To Marco (No I'm not going to add Polo),
Last night was a mistake. A big mistake. Or rather should I say small? I don't want to hurt your ego. I should have listened to your sister. You're insufferable and rude and far too cocky. Don't worry, I won't be telling anyone what happened because as far as I'm concerned it never did. Please stop calling me. I do not need to come and collect my bra from you. Or the tshirt you lent me to sleep in when I got cold. No, that one act doesn't make you a gentleman. And no, I do not need to have your smell near me to fall asleep. In fact, it does the opposite and gives me nightmares.
P.S. No, I do not want a repeat in the office at work.
P.P.S. The texts I sent you this morning were drunk texts. I was still hungover. Do not construe them as anything else.
P.P.P.S. Could you have given me anymore love bites? There was no need to mark your territory because I am not yours!