Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

Horace Catchpole is an only son who was brought up in a single-parent family in Wigan. He is 28-years-old and still lives in the same house as he has always lived with his mother, Melissa. Melissa is a woman who dislikes her son intensely and is cruel and greedy in disposition. She has always ill-treated Horace and has reared and treated him far worse than any other Cinderella ever experienced at the hands of a tyrannical mother-figure. While the frugal Melissa lives well herself, she does so at the expense of making other economies in her life where Horace is concerned. Horace is clothed in rags and ill-fitting garments and is forced to eat scraps and left-overs. He sleeps on a bed without sheets and in a dark room. All of his day is devoted to fetching, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing and slaving for his mother. Along with his fair share of daily beatings, Horace’s life is very unhappy and without any sense of meaning. His mother has controlled him totally since he was born and ruled him with an iron hand that he is no longer able to think for himself and comes across as an apology for a creature; a wimp of a man.

Then the day comes when his mother sells him to another woman who wants to marry a submissive man who will carry out her will without question. Horace marries Mildred Savage, a twice-married twice- widowed woman whose monstrous personality and cruel and greedy character traits matches those of Horace’s mother.

Horace fares no better under his monstrous wife than he did under his mother. Then, in order to save money, both women propose that all three of them live together. With two matriarchal monsters in the house giving out their orders to Horace, his life remains as bad if not worse than before.

Initially, the two monstrous women feign false compliments and friendship in order to wheedle themselves into each other's confidences in the hope that they can discover where each keeps their savings so they can rob them. Eventually, they find that they are unable to keep up their pretence and household hostilities break out with the hapless Horace in the middle. They eventually decide to kill each other and doom beckons until Horace finds his courage and the worm begins to turn.

Horace Catchpole and Two Crude Dames is one of my most favourite stories. It gave me enormous pleasure to write and it is suitable for any reader from twelve to adulthood. It is set in Wigan in the early 1960’s. The two monstrous women in Horace’s life are a composite of every horrible and obnoxious woman that any man has ever come across. Imagine the worse kind of mother a chap could possibly have and the worse type of wife he could ever marry and then imagine trying to live under the same roof with each monstrous giving out their contradictory orders. That is what Horace Catchpole had to tolerate.

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Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

Horace Catchpole is an only son who was brought up in a single-parent family in Wigan. He is 28-years-old and still lives in the same house as he has always lived with his mother, Melissa. Melissa is a woman who dislikes her son intensely and is cruel and greedy in disposition. She has always ill-treated Horace and has reared and treated him far worse than any other Cinderella ever experienced at the hands of a tyrannical mother-figure. While the frugal Melissa lives well herself, she does so at the expense of making other economies in her life where Horace is concerned. Horace is clothed in rags and ill-fitting garments and is forced to eat scraps and left-overs. He sleeps on a bed without sheets and in a dark room. All of his day is devoted to fetching, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing and slaving for his mother. Along with his fair share of daily beatings, Horace’s life is very unhappy and without any sense of meaning. His mother has controlled him totally since he was born and ruled him with an iron hand that he is no longer able to think for himself and comes across as an apology for a creature; a wimp of a man.

Then the day comes when his mother sells him to another woman who wants to marry a submissive man who will carry out her will without question. Horace marries Mildred Savage, a twice-married twice- widowed woman whose monstrous personality and cruel and greedy character traits matches those of Horace’s mother.

Horace fares no better under his monstrous wife than he did under his mother. Then, in order to save money, both women propose that all three of them live together. With two matriarchal monsters in the house giving out their orders to Horace, his life remains as bad if not worse than before.

Initially, the two monstrous women feign false compliments and friendship in order to wheedle themselves into each other's confidences in the hope that they can discover where each keeps their savings so they can rob them. Eventually, they find that they are unable to keep up their pretence and household hostilities break out with the hapless Horace in the middle. They eventually decide to kill each other and doom beckons until Horace finds his courage and the worm begins to turn.

Horace Catchpole and Two Crude Dames is one of my most favourite stories. It gave me enormous pleasure to write and it is suitable for any reader from twelve to adulthood. It is set in Wigan in the early 1960’s. The two monstrous women in Horace’s life are a composite of every horrible and obnoxious woman that any man has ever come across. Imagine the worse kind of mother a chap could possibly have and the worse type of wife he could ever marry and then imagine trying to live under the same roof with each monstrous giving out their contradictory orders. That is what Horace Catchpole had to tolerate.

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Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

by William Forde
Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

Two Crude Dames and Horace Catchpole

by William Forde

eBook

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Overview

Horace Catchpole is an only son who was brought up in a single-parent family in Wigan. He is 28-years-old and still lives in the same house as he has always lived with his mother, Melissa. Melissa is a woman who dislikes her son intensely and is cruel and greedy in disposition. She has always ill-treated Horace and has reared and treated him far worse than any other Cinderella ever experienced at the hands of a tyrannical mother-figure. While the frugal Melissa lives well herself, she does so at the expense of making other economies in her life where Horace is concerned. Horace is clothed in rags and ill-fitting garments and is forced to eat scraps and left-overs. He sleeps on a bed without sheets and in a dark room. All of his day is devoted to fetching, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing and slaving for his mother. Along with his fair share of daily beatings, Horace’s life is very unhappy and without any sense of meaning. His mother has controlled him totally since he was born and ruled him with an iron hand that he is no longer able to think for himself and comes across as an apology for a creature; a wimp of a man.

Then the day comes when his mother sells him to another woman who wants to marry a submissive man who will carry out her will without question. Horace marries Mildred Savage, a twice-married twice- widowed woman whose monstrous personality and cruel and greedy character traits matches those of Horace’s mother.

Horace fares no better under his monstrous wife than he did under his mother. Then, in order to save money, both women propose that all three of them live together. With two matriarchal monsters in the house giving out their orders to Horace, his life remains as bad if not worse than before.

Initially, the two monstrous women feign false compliments and friendship in order to wheedle themselves into each other's confidences in the hope that they can discover where each keeps their savings so they can rob them. Eventually, they find that they are unable to keep up their pretence and household hostilities break out with the hapless Horace in the middle. They eventually decide to kill each other and doom beckons until Horace finds his courage and the worm begins to turn.

Horace Catchpole and Two Crude Dames is one of my most favourite stories. It gave me enormous pleasure to write and it is suitable for any reader from twelve to adulthood. It is set in Wigan in the early 1960’s. The two monstrous women in Horace’s life are a composite of every horrible and obnoxious woman that any man has ever come across. Imagine the worse kind of mother a chap could possibly have and the worse type of wife he could ever marry and then imagine trying to live under the same roof with each monstrous giving out their contradictory orders. That is what Horace Catchpole had to tolerate.


Product Details

BN ID: 2940044502253
Publisher: William Forde
Publication date: 04/28/2013
Sold by: Smashwords
Format: eBook
File size: 380 KB
Age Range: 12 Years

About the Author

William Forde was born in Ireland and currently lives in Haworth, West Yorkshire with his wife Sheila. He is the father of five children and the author of over 60 published books and two musical plays. Approximately 20 of his books are suitable for the 7-11 year old readers while the remainder are suitable for young persons and adults. Since 2010, all of his new stories have been written for adults under his 'Tales from Portlaw' series of short stories. His website is www.fordefables.co.uk on which all his miscellaneous writings may be freely read. There are also a number of children's audio stories which can be freely heard.

He is unique in the field of contemporary children's authors through the challenging emotional issues and story themes he addresses, preferring to focus upon those emotions that children and adults find most difficult to appropriately express.

One of West Yorkshire's most popular children's authors, Between 1990 and 2002 his books were publicly read in over 2,000 Yorkshire school assemblies by over 800 famous names and celebrities from the realms of Royalty, Film, Stage, Screen, Politics, Church, Sport, etc. The late Princess Diana used to read his earlier books to her then young children, William and Harry and Nelson Mandela once telephoned him to praise an African story book he had written. Others who have supported his works have included three Princesses, three Prime Ministers, two Presidents and numerous Bishops of the realm. A former Chief Inspector of Schools for OFSTED described his writing to the press as 'High quality literature.' He has also written books which are suitable for adults along with a number of crossover books that are suitable for teenagers and adults.

Forever at the forefront of change, at the age of 18 years, William became the youngest Youth Leader and Trade Union Shop Steward in Great Britain. In 1971, He founded Anger Management in Great Britain and freely gave his courses to the world. Within the next two years, Anger Management courses had mushroomed across the English-speaking world. During the mid-70's, he introduced Relaxation Training into H.M. Prisons and between 1970 and 1995, he worked in West Yorkshire as a Probation Officer specialising in Relaxation Training, Anger Management, Stress Management and Assertive Training Group Work.
He retired early on the grounds of ill health in 1995 to further his writing career, which witnessed him working with the Minister of Youth and Culture in Jamaica to establish a trans-Atlantic pen-pal project between 32 primary schools in Falmouth, Jamaica and 32 primary schools in Yorkshire.

William was awarded the MBE in the New Year's Honours List of 1995 for his services to West Yorkshire. He has never sought to materially profit from the publication of his books and writings and has allowed all profit from their sales (approx £200,000) to be given to charity. Since 2013, he was diagnosed with CLL; a terminal condition for which he is currently receiving treatment.

In 2014, William had his very first 'strictly for adult' reader's novel puiblished called‘Rebecca’s Revenge'. This book was first written over twenty years ago and spans the period between the 1950s and the New Millennium. He initially refrained from having it published because of his ‘children’s author credentials and charity work’. He felt that it would have conflicted too adversely with the image which had taken a decade or more to establish with his audience and young person readership. Now, however as he approaches the final years of his life and cares less about his public image, besides no longer writing for children (only short stories for adults since 2010), he feels the time to be appropriate to publish this ‘strictly for adults only’ novel alongside the remainder of his work.

In December 2016 he was diagnosed with skin cancer on his face and two weeks later he was diagnosed with High-grade Lymphoma (Richter’s Transformation from CLL). He was successfully treated during the first half of 2017 and is presently enjoying good health albeit with no effective immune system.

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