The Power of Love: A Mother's Miraculous Journey from Grief to Medium, Channel, and Teacher

The Power of Love: A Mother's Miraculous Journey from Grief to Medium, Channel, and Teacher

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ISBN-13: 9781491735671
Publisher: iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date: 07/31/2014
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 156

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The Power of Love

A Mother's Miraculous Journey from Grief to Medium, Channel and Teacher


By Heather Scavetta

iUniverse LLC

Copyright © 2014 Heather Scavetta
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-3565-7



CHAPTER 1

A Door Closes

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

—Alexander Graham Bell


I'm sitting in the front seat of the cruiser. It's dark and cold. I have my cell phone in my hand. I'm trying to remember my friend's number. She's at a New Year's party in the east end of the city. She could meet me at the hospital if only I could dial her phone number, but I keep pressing the wrong buttons and have to start again. Why can't I get my fingers to work? Why can't the cop go faster? Doesn't he realize we're racing against time?

I've had this nightmare for years now. It's always an emergency, and each time I try to dial a phone number for help, I get it wrong and have to start again, never getting the number right. My thoughts are jumbled. My mind darts from one thought to another. I'm not the one dying, yet bits and pieces of my life are flashing before my eyes. There is a panic somewhere deep inside me. On the outside, I look normal, but underneath, I am on the verge of becoming completely unravelled. I feel alone and at the mercy of those around me. My body continues to function on its own, but any higher decision making is impossible.

New Year's Eve. I had gone to bed as usual. I had fallen asleep as usual. And then an hour later, I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. A voice on the telephone was telling me the girls had been in a car accident. My twin daughters, Elizabeth and Cassandra.

They hadn't come home? I raced through the house. The lights still on. Beds empty. I looked at the clock: after one o'clock. They should have been home by now.

My husband, Tony, is with me as I speed off to where the girls would be driving from. The car strains to keep up. Tony tells me to slow down. A few minutes later, we are met by a police car blocking the road. I run out of the car. A policewoman walks toward me.

I yell, "My girls are in there!"

"You can't go any farther," she says.

How calm she sounds. I argue with her, but she won't let us pass; she won't give us any information. We turn around and head for the hospital, some 10 minutes away.

The hospital emergency room is empty.

Where is everybody?

It's New Year's Eve. My pessimistic side tells me that all the good doctors will be on holiday.

"You can't go in there," a nurse shouts at me, blocking my way as I try to go into the trauma area.

"I'm a nurse," I say, but she won't let me in. Everything is confusing. Everything is difficult. I'm the woman from the farm, running around in black rubber boots—dishevelled, distraught. I'm the crazy mother you see in the movies, the irrational one who everyone has to calm down.

The clock is ticking. The panic within me is escalating. I want to know how my girls are. No answers. A nurse keeps talking about an "unidentified female."

I keep correcting her: "She's my daughter Cassandra." Elizabeth is behind the nurses' station in the ER somewhere.

Why can't they tell me what is going on? I've lost track of time. It feels as if I've been here forever. Finally, I'm told that Cassandra has been flown out to the trauma hospital; Elizabeth is still here. They are trying to stabilize her. There is time for me to see her.

I'm escorted in to see my daughter Elizabeth. She's on a stretcher. Blood hung, tubes everywhere. She's unconscious. Her face is swollen, but from pressure coming from the inside. I know it's not good. I lean toward her, and I tell her, "It's going to be okay; you are going to be all right." I kiss her on the cheek. I want to stay with her longer, but I know she has to go—the ambulance is waiting.

I have to be strong.

"Can I go with her?" I ask as they take her to the waiting air ambulance.

Another request from the crazy mom.

Frozen to the spot, I'm seeing my daughter being wheeled away from me. I'm hearing the nurse reciting rules and regulations about people riding in the helicopter. I can't follow her words; my frustration is building. I am deaf to this monologue. I am searching for the word, "yes". All I hear is, "no".

Moments later, I'm alone in stunned disbelief. I am feeling my insides start to shake. My legs are barely holding me up.

Elizabeth was sent to a hospital at the south end of downtown, and Cassandra was airlifted to the north end of the city. I can't believe my twin girls have been split up. It is an impossible situation. How can I choose one daughter over another? Ever since they were babies, I have tried so hard to make everything even between them. If I kissed one, I would kiss the other. If I picked one up, the other one got picked up too. I would never favour one over the other.

So, Tony went to Elizabeth at the hospital at the south end of the city, and the police escorted me to Cassandra at the hospital in the north. I sat in the vehicle, unable to think. It was as if I had been slapped in the face and punched in the stomach for no reason—and then handed a math exam to complete. Nothing could compute.

Somehow, I got to the hospital. Cassandra was in a coma with a severe head injury, a 3 on the Glasgow coma scale of 10, but she was breathing on her own. I knew that Elizabeth had a severe head injury and multiple internal injuries. I waited outside the intensive care unit. My friend Vanessa was there along with a stranger who volunteered with trauma victims. The volunteer kept asking me what she could do for me. She meant well. I mumbled polite responses but found her annoying. I didn't have the energy to converse with her.

She has no clue what I need.

My cell phone rang. Tony explained that Elizabeth was on her way for a CT scan of the head.

Good, she's getting the care she needs.

Ten minutes later, my phone rang again. Tony spoke slowly into the phone, "Elizabeth had a cardiac arrest on the way to the CT scan. She died. I'm coming to get you."

My brain moved in slow motion, struggling to compute the incomprehensible. I closed my phone, turned to the ladies present, and informed them that Elizabeth had died. Even though my world stood still, the world did not stop. I kept breathing. Someone guided me to the hospital entrance to meet Tony's taxi. Alone, I would never have found my way. Tony and I sat in the backseat. I kept looking at the driver, expecting some chit-chat. He said nothing. We travelled to Elizabeth in silence.

We found her alone, laid on a stretcher, breathing tube and intravenous lines still intact. Lips blue, one fingernail without polish. She had a small cut on her upper left cheek, but other than that, she looked perfect. I bent down and whispered in her ear that I loved her and always would. No tears came, just a stunned silence. I watched Tony do the same.

How long do we stay here? And what about Cassandra?

We decided to head back up to Cassandra, as we didn't know if she would die too. So, we turned and walked out, carrying a bag of Elizabeth's cut-up and bloodstained clothes. My feet moved, but my mind was numb.

Cassandra remained in the ICU for a few days and eventually opened her eyes. She looked at us, cold, detached. I told her what had happened, but she had no reaction to what I was saying. We found out later that she lacked many emotions. I tried to see this as part of her head injury, but it hurt tremendously as I just wanted to reach out to her, to share our loss of Elizabeth.

I spent the next several days walking back and forth from the waiting room to Cassandra's bedside. Nurses and friends helped me to sit, take phone calls and drink some tea. Our friends filled the waiting room, creating a cocoon of support for us. They didn't ask us for anything or expect conversation. They took turns, taking up all the chairs in the waiting room. They never left our side, even though I had little to give. Without them, I would have sat and never moved. Tony was there too, but he was making funeral arrangements.

Some of my estranged family came forward when they heard the news. I was not in a position to question why they came. I had no extra energy to attempt to fix what was broken between us. I was struggling just to breathe. But I felt that they didn't have the right to be a part of this experience. They didn't know Elizabeth or love her. Only those who loved her when she was alive should have the privilege to take part in her death. You had to know who she was before. You had to know her essence. You had to know what was missing. You had to know how we were together, before you could imagine how it felt to be without her. Of course, they came for Cassandra too, but they didn't know her either. They couldn't compare how she was now with how she had been before.

Cassandra was making steady gains, improving each day, so the staff advised us to get some sleep. The hospital provided rooms for parents to sleep in, but they were at the far end of the hospital. Although I didn't like the thought of being away from Cassandra, I thought it would be a good idea to have a shower and lie down for a while. It was my first time alone since the accident. As I went through my routine, I had a strong feeling that I had been through this experience before, that I had lost someone close to me in a previous life. I felt people were watching me, that I was setting an example. I had to get it right this time. I had to do more than just survive this experience.

Tony remained in the ICU. It was early evening, and it was dark outside. I lay awake on the bed, staring into the dark. My mind was darting here and there. Unable to close my eyes, I looked into the darkness, and there, in the corner of the room, I saw a large cluster of white lights hovering in the air.

What am I looking at?

The group of white sparkling dots started a couple of feet off the ground and ended just below the ceiling. Time seemed to stop as I stared at the apparition. Just this presence and I were in the room. It didn't last long, and then I was alone again. I felt confused but not afraid. I gave up trying to sleep and returned to the waiting room.

Unable to understand the apparition, I put it in the back of my mind, but more started to happen. One morning, around five o'clock, Tony and I were in the hospital cafeteria. The funeral home's viewings for Elizabeth had already taken place. Tony was telling me how the high school principal, Mr. Galea, had talked to him. Mr. Galea said that Elizabeth had come to him the night she died and told him she was okay. Mr. Galea said that it had happened to him before, hearing from people as they transitioned to the Spirit world. Mr. Galea had shared the story of that night and of the conversation that he had had with his wife. As Tony was telling me the story, my mouth hung open. Somehow, I already knew the story. I knew what Tony was going to say as he said it.

Had I dreamt the night of the accident? Was I recalling a dream sequence? How was that possible? Was my soul aware of all that had happened the night of the accident, even though my conscious mind was unaware?

CHAPTER 2

What Is That?

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

—H. Jackson Brown Jr.


While Cassandra was still in the hospital, I tried to talk to her about Elizabeth's death. I gave her the newspaper clipping of Elizabeth's obituary. She stared at it with no reaction. I didn't realize at the time that she was unable to see it. Her injuries had affected her vision. I asked her if she was wondering where Elizabeth was. She looked at me, unable to speak. She took a paper and pencil and wrote, "Like right now? Like in my dreams?"

So, she was seeing Elizabeth. Elizabeth's spirit was with her. Cassandra's emotions were childlike and innocent; I knew she was telling me the truth. Elizabeth was with her.

Nine days after the accident, we left the hospital with Cassandra. The funeral had already taken place, and Elizabeth was entombed at the mausoleum. Cassandra was able to eat and drink but still had significant effects from her head injury. She wasn't speaking. She still couldn't see clearly. She needed help walking because she couldn't find her balance. Her emotions were limited to being pleasant and following directions. Tony and I found this situation very confusing as we tried to figure out how to reach her.

The next day, Michael, my brother-in-law, e-mailed us photos he had taken of our homecoming. A strange ball of white light hovered beside Cassandra as they both sat on the sofa.

What was that? I wondered. It wasn't a reflection. It was only in that one photo. I started googling orbs and found similar hazy, white circles in other people's pictures. I found out later that they are spirits—energy and light without physical bodies.

Wow, could it be Elizabeth? I had faith that she was now in the Spirit world, but that was all I knew. I started noticing balls or orbs of light in other pictures we had taken. Some even had faces in them. One time I saw a cat's face. Maybe it was our barn cat that had recently died. I started to see sparkles and flashes of light—not unlike the lights I'd seen in the hospital—dart around the room. When I photographed these flashes of light, an orb would appear in the picture.

Our friends donated money toward a piano for Elizabeth's high school. Elizabeth had loved singing and playing the guitar and the piano. The school held a memorial service to officially acknowledge the piano donation. Later, looking at the pictures taken of us at the service, I could see an orb over my left shoulder. I magnified it on the computer. It looked like Elizabeth looking at me! Now I knew that she wasn't just at home; she was where we were.

When I started to notice orbs in our photos, I started to look at photos taken before the accident. There was one photo in particular of Elizabeth riding her horse in the arena: she was surrounded by orbs. Now, they are so obvious, but why hadn't I noticed them before? There is one in front of her that is the size of half the height of the arena. She was surrounded by angels, preparing her for what was to come.

There were other signs of Elizabeth's presence. In our home, her bedroom is above ours. I started to hear bangs and other noises coming from her room. I would be in the house, and I would have a strong, full-body shiver, as if a spirit was walking through me. Our dog, Melanie, would run and bark down the hallway, as if she was seeing someone, although no one was there. In the car, whenever one of Elizabeth's favourite songs would play, a bright flash of light would fill the interior. And then, the phone calls started. No caller ID showed up. The phone would ring at 1:08 a.m., the time of the accident. A partial ring, just enough to get my attention. I knew it was Elizabeth, and I would say in my mind, I hear you! I know you are here!

One morning, I was alone in the family room looking through Elizabeth's music books for lyrics and inspiration for the dedication plaque for the piano. I was feeling sad; nothing was catching my attention. I was immersed in reading when outside my head, loud and clear, came a voice that filled the entire room, "Hi, Mommy!" It startled me. I looked around the room. The voice seemed to come from higher up in the family room's cathedral ceiling.

I walked upstairs and opened Cassandra's bedroom door. She was fast asleep. It was Elizabeth then; it had even sounded like her.

As I sit in that same spot, writing this now, that memory is just as real and vivid as it was that morning. How miraculous! How I am blessed. Whatever she had had to do to reach through to me, she had done it. I was able to feel her presence and hear her voice. Again, she let me know that she was still here.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Power of Love by Heather Scavetta. Copyright © 2014 Heather Scavetta. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

1 Corinthians 13:1–13 (ESV), v,
Foreword by Cassandra Scavetta, xi,
Preface, xiii,
Acknowledgments, xv,
A Door Closes, 1,
What Is That?, 8,
Precognition, 12,
Ask, and It Shall Be Given to You, 16,
A Door Opens, 18,
The Wall Comes Down, 20,
Cinematic Connection, 25,
Pieces Fall into Place, 29,
The New Road, 33,
First-Year Reflections, 37,
The Fork in the Road, 40,
Feline Love, 43,
Canine Angels, 46,
Two Souls, One Heart, 50,
The Lion, 53,
Arrested Development, 57,
Forgiveness and Gratitude, 61,
When the Student Is Ready, the Inner Teacher Appears, 64,
Clicks and Lights, 70,
I Am Not My Body, 73,
A Deeper Level of Trust, 76,
Palma, 88,
Discerning Energies, 96,
School of Miracles, 101,
Bringing It Forward, 111,
Destiny's Child, 115,
Mother, 117,
Heather's Prayer, 122,
School of Miracles Dictionary of Symbols, 123,
Resources, 127,
Index, 129,

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