The Relationship Fix: Dr. Jenn's 6-Step Guide to Improving Communication, Connection & Intimacy

by Jenn Mann, Harville Hendrix (Foreword by)

Overview

Relationships aren't easy, even the good ones. If you are on the verge of a divorce or break-up, in a great relationship, but want to take it to the next level, or single and want to make sure your next relationship is better, this book is for you. 
 
Based on cutting-edge research and almost three decades of clinical experience as a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice, Dr. Jenn Mann teaches you everything you need to know have a deeper, more satisfying relationship, and the skills to fix one that isn’t working.
 
Reading Dr. Jenn’s book is like sitting down with her for a personal session in her treatment room. Using her tell-it-like-it-is approach, Dr. Jenn guides you through the six steps needed to get your relationship on track and helps you to:
 

•  Use conflicts to strengthen your relationship 

• Create connection with your partner, even if you haven't felt it for years 

• Change bad patterns 

• Recognize and know what to do when unresolved issues are hurting the relationship

• Negotiate effectively to get your needs met 

• Make an effective apology using the four R's

• Learn to forgive

• Reignite your sex life 
 
The Relationship Fix is also filled with case studies and stories from Dr. Jenn's clients on VH1's Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn and her popular radio show, and on her own personal experiences.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781454915263
Publisher:	Sterling
Publication date:	10/13/2016
Pages:	352
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.30(d)

About the Author

Dr. Jenn Mann (formerly Dr. Jenn Berman) is a well-known psychotherapist, author, and television and radio personality. She is the host and therapist for VH1 Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn, now in its sixth season, and VH1 Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn. Dr. Jenn is a regular guest, as a psychological expert, on the TODAY show, The Doctors, Access Hollywood, The Insider, and Home & Family, and has appeared on hundreds of other shows, including The Early Show, The Talk, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Dr. Jenn is the author of SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years (Sterling); The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy Confident Kids (New World Library) and Rockin’ Babies (Sterling). She is a licensed Marriage, Family, and Child Therapist and has been in private practice for more than 20 years. Dr. Jenn lives in Beverly Hills with her family. To learn more about Dr. Jenn, visit DoctorJenn.com, or check her out on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook: @DrJennMann.

Table of Contents

Foreword ix

Introduction xii

Step 1 Create Connection 1

Connection Is King 2

Thirty-Six Questions That Will Make Your Partner Fall in Love with You 3

Attachment Needs from Cradle to Grave 5

The Culture of Autonomy 8

Attachment Threats 9

Danger, Will Robinson 13

Benefits of Attachment 14

Developing and Maintaining Trust 16

Take the High Road 18

Become an Expert on Your Partner 21

Ten Ways to Foster Connection in Your Relationship 24

Connection Deal Breakers 34

Invest Time and Energy in Your Relationship 35

Step 2 Fight Fair 39

The Four Core Relationship Needs 41

The Honeymoon Is Over 42

Ten Reasons Why You Think You Are Fighting 42

The Ten Real Reasons Why You Are Fighting 51

Why Fight Fair? 65

Twelve Rules to Fight Fair 68

Twelve Tips for Communicating Better and Deescalating Conflict 71

Anger Management 101 75

Domestic Violence 78

I Can Stop Any Time I Want: Addiction 78

All's Fair in Love and War 80

Step 3 Negotiate 81

Let the Negotiating Begin 81

Conflict in Long-Term Relationships 83

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself: Why You Can't Fear Conflict 83

Beginning a Difficult Negotiation 85

Stop! In the Name of Love: Ten Things That Prevent Healthy Negotiations 88

Spheres of Influence 106

More Than a Feeling 107

Six Skills You Need to Reduce Conflict in Your Relationship 110

Step 4 Work Through Your Childhood 119

Parents Are Our First Mirrors 120

Why We Marry Our Parents and Why It Hurts So Much 123

Your Imago 124

Family Systems 101 127

But That's How You Discipline a Kid! 131

How Trauma Changes Us 134

Trauma and Intimacy 138

The Five Abuses 139

Everyone Is Here But No One Is Home 151

Victim No More: Moving Past Your Childhood and Having a Healthy Relationship 167

Step 5 Forgive and Make Amends 175

Get Off Your High Horse 176

It's Not Personal 177

Relationship Crimes and Misdemeanors 181

Part A The Four Rs of Apology 183

After the Action Plan 195

Part B Your Contribution 196

To Forgive or Not to Forgive, That Is the Question 202

Cheap Forgiveness 203

What Is Forgiveness Anyway? 205

Being a "Human Bean" 206

What to Do When You Want to Forgive But Can't 208

Bottom Line 212

Is This Really Closure? 214

Step 6 Ignite Your Sex Life 217

Mind-Blowing Sex 219

Ten Things You Need to Know Before You Blow, Kiss, Lick, or Have Sex 220

In Defense of Monogamy 271

Monogamy, Not Monotony 277

Happy Endings 277

Appendix A 36 Questions 279

Appendix B Sexual Inventory 282

References 299

Acknowledgments 326

Index 329

Editorial Reviews

“Anyone who wants to improve their relationship should read this book. Dr. Jenn shares the roadmap to resolving the most common issues couples struggle with, using her no-holds-barred style and lots of entertaining stories. She backs up her suggestions with clinical experience and the latest research." —John M. Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
 
"Any couple who reads this book carefully will feel empowered by the sheer amount of information and guidance the author provides. And couples who use the information cannot help but fix their relationship, nay, transform it, because the process is so clear and direct." —Harville Hendrix, Ph. D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D., authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want

Praise for SuperBaby by Dr. Jenn Mann:
SuperBaby shares easy, everyday ways to nurture and encourage your baby’s development.”—Diane Debrovner, deputy editor, Parents Magazine
"Read SuperBaby, apply its teachings, and become a super parent or grandparent." —Dr. Nathaniel Branden, author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
 
Praise for Rockin’ Babies:
"As a father of seven and grandfather of six, I've read my share of fluffy bunny books but here's a book I can really get behind. Rockin' Babies rocks!" —Quincy Jones

From the Publisher