Table of Contents
Preface ix
About the Authors xi
1 Introduction to Emotional Intelligence 1
Emotional Intelligence Overview 2
A Word About EI Scales and Skills 4
The Student EQ Edge: Student Workbook: An Overview 4
Why Reflection? 5
2 Case Studies of Emotionally Intelligent (and Not Emotionally Intelligent!) Behavior 7
Case Study #1: Why Can’t I Make an A? 7
Case Study #2: 15 Years to Graduate 8
Case Study #3: But I’m Good! 10
Case Study #4: Starting College 11
Case Study #5: Shared Responsibilities 12
Case Study #6: A Costly Decision 13
Case Study #7: First Job Jitters 14
Case Study #8: No Way 15
Case Study #9: Twins? 17
3 Emotional Self-Awareness 19
Worksheet 3.1: Feelings Journal 21
Worksheet 3.2: Hot Buttons 22
Worksheet 3.3: ABCDE Exercise—The Impact of Th oughts on
Emotions and Behaviors 24
Worksheet 3.4: Hot Buttons on Reality TV 26
Worksheet 3.5: Positive and Negative Aff ect 27
Worksheet 3.6: Self-Development Plan for Emotional Self-Awareness 28
4 Self-Regard 29
Worksheet 4.1: Who Am I? 31
Worksheet 4.2: Locus of Control Scale (Rotter, 1966) 32
Worksheet 4.3: Positive and Negative Self-Talk 35
Worksheet 4.4: 3600 Feedback 36
Worksheet 4.5: Modern Family 37
Worksheet 4.6: Self-Development Plan for Self-Regard 38
5 Self-Actualization 39
Worksheet 5.1: Who Am I? 41
Worksheet 5.2: Emotions Meter 42
Worksheet 5.3: Quotes, Sayings, and Songs—A Window into You! 43
Worksheet 5.4: Defi ning Your Personal Mission Statement 44
Worksheet 5.5: The Amazing Race 45
Worksheet 5.6: Self-Development Plan for Self-Actualization 46
6 Emotional Expression 47
Worksheet 6.1: Observing Emotions 50
Worksheet 6.2: Observing Your Emotions 51
Worksheet 6.3: Follow the Leader 53
Worksheet 6.4: “I” Messages 57
Worksheet 6.5: TV Emotions 60
Worksheet 6.6: Self-Development Plan for Emotional Expression 62
7 Independence 63
Worksheet 7.1: Private Eye 66
Worksheet 7.2: By Yourself 69
Worksheet 7.3: Please Do Th is for Me! 70
Worksheet 7.4: Reality TV—Too Needy, Too Alone, or Just Right? 71
Worksheet 7.5: On My Own 72
Worksheet 7.6: Self-Development Plan for Independence 74
8 Assertiveness 75
Worksheet 8.1: Assertive, Aggressive, or Passive? 78
Worksheet 8.2: It Seems So Easy When Others Do It 80
Worksheet 8.3: Giving Feedback 81
Worksheet 8.4: Controversial Issues 83
Worksheet 8.5: Assertiveness Quiz 84
Worksheet 8.6: Self-Development Plan for Assertiveness 86
9 Interpersonal Relationship 87
Worksheet 9.1: My Favorite Person 90
Worksheet 9.2: Sharing Secrets 92
Worksheet 9.3: Scaling the Intimacy Wall 93
Worksheet 9.4: Beginning a Relationship 94
Worksheet 9.5: Getting Closer 95
Worksheet 9.6: Self-Development Plan for Interpersonal Relationship 96
10 Empathy 97
Worksheet 10.1: What Is Empathy? 99
Worksheet 10.2: The Art of Questions 100
Worksheet 10.3: Refl ective Listening 102
Worksheet 10.4: Empathy Assessment 103
Worksheet 10.5: Listening Even When It’s Hard to Do! 106
Worksheet 10.6: Self-Development Plan for Empathy 108
11 Social Responsibility 109
Worksheet 11.1: Doing What’s Right 112
Worksheet 11.2: Cooperation 114
Worksheet 11.3: A Company’s Social Responsibility Policy 115
Worksheet 11.4: My Social Responsibility Policy 116
Worksheet 11.5: Take Action! 117
Worksheet 11.6: Self-Development Plan for Social Responsibility 118
12 Reality Testing 119
Worksheet 12.1: My Big Decision 122
Worksheet 12.2: The Mirrors Around You 124
Worksheet 12.3: Failed Reality Testing 126
Worksheet 12.4: Decision-Making Interviews 127
Worksheet 12.5: Reality-Testing Scenarios 128
Worksheet 12.6: Self-Development Plan for Reality Testing 130
13 Problem Solving 131
Worksheet 13.1: What Is My Emotion? 134
Worksheet 13.2: Failed Decisions Revisited 136
Worksheet 13.3: Solving Your Problems 137
Worksheet 13.4: But Can I Really Change My Emotion? 139
Worksheet 13.5: One Fine Day 140
Worksheet 13.6: Self-Development Plan for Problem Solving 141
14 Impulse Control 143
Worksheet 14.1: Marshmallow Cravings 146
Worksheet 14.2: But I Want . . . 147
Worksheet 14.3: Survivor 148
Worksheet 14.4: No Regrets? 149
Worksheet 14.5: Strategies for Success 150
Worksheet 14.6: Self-Development Plan for Impulse Control 151
15 Flexibility 153
Worksheet 15.1: Refl ections About Change 156
Worksheet 15.2: Flexibility Survey 157
Worksheet 15.3: The Price of Infl exibility 159
Worksheet 15.4: Stretching Yourself 161
Worksheet 15.5: Flexibility Forecasting 162
Worksheet 15.6: Self-Development Plan for Flexibility 164
16 Stress Tolerance 165
Worksheet 16.1: Identifying Your Stressors 168
Worksheet 16.2: Understanding Why You Get Stressed 169
Worksheet 16.3: Irrational Th inking and Stress 170
Worksheet 16.4: Resources for Coping 172
Worksheet 16.5: Stress Busters 173
Worksheet 16.6: Self-Development Plan for Stress Tolerance 174
17 Optimism 175
Worksheet 17.1: Optimism Begins with Framing 179
Worksheet 17.2: De-motivators—Watch Your Self-Talk 180
Worksheet 17.3: Assessing Your Optimism 182
Worksheet 17.4: Pep Talks and Persistence 184
Worksheet 17.5: Perseverance Defi ned 186
Worksheet 17.6: Self-Development Plan for Optimism 187
18 Happiness 189
Worksheet 18.1: Taking Stock of Your Happiness Level 192
Worksheet 18.2: Laugh a Little, Laugh a Lot 193
Worksheet 18.3: Does Money Buy Happiness? 194
Worksheet 18.4: Well-Being Indicators 195
Worksheet 18.5: The Pursuit of Happyness 197
Worksheet 18.6: One Commitment—Self-Development Plan for Happiness 198
References 199
Appendix A KISS Strategies for Improving Emotional Intelligence 201
Appendix B Movie Selections for Learning About Emotional Intelligence 213