The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More

by Violet Blue, Carol Queen

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More by Violet Blue

Join the legions of couples and singles who are making their hottest sexual fantasies come true. Whether you're looking for an endless supply of fantasy ideas or expert advice for a playful, imaginative sex life that turns you both on, this information-packed book has everything you need to know. The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy helps readers learn their lover's secret fantasies; engage in hot, dramatic role-play without feeling silly; have a threesome-without jealousy; explore sex parties and swinging; have sex in public; create thrilling S&M scenarios; make their own porn and erotic photos; and strip, give lap dances, and talk dirty. Also included are comprehensive lists of the most popular fantasies and fetishes complete with suggestions for props, toys, and costumes (and where to buy them), racy sex games for lovers, expert help for deciding just how far to take your fantasies, and hot new stories by best-selling erotica author Alison Tyler.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781627780582
Publisher: Cleis Press
Publication date: 07/21/2014
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 684,726
File size: 803 KB

About the Author

Violet Blue is the bestselling author of four sex instruction books: The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos, and The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy; the editor of five erotica collections: Sweet Life, Sweet Life 2, Taboo, Best Women's Erotica 2006, and Lips Like Sugar; and the editor of the nonfiction collection Best Sex Writing 2005, all published by Cleis Press. Violet also writes about erotica, pornography, and sexual pleasure and health for various magazines, and she is the creator of the popular podcast Open Source Sex. Violet Blue has appeared in dozens of publications and radio and TV programs; the following is a selected list. Violet has been interviewed and quoted by national and international magazines including O, The Oprah Magazine, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, Jane, First for Women, Glamour, Grace Woman, Maxim, Marie Claire, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Blender, Penthouse, Redbook, Wired, and more; TV appearances on The History Channel’s Sex in History series and Playboy TV’s Sexcetera; radio interviews including The Dr. Laura Berman Show, The Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue Johansen, and a regular monthly guest appearance on Sirius OutQ Radio’s Derek and Romaine Show; and selected websites including CBS Healthwatch, Jane’s Guide, and She has been the subject of feature articles in the San Francisco Bay Guardian, SF Weekly, San Jose Mercury News, and the Wall Street Journal and has been quoted extensively in several books including 365 Days of Sensational Sex by Lou Paget and The Guide to Getting it On! by Paul Joannides. Violet is a trained sex educator and lectures to human sexuality students at San Francisco State University, UC Berkeley, and to trainees at the national sex crisis and information hotline San Francisco Sex Information. She lives in San Francisco. Visit her at The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys "A very useful introduction to the many different types of toys currently available. Packed with practical advice, this should be required reading for new retail staff." —Erotic Trade Only Advance praise: "No longer are toys solely for solo pleasure. Violet's vast research and expertise in this area can guide both novice and toy-experienced couples." — Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook

Read an Excerpt

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to a sex party? Thought about a threesome? Imagined tying up your lover for an evening of erotic power—or submission? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to pretend you were schoolgirl, or a doctor. Or in your own private moments, perhaps you dream of being seduced by a rock star. Or your partner has confessed to a fantasy of being a sexy firefighter saving pretty girls from danger. Have you ever thought about doing the most forbidden sex act you could think of with that new secretary, in the office, after hours?

Think of sexual fantasy as the cornerstone of your individual sexual expression. An erotic fantasy is any thought, idea, image, or scenario that interests you sexually. It doesn’t necessarily have to turn you on, or by contrast it can be the one thing that gets your blood boiling.

If you think you don’t fantasize, think again. Fantasies emerge from your erotic imagination in countless different forms, from fragmented sexual snippets to incredibly detailed narratives. Imagining romance, dreaming of someone you find attractive, masturbating to stories of taboo or even impossible sex, and vividly conjuring scenarios or sexual couplings you hope to make real in the near future are all ways we experience sexual fantasy.

Why do people like to fantasize about sex so much? Ever tried an aphrodisiac that worked? Not many people have. Even the legendary “Spanish Fly” is a myth—but sexual fantasies truly are Mother Nature’s 100 percent natural, guaranteed aphrodisiac.

Fantasy can make masturbation intense and focused. You can set aside an hour just for your own pleasure, and include lubricant, a reliable toy such as a vibrator, and a fantasy—conjured by your own imagination, or taken from pictures in a book or magazine, or an adult movie.

Fantasy helps us to feel sexually self-reliant. Masturbating to a reliable fantasy and enjoying how good you can make yourself feel is one of the most empowering things you can do.

Try casting yourself in the starring role of your favorite X-rated film, whether in your head while masturbating, while watching the action onscreen, or in real life, with a lover.

Or get out of a sexual rut, no matter if you’re single or in a couple, by finding new fantasies to explore. For ideas, read erotica and sex-tip books such as this one, explore the wide world of porn or romance movies, or visit Internet chat rooms as a voyeur.

You can “try on” sexual activities in fantasy. Think of it as an imaginary dress rehearsal. What would it be like to fellate your well-endowed new boyfriend or spank your new girlfriend’s ample bottom?

You can go to extremes without real-life risks; in fact, you can vividly imagine any far-out sexual scenario that turns you on, without risking a thing. You can role-play scenarios that would be dangerous or taboo in real life, such as sex with a stranger, with many strangers, kidnapping, age play, forced sex, and more.

Spice up your shared sex life and reach deeper levels of intimacy with your partner by sharing tried-and-true fantasies and discovering new ones. You can build up to trying out your favorite fantasies in real life.

With fantasy, you can enjoy sexual activities and scenarios you’re not experiencing on your own or in your relationship. Sometimes we want something our partners don’t. Fantasy portrayals, watching what you want in porn, and well-planned masturbation sessions can get you what you want without upsetting your relationship.

Sometimes when we tell others what we like to fantasize about, our scenarios become others’ fantasies as well. And when we brag to friends about real-life exploits, we never know which stories, innocently told over morning coffee, will become that evening’s erotic fodder—or the script for your best friend’s weekend tryst. We can make our fantasies real, if we choose—or in some cases, if we dare. You’ll read more on this topic throughout the book.

Fantasies are your own private, personal sex toys. They send a direct current buzzing from your brain down to your groin. The right sexual fantasy, running in your head like your own private movie, can turn you on like a switch. When you know what works for you, your own vivid imagination can bring you to dizzying heights of arousal—and take you over the orgasmic edge.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Mirror of Desire

Chapter 1: Choose Your Own Adventure
Fantasy and Fetish
Popular Fantasy Themes
When Fantasies Make You Feel Bad
Fantasy Research
The Perfect Match

Chapter 2: Fantasies for One
Masturbation: Just Do It
Hot Masturbation Sessions: Fantasies, Sex Toys, and More
What Not to Stick in Your Butt
Change Habits and Learn New Tricks
A Tool for Men: The Squeeze Technique
A Tool for Women: Your Vibrator
The Golden Rules of Anal Masturbation
Three in One

Chapter 3: Fantasies for Two
Building a Fantasy Scenario
In Your Head, or in Reality?
How to Ask for a Spanking
Get a Little Closer
Getting to know your Lover's Fantasies
Sexy Surprises
The Sex Buffet
Talking to Your Partner
When Your Lover is Reluctant
Ready to Play?
Not Tonight

Chapter 4: Role Play
Erotic Adult Theatre for Two
Waiting in the Wings
Erotic Acting
Plan It, Janet
Classic Roles
Where to Shop
Gender Play
Age Play

Chapter 5: Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes
Three, Four, and More
Adding Someone New
First Impressions
Get Together, and Get Off
Sex Positions
Hooking Up: Cruising and Advertising
California Dreaming

Chapter 6: Weaving a Spell: Striptease, Hot Talk, and Erotic Massage
How To Strip
Lap Dance 101
The Art of Dirty Talk
Giving an Erotic Massage

Chapter 7: Strip Clubs, Phone Sex, and Call Girls- for Two
Strip Clubs and Lap Dances
How Will They Treat Me at the Strip Club?
Peep Booths
Arcades Don't Have Video Games
Phone Sex
Call Girls and Prostitutes

Chapter 8: Public Sex
What's on the Menu
Where to Do It
Role-Playing in Public
Alternative Sex Parties
The View from Paris

Chapter 9: Fetishes
A Fetishist Looks Just Like You
How to Have Sex with a Fetishist
Classic Fetishes
Networking with Other Fetishists and Their Partners
Other People's Panties

Chapter 10: Erotic Dominance and Submission: S/M Fantasies
Sweet Submission
A Sampling of Submissive Roles
When Being in Charge Turns on You
A Sampling of Dominant Roles
Captivity and Erotic Torment
Always Have a Safe Word
Teasing your Captive
Pleasurable Pain and Punishment
Public S/M Clubs
Organizations and Private Clubs
Seeing a Professional Dominatrix

Chapter 11: Sex Games
Ten Erotic Escapades
Messy Fun
Aphrodisiac Seductions
So, You Want to Be in Pictures?

Chapter 12: Safer Sex
The Gear
Safer Sex Chart

Chapter 13: Resources
Resources for Sex Toys, Books, and Videos: U.S., Canada, International

Chapter 14: References

About the Author

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