hit him, or leave him. I never called him names like "idiot," or, "jerk," or "stupid." I never even used the phrase "shut up." Yes, that first summer, I really wanted to hurt Greg physically because I was hurting more than I ever had emotionally and felt very unloved. But I didn't actually hit him. And I was tempted to leave at times, but I didn't actually leave. So, that didn't count as disrespect either. Yes, I raised my voice sometimes but that was only because Greg seemed to ignore me. He had never ignored me before. Surely he would hear and care about my feelings if I upped the volume and demanded that he give me the love, attention, and affection he used to give me so easily before we were married. I was being totally respectful, in my mind. I treated my husband a lot better than many other women treated theirs.
I knew about God's command for wives to "submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22). When my husband would (very rarely) insist on something, I would eventually concede to him, knowing he was supposed to be the leader in our marriage. But my "submission" was only after a lot of me arguing my case, trying to get him to change, explaining how I was right, telling him how my way was much better and more biblical than his, and sharing with him how wrong he was. I was not a cheerful follower. I would grumble, argue, stew, and complain.
I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, but I tried to force Greg to "submit" to me. Truthfully, I expected everyone to not just submit to me, but to agree with me and do things my way. I mean, I was "right." That was obvious. So it was my duty and responsibility to try to change Greg's mind so that he could see things in proper perspective like I did. What could be more important than being right on an issue?
I would try to get Greg to lead sometimes, but only in the way I thought he should. I didn't realize there was any other way to think than my way. I left no room or grace for him to be masculine and to think, feel, and process like a man, or to be himself with his own unique personality. I often felt so lonely in our marriage — stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and worried. Our marriage was not horrible. It was probably better than most. But, I knew there could be so much more intimacy on every level. I constantly tried to figure out how to make things happen the way I thought they should. I carried the weight of the marriage on my shoulders and felt spiritually, emotionally, and financially responsible for all of the decisions. I never had peace. I didn't realize that if I disrespected my husband's God-given authority over me, trusted myself instead of God, and cherished bitterness and pride in my heart, my prayers weren't going to be heard. My sin poisoned my relationships with God and with Greg. The problem was, I didn't see my sin at all.
Excerpted from The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy. Copyright © 2016 April Cassidy. Excerpted by permission of Kregel Publications.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
1 Our Story 17
2 Finding the Missing Piece of the Puzzle 27
3 Let's Be Honest 37
4 The Absolute Lordship of Christ 59
5 God's Beautiful Design 78
6 Recognizing Disrespect 105
7 Acknowledging Our Sin 120
8 My Husband Shares His Heart 136
9 Learning the Language of Respect 147
10 A Smorgasbord of Respect 168
11 Communicating Our Desires Respectfully 187
12 Respecting Our Husbands During Conflict 215
13 Sharing the Journey 235
Appendix: Reaching a Husband Who Doesn't Know Christ 245
For Further Study 261
About the Author 263
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy is a heartfelt book written with love for guidance on how we as Christian wives should love and submit to our husbands. Submission is such a taboo word in our society, but the author explains the roles God had for us wives since creation. Men and women are made differently so we as wives act very differently from our husbands. The author also points out that respect is very important to our men. There is a lot of wisdom and useful information throughout this book as well as the author’s personal story and other women’s examples. This book would make a great gift for brides to be, marriage counselors, and all women who are married who want to be a peaceful wife and the best helpmate she can be to her husband. This is one that I will refer back to often and give to my daughters to read. I received a copy of this book for an honest review from The Book Club Network, Inc. and the opinions are my own.
The Peaceful Wife: Living in Submission to Christ as Lord, written by author April Cassidy is a very insightful book. Author Cassidy is a Christian, wife, mother, part-time pharmacist, and Christian marriage blogger. In this biblically based book she writes about marriage, being a strong willed woman and wife, and of her experiences as a wife and mother. Her story tells how she changed herself and ultimately her marriage as she worked to have the type of marriage God has shown us through His Word that we should have. The author stresses respect and submission for a peaceful, loving marriage. It is essential that wives respect their husbands and submit to them. To some this might sound old fashioned but it is Biblical. Strong willed woman (including myself) sometimes forget that we need to stand back, behind our husbands instead of getting in their way. We need to be their support and encouragement not their critics. She uses personal examples of how women and men view the same situation differently. Sometimes what seems an innocent comment can be very disrespectful and hurtful. Husbands and wives should be united especially in front of their children as well as others. They should show respect to each other in public as well as their homes. God commands not suggests that husbands love and honor their wives. He also commands wives to respect and submit to their husbands. Many times wives put their husbands down thinking they are helping or solving a potential problem only causing a crack in a solid marriage. The author uses personal examples from her life on how she was doing this and not realizing what damage it was doing to her marriage. Disrespecting a husband creates a block to love and is harmful to the entire family. The author teaches about Biblical submission for the wife, a topic many steer away from because they do not want to submit. This book is biblically based and will step on the toes of many strong willed wives. It will also help them tremendously and bring peace into many homes. Marriage doesn't come with a "how to" guide, but we do need help at times. Marriage takes work and we need to apply what God says about it. After God, a husband is to be the wife's priority followed by their children. Sometimes the demands of daily life want to push our priorities around. We forget that it is little things that can add up into a big problem. The insights in this book are different than those from premarital counseling. This is written by a strong willed woman that has been there and learned from her mistakes. She knows the struggles and how to come out on top. It is not a wife taming book by any means. It is a book to learn more about having God in your marriage and life. Living all of your life as He has commanded. It is a book on love, respect, honor, and submission. I really enjoyed this thoughtful, insightful book. It provides new ideas on marriage, respect, and what submission really is. This would be a great Christian gift for a bride-to-be. I would recommend it and rated it 5 out of 5 stars.
If only I could have read this book 30 years ago! It definitely would have saved a lot of heartache and resentment over the years. Before any Christian couple gets married, I would recommend that this book be mandatory reading. It has been a blessing to me as I have put into practice the respect my husband deserves from me. In a very conversational manner, the author begins by telling her story of control, anger and disrespect. Not only was it eye opening for her to experience, it was eye opening for me as I thought about my marriage. As I continued to read, I saw that I, too, was walking the same path that she was and that I needed to change. However, we are to guard against wanting to respect our husband “in order to try to change him, to try to make him more loving, or to get what you want from him.” This book will take you through the steps that allow you to respect your husband because it is God’s plan for wives to do so. Using checklists, scripture and examples from her own life, the author shows us how our marriage will be much richer and happier. I am already seeing changes in my husband as I am putting into practice respecting him and he is becoming the leader God wants him to be. I received this book for free from The Book Club Network in exchange for an honest opinion.
Submission, that controversial subject that is either "all or nothing" it seems. Certainly not something we modern women care to discuss very often. But undeniably so, it is in God's Word and all things God ordains have a place and a purpose in our lives. Primarily this book is about submission to God as our Lord and complete surrender to Him as we learn and follow His ways. In her book, April begins by telling her story. How she met, married and after many years learned what it meant to respect her husband. April's marriage began blissful, but quickly took a turn downhill after she suffered a back injury. Her go-get-it personality, combined with her husband's more passive one, made it difficult for her to recognizer her place in the relationship. No one had pointed out the importance respect plays in a man's life. She shares how God brought her attention to this area of her life, the affect her disrespect was having on her marriage, as well as, the joy and freedom learning to follow God's commands brought. We live in a society in which God's chain of command is obscured. We have the feminist movement claiming men and women are equal, and so demanding an equal position in the chain of command. We have men usurping and misusing their power of authority and undermining or even abusing women. Hence a constant struggle for power, rights, equality; while submission, love and respect get thrown out the window. April gently reminds us of God's chain of command: Christ, husband, wife, children. She explains how this chain of command works, and that instead of binding us, it frees us, when practiced correctly. God commands husbands to love their wives, and wives to respect their husbands. Those two qualities enhance a marriage, instead of degrading it. Showing proper respect for our husbands builds them up, encourages them, and motivates them to become the men God desires them to be. There were a few things that really stood out to me in this book. One of them was that when God's design for married gets distorted, it affects our children and can even cause gender confusion. This may seem far fetched to some, but I can understand how that may very well be the case, and today's society pretty much affirms it. The other thing that stood out to me was the chapter on submission. April handled it firmly but delicately. It is the best I have read in a long time, and the easiest to understand. In no way, form, or fashion does April endorse or promote husband domination, abuse, or misconstrue God's view of marriage. She repeatedly advises women in any type of abusive relationships, who may have spouses under drug or alcohol influence, reputation, or a mental health condition to seek godly counsel. Personally, I was impressed with this book. I think any woman seeking to honor God in her marriage would benefit from it. As with anything you read, it should be taken with a grain of salt and backed up with Scripture. This is not a popular topic in today's day and age, but God's Word never changes, and He is the ultimate authority. When we seek him with out while hearts, we will find him, if we are willing to open our eyes and hearts to truth. I received this book courtesy of Kregel and The Book Club Network in exchange for my honest review. I am not required to review this book positively.
Monday, February 8, 2016 The Peaceful Wife: Living in Submission to Christ as Lord by April Cassidy, © 2016 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:11-14) "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea." (Isaiah 48:17-18) April Cassidy brings an insight into being the woman God intends for you to be ~ wholly dependent upon Him for all avenues of our life. Book Releases Today - Celebrate With Me! "I am a wife who loves God wholeheartedly and who wants to relate my personal, life-changing experience with Jesus Christ and the Bible." ~ April Cassidy April's contacts: The Peaceful Wife, Peaceful Single Girl, Twitter, Facebook: Peaceful Wife Blog My Review: What is missing in my want-to and my doing? How many times have I said or done something that was not my intent to come across that way; even I am surprised? My tone of voice, my impatient humph or eye-rolling? Am I listening? I begin reading, and... there it is! Do all as onto the Lord. Of course, I know that ~ am I too comfortable at home? Do I treat others better and those next to me poorly? Not all the time, but I do ~ am I preoccupied, doing what "I" do? One example is bringing my husband to a celebration meal during the holidays with people he did not know well. Getting home and mentioning a conversation, he did not know it was directed to him and had not heard until about mid-way in the conversation. May I be more attentive and inclusive, more aware to all I am missing and not seeing. To be more observant. Communication is key. To share your hearts, your relationship with Christ will come through your actions. I liked how April shows both sides ~ love for the wife and respect for the husband, in the Lord's design. She begins by sharing her early perception of her marriage and how it was misunderstood. Her husband worked long hours ~ his job, sending out his resumé for work related to his training, and remodeling their older home. April had injured her back and was unable to do what she had fully been doing. She took his exhaustion as ignoring, while he felt he was caring for her, providing and accomplishments for them, being careful of her physical state. April talks of unmet expectations ~ unspoken how she thought it would be. Responsibility changed their focal from their dating days. I would say this book is like a friend sharing common feelings and how to apply God's Word in misconceptions and to relearn God's principles of freedom and peace that come by following His Word. Through examples, the outlook of her husband's response to respect and her filling from identifying and receiving being loved are expressed. Not dwelling on changing the other person, but focusing on our following the Lord changes us resulting in a difference in how we treat the other person. The focus is off ourselves, and pleasing in submission to the Lord and His guidance. Value beyond "my way."
The Peaceful Wife intrigued me. I didn’t think I was a disrespectful wife but the author helped me fine tune my actions even more to be the best wife God called me to be. It’s not always the “big issues” that cause our husband’s to shut down - sometimes it’s the little things that we don’t even realize we’re doing that cause problems in our marriage. She helped remind me that I want to make sure I’m living my life peacefully so that I can bring that peace into my family. Peace is my word for the year. I’m glad I had another resource to study peace and how I can use it to bring glory to God. I received this book for free from The Book Club Network and the author in exchange for my honest review.
This book is somewhat different than a lot of the books I have seen on being A submissive wife. A lot of books on this topic can be somewhat discouraging and unrealistic. This book however is much different. This book focuses on us as Christians first. Our responsibility is to Christ first not our husband first. This is to give us encouragement as well as the tools we need to change us from within. We can't do it on our own. How many times have you thought "Why doesn't my husband ever listen to me?" Or "Why does he get so angry when I try to help him with something?" Are you discouraged in your marriage? This is probably the book for you. I really did enjoy this book. April gave some insights I hadn't thought about before. For instance respect is a very big deal to most men. Respect is big but not in the way you think. They actually don't want a servant they want someone who will respect their opinion and submit to their decisions as head of household. Someone to respect them enough to let them lead. Another interesting thought is that true submission is not about our husband it starts in us. Our heart must be in tune and right with God to be truly submissive. In her book April goes into great detail about the true biblical meaning of being a submissive wife. In the book she actually argues against the common misconceptions of submission. She also gives great ideas for being the wife God would have you to be. The only real negative thing that I found was that some of her suggestions of how to respectfully talk to your husband actually came across as condescending to me. The suggestions she gave just didn't sound like a way that my husband would respond well to. This is just my personal situation and may work well for others. I highly recommend this book to all women who are married, engaged or are thinking of getting married. Thank you to Kregel publishing and the author for the opportunity to review this book. A positive review was not required.
I am so glad that I was chosen to read and review this book. I wish that I had it 23 years ago when I met my husband. Although we had gone through pre marital counseling through the church it still didn't prepare us enough. Every bride is focused on the wedding and her fairytale but we really need to be focused on God and how he is number one. This book was eye opening. I know after reading this book that I have the most patient loving husband in the world. I was shocked to realize just like the author that I had been doing everything wrong when it came to being the godly wife we are all to be. It was very easy for me to relate to the author. As a RN I was in charge at work and at home not realizing this was not the way it was supposed to be in God's eyes. This book puts everything into perspective. We need to have God first and things will work out the way he has planned for us not what we have planned. I loved how to says " silence doesn't always mean agreement". She recommends that we all start a journal. She states that at first it can be painful to put into words how disrespectful we have been to our husbands. We may not even realize we are hurting them. When we marry we become one and need to work together. Loved the reference to pairs figure skating and how the man does the lifts and the women is graceful and elegant. If things were reversed it would be a disaster! "Equal value Equal importance" Another powerful quote that will have you reading over and over again is found on page 97. " I can respectfully share my desires, ideas, needs, emotions, concerns, and wisdom with my husband: then I have the freedom and the power to trust God to work through my husband's leadership to do what is ultimately best for me, our family and God's Kingdom". Another very important part of this book warns women about dangerous situations and how to seek help. We are not doormats or punching bags! This book distinguishes the two and how to get help if needed. Thank you so much for this book April Cassidy I know it will help and save many marriages. I recieved this book from The BookClub Network for an honest opinion.
The Peaceful Wife is a wonderful reminder on how to be a better Christian wife. There are some great pointers all throughout this book! I highly recommend this book for all wives. 5 plus stars. I received this book from bookfun.org in exchange for my honest review, which was given.
This was a great book! April Cassidy is a wife, mother, pharmacist and blogger. She writes this book in a very easy to read format. April shares her story and some other people's story, and how we can have the marriage we all want. She shares how many of us women have the Type A personality. Sometimes that can get us into trouble by trying to be the "submissive" wife to our husbands. April shared how she asked God to make her husband a better leader, but God showed her how she needed to be praying for herself. She has so many helpful words of advice. You really need to read the whole book to get the whole idea. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone out there either already married, considering marriage, or even single people that hope to get married one day. I received this book from bookfun for my honest opinion.
The Peaceful Wife: Living in Submission to Christ as Lord was written by April Cassidy, a wife, mother, part time pharmacist and Christian marriage blogger. The book is a story of her experiences with changing herself and her marriage as she works toward having a marriage as God intended. Cassidy stresses the importance of respecting your husband and allowing, even encouraging, him to be the leader of the house. Husbands and wives should both give love and respect as well as receive it though marriage. God commands husbands to love and honor their wives and wives to respect and submit to their husbands. When a wife shows this to her husband, he will eventually tend to love, serve and honor her more. The author does a great job of teaching wives how to respect their husband, whether they be Christian or not. The author also talks about Biblical submission for the wife. The book has a lot of lists and suggestions based on Bible verses to learn from and put into everyday practice for marriage and Christian life. Marriage gives us a glimpse the love and pain God feels in his relationship with us. The way we treat others, comes from our soul and God counts the way we treat others, including our husbands, as the way we treat Him. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God. Refusing our husbands God-given leadership hurts the reputation of God's word to nonbelievers and may keep them from finding the real love and life only obtained through Jesus. Husbands are to be the wives top priority in their human life, followed by their children. Having a marriage as God intends for us, gives a good example to our children for them to take into their lives. Marriages do not come with a manual, but this is a book that would make a great engagement gift to a Christian bride-to-be. I say Christian, as there is a lot of reference to Bible verses that would turn a non-Christian off. Marriage is about a husband and a wife becoming one person, leaving their families and making a family of their own. Love involves great cost and sacrifices and the total heart change that is required to make a successful Biblical marriage is a long process that needs to be worked on daily. To totally benefit from this book, it needs to be used over a length of time, not read and put away. It should be read slowly, sometimes even reading parts over and over, allowing time to think about it and allow God to speak to your heart. I received a copy of this book from The BookClub Network for an honest review.