As her physical body continued to suffer and betray her, it brought great pain. Pain like she had never experienced in her life. She was not prepared for it. It was in that moment that she realized the physical pain was just a mirror of the emotional pain. Days turned into weeks, and the pain subsided, only enough to become a dull ache on some days, while on others, it was so intense she could barely breathe.
If a broken heart and disappointment could be quantified, if emotional pain could be felt like that in the physical sense, then this would have been the measurement. It was as if a Pandora's box had been opened. The love had been so intense, and yet the healing and pain just as cutting. How could something bring such an amazing sense of life and death at the same time?
So much territory had been covered in such a short time. The depth of emotions and the sheer, unrelenting grief were feelings she couldn't begin to understand or explain. She found herself swallowed up in a void-a vast, empty place so big she could put her hand in the hole it left inside her. Her world had been ripped apart and what she had once known had been thrown onto the ground, trampled along the way.
She found she could barely function. There were days and moments when the grief was so heavy and overbearing that she wasn't sure she could endure it. Death would surely have been easier. With death, it would have been final. But yet, this was death . . . a living death, a seemingly never-ending kind of death that offered no release from pain. This was death of a different type, but yes, it was, indeed, death.
But still, she remained breathing . . . and hurting. Grief and pain look different on everyone. Grief always follows death. It's all part of the process. Her mourning and grief were real. The pain was real. Grief is like living two lives; one where you pretend everything's okay and the other is when your heart screams silently in pain. She had felt something like this once before in her life when her dad had died. But this was different. She was alive and so was he, separated by a world of confusion and pain. This different kind of death was filled with grief and mourning and heartache, but with no goodbyes, no closure . . . no burial.
This was a death of dreams, passion, desire, love-and of promises. They had been soulmates, but the completion once there was no longer. The circle had been broken. And as she mourned the loss of all they had, she realized: He couldn't stay, and her love couldn't keep him.
Sometimes you have to accept the fact that things will never go back to the way they used to be, and life goes on anyway.
We struggle with less than perfect circumstances in our lives. Secrets we hide from those closest to us. It's what with do with those times that matter. Infidelity is one of those secrets; a dirty word that we whisper behind our hands. We brand and banish cheaters to the fringes of society. It makes for good gossip and talk IS cheap. Rarely have we heard from the other woman. How did she arrive at this place in life?
Come to an understanding that she is human and hurts and heals just like every other person
Netti Francis recounts her journey in a candid, openly honest, and raw look into infidelity in this insanely powerful book. Walk with her as she finds redemption and restoration in her relationship with God and her marriage.
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About the Author
She continues to chase the dream.
You may contact her via email firstname.lastname@example.org