You've been kidnapped and spirited out of your home country by night across a dozen time zones. Next thing you know, you're crouching inside a bamboo cage on the outskirts of a thatch-roofed village, murmuring with activity, tucked somewhere into the darkest primeval recesses of some tropical island. There's incense. As you nurse your zip tie bruises, your first thought might be, "Hey, what month is it right now in whatever native language they speak here?" Or maybe your ten thousandth, after wondering whatever did happen to Amelia Earhart or Michael Rockefeller. In either case, you'll be ready now. Here are the sets of calendar months for 850 languages and dialects, complete with profiles of each. This is the database feeding "Today's date in 850 languages" at my website. There, you only get to see one month at a time. Here, all twelve. Most of these languages are still living, some just barely, while several dozen are certifiably extinct. It's a pretty safe bet a compilation like this exists nowhere else. I'm favoring languages that lie at least a bit off the beaten track, offer Gregorian calendar terms departing substantially from our modern neo-Latin, or both. Italian, German, French? You're not here for those. Instead, let's shoot for the Monégasque Ligurian, the Luxembourgish, and maybe the Vivaro-Alpine flavor of Occitan also heard in those respective regions. Of course, you'll likely spot languages far more familiar to you. Many of these entries will feature archaic or less-known terms or
scripts, though, so you might find yourself looking at them in a new way.