Rescuing others, losing yourself.
Are you a white knight? Are you attracted to needy, damaged, or helpless people? Do you feel like your love can heal your partner? Are you overly involved in your partner's problems? Are you hungry for constant reassurance in relationships? Do you make excuses for your partner? Do you try to "save" people from themselves?
In legends and fairytales, the white knight rescues the damsel in distress, falls in love, and saves the day. Real-life white knights are men and women who enter into romantic relationships with damaged and vulnerable partners, hoping that love will transform their partner's behavior or life-a relationship pattern that seldom leads to a storybook ending.
If this dynamic sounds familiar to you, you may be a white knight; hoping to receive admiration, validation, or love from your partners, but managing only to cheat yourself out of emotionally healthy relationships. It's time to come to your own rescue, and this book can help.
With well-written analysis, engaging insight, and salient case studies, The White Knight Syndrome is a much-needed and well-executed guide to understanding and resolving the white knight syndrome in yourself.
|Publisher:||Echo Point Books & Media|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.45(d)|
About the Author
Mary C. Lamia, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in private practice in Marin County, CA. She is also a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA.
Marilyn J. Krieger, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Marin County, CA.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
The White Knight Syndrome gave me some new insights into a number of relationships around me. The first half of the book has so much great information per square inch that it took me a while to get through it. All the while I was learning tons about myself and others. This is practical, well written, and thoughtful. Rescuing behavior isn't a new topic, but the authors breath new life into it, providing new ways to consider long and short term interactions. The second half of the book presents case histories which illuminate how being a white knight can affect so many of our varied relationships. If you have any questions about rescuing behavior, this book is a great resource. I admit it. I'm feeling a little rescued.
In an accessible, straightforward fashion the authors patiently explain what it means to be a "white knight", helping to identify this syndrome in ourselves or friends and loved-ones in our lives. A very insightful, informative book.
The authors of The White Knight Syndrome describe the very common relationship problem of seeking out partners who need rescuing, while ignoring one's own needs. Using theory and composite case examples, they show how this pattern develops as an adaptation to early experiences. They encourage thoughtful consideration of the problem and solutions rather than pathologize those with the pattern. The White Knight Syndrome is both sophisticated, benefiting from the vast knowledge and experience of its authors, and eminently practical and helpful to non-clinicians and clinicians alike - a true accomplishment!
Very readable, and easy to understand how the White Knight Syndrome applies to you personally. The authors did a great job!