The Vision

The Vision

by Lori Fields
The Vision

The Vision

by Lori Fields

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Overview

Janet is a young woman with high anxiety and a distant family. James is a teenage boy with a sick sister and low self-esteem. Jacob is an older, disgruntled gentleman with no passion for life. These three very different people, of different ages, are all in need of something or someone to help them with their specific challenges they face at this time in their lives. A vision, so powerful, so loving, and so welcoming comes into their lives and changes everything and brings them together in a lifelong friendship.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452563275
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 12/04/2012
Pages: 160
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.37(d)

Read an Excerpt

The Vision

A Novel
By Lori Fields

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2012 Lori L Fields
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6327-5


Chapter One

Janet

"Please, please, let me make it to the other side of the bridge." Janet gripped the bus strap so hard, her knuckles turned white. The bus was heaving, as usual, on a Monday morning 7:30 commute to downtown Vancouver. Janet had to stand, which she hated, because it made her feel ungrounded somehow and vulnerable. She could feel the panic attack rise up in her and inhaled shallowly, as if she couldn't get the next breath. "I have to get off this bus," she thought to herself.

Mercifully, the bus approached the end of the bridge and started down the causeway. She could feel herself relaxing slightly, but the panic was still present. Janet rang the bell and got off at the first stop after the causeway. Her knees almost buckled as she stepped off the last step of the bus. "What is wrong with me?"

She sat down on the first bench she approached and began inhaling deeply and fully, like her therapist had suggested. "Why couldn't I do that on the bus?" Janet reproached herself.

She had nearly ten blocks to walk to her office in three-inch heels, and she could feel blisters forming already from her new shoes. It was still early—she didn't need to work until nine—so she had an hour. Janet knew she couldn't take the bus, but she was still shaky and couldn't walk just yet. She turned herself around and saw the lagoon. There were some swans and ducks in there and it looked peaceful. Janet got up and walked towards it. She had always loved the water, any body of water—lakes, oceans, rivers, even ponds. Water made her feel at ease. Her anxiety dissipated when she was near it. That was one of the reasons she stayed on the West Coast, so that she would be surrounded by it.

Janet sighed deeply. She had made such progress lately, by getting a new job, joining a yoga class, eating sensibly—not bingeing or purging—and even thinking about online dating. She knew there was no way she could drive across the bridge to work, but she could take the bus. It was just that damn bridge and the fact that she couldn't get a seat. She'd thought that the earlier she went, the better the chance she would have to get a seat. But she'd had to stand up and let the old lady have a seat. She could just see the faces of everyone on the bus if she said, "Sorry, dear, but you can't have my seat, because I suffer from panic attacks." Meanwhile, the old dear is nearly breaking her legs trying to stay in one spot on the bus.

Janet's feet were killing her. "I need a pair of runners right now." Her gaze went to the underside of a bush about a foot away. To her amazement, there was a pair of pink and white running shoes. Nothing to shout about, but fairly clean and decent. "Wow," she said aloud, "I can't believe it." She went and picked them up to examine them further. They didn't smell and there looked to be new insoles inside them. She put her foot in one of them and miraculously it fit. She felt like Dorothy putting on the red shoes for the first time.

"I will only borrow them; I will bring them back," she promised. For a fleeting moment, Janet thought about what she might catch from these shoes, but it somehow didn't seem to matter. She decided to have a bit of a walk before heading to the office. There weren't a lot of people around and she felt invigorated by the cool air. Amazingly, her thoughts were kind and not recriminating as they usually were when she messed up. "I will try again tomorrow," she promised herself and felt better about the situation already.

There was a clearing off to the right of the path and, for some reason, she entered it. It wasn't exactly a marked path but it was accessible and fairly clear. She carried on walking about a hundred yards, and there seemed to be an altar of some kind, just ahead. Someone had put some stones on top of it and flowers. Janet went closer and touched the top of it. There was a breeze that came up and she felt something behind her, so she turned around. There was nothing there but when she turned back, she couldn't believe what her eyes saw. Just above the altar was a white light so dazzling that she had to adjust her focus. There was an outline of woman, fully covered. The face was visible—it was soft, ageless and incredibly beautiful. But this was not the beauty you see in fashion magazines, but rather the beauty of a landscape, a painting, a sculpture or a dance.

"Where did you come from and who are you?" Janet asked. There was a halo of golden light around the woman's head, and she was holding a crucifix. "My God, I mean, holy shit ... sorry, but you're the Mother Mary ..." Janet felt the need to kneel before the apparition, but she couldn't bow her head. She had to look at her, almost drink in her loveliness. Her heart felt like it was growing bigger to hold all the love that was coming into it from this vision.

The vision didn't speak or move, only smiled. It was so powerful that Janet remained transfixed for what seemed like hours. Then as quickly as it had appeared, the vision faded away. Janet got up off her knees and brushed the dirt from her stockings. Her legs trembled as she stood up and spoke aloud. "What the heck happened just now?"

She turned around, embarrassed by her actions, hoping no one saw her. She ran along the path back to the main walkway. She looked at her watch and it was 8:30—she had half an hour to get to work. She took off the runners, placed them back where they originated and put her own shoes back on. Her high heels felt as comfortable as the runners, and she was amazed at how easy it was to walk in them. Janet didn't have time to think about what had just occurred and what she had seen, but she was filled with a sense of well-being. She started up the long trek to her office and felt like she was "walking on water."

Chapter Two

James

James toyed with the idea of skipping class but his parents would go ballistic. He was already failing math and science, and they had threatened to take away his computer if he didn't pull up his grades. Big joke, his parents—they were separating for a while but "trying to work things out"—yeah, they had divorce written all over themselves.

James was walking through the park; he didn't want to hang out at school during lunch hour. The park made him feel better, unlike everything else in his life. School was crap. He was mad at his friends because they were being stupid about, about ... well, just being stupid. His younger sister had some kind of autoimmune condition he couldn't understand, let alone pronounce, and his face was full of zits. The only thing that made him feel better was smoking some pot. It was no big deal and didn't hurt anyone. He wished he had a joint on him now. He didn't even want to listen to his iPod. "God, my life sucks," James said out loud. He cut through to a path he normally didn't use, but today he felt compelled to walk along it. Up ahead he could see a bright light. "Oh shit, is it the cops?" Thankfully, he didn't have a joint on him. James was curious, so he walked towards the light.

"They must be filming some kind of movie or TV show," James thought. He approached the lighted area tentatively. He could see an altar up ahead and immediately thought of some kind of "goth freak show." James had a hard time understanding what it meant and why anyone would want to dress up like they are vampires or the dead. "Man, they are some weird dudes."

As he approached the altar, the light became brighter and he thought he could see a woman standing in the light. "What the fuck is that?" Strangely, James wanted to go closer. He inched his way towards the apparition. He could clearly see what looked like an angel at first, but then he didn't see any wings. The woman wore a long flowing gown and roses lay at her feet. Instinctively, James wanted to run away but he was frozen to the spot. He began to feel calmer and more at ease as he continued to look at her. His whole body relaxed and he felt like he did when he toked up. She smiled at him and held her hands out as a gesture of love.

"I don't know who you are, lady, but I need to keep looking at you." For what seemed like hours, James stayed riveted to the spot. Gently, almost like a sunset, the apparition started to fade and then diminished altogether. James began breathing rapidly, as he felt like he had been holding his breath. He looked at his watch: 12:45. He had only been there about 30 minutes. It seemed way longer than that. He knew he had to get back to school. James began the walk through the park. He didn't know what had happened but he felt lighter, like someone had taken a load off him. He also felt the urge to run back to school. "Man, what a trip," he said as he jogged back.

Chapter Three

Jacob

Jacob's whole body ached as he walked through the park with his cane. "My doctor said I have to keep active. Sure, he would say that because he doesn't have an arthritic body like mine. Let him walk in my shoes," Jacob muttered to himself.

Every morning for the past year, Jacob had walked a portion of the park to get the exercise his doctor subscribed to. He even followed this regime when it rained, but not in the snow, which was too dangerous. Sadly, there was no snow this year but lots of rain. "What do you expect in a rainforest?" Jacob would often say. "Maybe I need to move to Osoyoos, where it is warmer, or better yet Florida." His brother Al lived there and was always bragging about how good the weather was.

Jacob was born in the States but immigrated in the early '50s to Vancouver for work. Here he met his beautiful wife, Lorraine. Sadly, Lorraine had died two years ago and he was left on his own. They had no children. Jacob struggled with life, even when he'd had Lorraine beside him. He seemed to be always fighting something—his work, his distant family, Lorraine's family and mostly himself. Jacob felt a huge amount of guilt that Lorraine had died and he was still here. She loved life and was the most positive person he had ever met. "Why did God have to take her, why not me?" he would often ask himself. The only reason he did not give up on life was his promise to Lorraine that he would forge ahead, no matter what.

"Lorraine, why did you make me promise something I don't know if I can do?" Jacob would sit before her picture and talk to her at night. "I have aches and pains. I have a hole in my heart since you left me. I just don't know if I can do this ..."

However, every morning he got up and had his oatmeal and the multitude of tablets his doctor prescribed for him. Simone, his care-aide, would come in at 9:00 a.m. every morning to make sure Jacob was okay and to give him a shave and prepare his cocktail of drugs and favourite "Metamucil martini." Jacob didn't feel that he needed anyone to come in and look after him, as they had a townhouse with all the maintenance looked after by the council, but it was one of Lorraine's requests that he do so. "I am still being henpecked beyond the grave," he would lament to Lorraine's picture. "I should be allowed to stay in my pajamas all day and watch TV, not get up like I have something to live for."

Simone would do a bit of light housework, while Jacob did his crossword puzzle and read the daily paper. She would prepare a light lunch and make a stew or casserole for his dinner. Jacob then went for his daily walk after lunch and Simone would leave for the day. Once he got going, he started to enjoy the fresh air and the noises of the ducks and various birds, but he would never admit it to anyone, let alone himself. The park seemed deserted this afternoon and this made him feel lonely. Despite what Jacob thought he wanted (to be left alone), he liked to have people around him—not to talk to, but as a steady presence. He saw a path that seemed to be trampled on of late and, although it wasn't paved, it was pretty clear and flat. He walked along it.

He came upon an altar. Jacob stood a fair distance away from it and was about to turn around and leave when he smelled the waft of fragrance, Lorraine's fragrance. He moved closer to the altar and bent over to smell the flowers on it, thinking that these might be the source of the fragrance. The altar suddenly lit up and a vision came into view. Jacob could see a woman clearly and reached up with his cane to see if he could touch the apparition. The cane became hot to the touch and he dropped it. To his surprise, Jacob was able to stand up without the cane's support. The woman in the vision smiled at Jacob and held her crucifix to her chest.

"I know who you are," Jacob said, "but do you know I am Jewish? I am not supposed to believe in you." Jacob shook his head as if to banish the vision, but it persisted. "What did Simone give me this morning? Some kind of drug?" Jacob looked at the apparition, perplexed. "Shouldn't you be in Lourdes or somewhere like that? What are you doing in Stanley Park? And why are you before me? I know, this is Lorraine's doing. She was Catholic, and she never did understand what it was like to be Jewish. I am not a practising Jew, you understand, but fourth-generation Jewish, so that must count for something. I think maybe you got your person mixed up. Maybe the person you were supposed to show yourself to was sick or something, and I came into the wrong path. I am always showing up where I am not wanted, so I will just leave now and you can get back to whatever it is you need to do."

Jacob felt that he needed to pick up his cane and walk away, but he didn't want to. In fact, he couldn't. He just stood there. "Well, I guess I am staying here for a while ... hope that is okay. Do you see Lorraine at all? She was really a saint, you know. I am sure you must have bumped into her somewhere up there. Can you tell her I miss her and I am so sorry that it wasn't me that was taken? It is so unfair that she had to die and I had to stay." Tears began rolling down his face and he felt a gentle hand brushing them aside. He immediately stopped crying and looked up at the apparition. He felt a love that he had never felt before, not a love like Lorraine's love but a love for himself. He felt a kindness and a knowledge that he was worth something. It made him see, for the first time, that he was important and worth caring about.

The light began to fade and the fragrance wafted away. Jacob found himself alone once more. He picked up his cane without any effort and started back along the path. His body seemed stronger. There was not the jarring pain when he walked and, for the first time in his life, he was speechless.

Chapter Four

Janet

Janet had not been back to the place where she saw the vision. She had thought about it a lot, and had every intention of going back there, but somehow never made it. She convinced herself that she didn't need to go because she felt so much stronger, happier and safer. There was also this worry in the back of her mind that it wouldn't be there again and perhaps she had made it all up! Janet did not have the courage to tell anyone what she saw and a small part of her wanted to keep the vision for herself. Janet knew undeniably that the vision was the Virgin Mary, or Mother Mary, whatever the correct terminology was. She was not religious but all through her childhood there was a pull towards something greater than herself, something greater than everyone; it kept her going through all her dark days. Janet had been adopted when she was a baby. Despite never being told she was adopted, she somehow knew. Her first recollection was at age five when she told her mother that she knew she wasn't her "real little girl," that she was "borrowed" from her real mom; she remembered the strange look on her mother's face when she declared this. All through her life she felt "borrowed" and not belonging. Janet felt that this made her connection to God so much stronger, and although she did not belong in her family, she did belong to God.

It really wasn't a surprise to her that her family (mother, father and their biological son) moved to a different province when she was 20. They didn't seem to intentionally disown her but they wanted to put as much distance as they could between them and her. She wasn't a bad daughter, just a disappointment. Janet had a lot of phobias and insecurities that they found hard to deal with, especially as they were so secure in themselves and their own being. They didn't understand how someone that they brought up could be so vulnerable and afraid of almost everything.

Janet finished high school at the Lucas centre (night school), because she had so many panic attacks at high school, she just couldn't go there anymore after grade 10. She was intelligent and even got a scholarship when she did graduate. Unfortunately, she couldn't use it. There was no way she was going to go to university or college. Her parents left her with some financial security and even rented her an apartment. Janet knew this wasn't going to last forever and she didn't feel entitled to a free ride anyway. With the help of a good therapist, Janet made a move into the working world. She got a job as a receptionist in a small leasing firm and became a valuable employee for the company. Due to the economic times, however, the business folded after three years and Janet became unemployed.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The Vision by Lori Fields Copyright © 2012 by Lori L Fields. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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