Two Lane Gems, Vol. 1: Turkeys are Jerks and Other Observations from an American Road Trip

Two Lane Gems, Vol. 1: Turkeys are Jerks and Other Observations from an American Road Trip

by Theresa L. Goodrich


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Two Lane Gems, Vol. 1: Turkeys are jerks and other observations from an American Road Trip is a road trip romp from the Chicago area to San Diego and back. Theresa Goodrich grabs her laptop, her camera, and her journal and makes (asks, she means, asks) her husband, Jim, to drive 6,479.5 miles through thirteen states so she can fulfill a childhood dream.

Starting at the most important archaeological site in North America, their journey takes them through sand dunes, forests, plains, and mountains. They stayed in haunted hotels, a rustic cabin, charming bed and breakfasts, and the oldest motel in Arizona. They camped in canyons and deserts and were visited by deer and surrounded by turkeys (jerks). They met a World War II vet, learned how to grow a date, and had a beer in the lowest bar in the Western hemisphere with a bartender named Scheherazade.

They also:

  • made a wish at the Center of the World
  • toured an abandoned mountain lion zoo
  • rode a vintage train with a singing engineer
  • ate schnecks
  • touched goblins
  • did not get blown up by unexploded ordnance
  • did not kill each other

Two Lane Gems, Vol. 1 is an uplifting, inspirational, and often humorous love letter to America. From cliff dwellings to buried cars to more hoodoos than you can shake a switchback at, this tale follows their round-about journey to find the country’s treasures.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780960049554
Publisher: Local Tourist
Publication date: 04/03/2019
Series: Two Lane Gems , #1
Edition description: Second
Pages: 278
Sales rank: 906,864
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.76(d)

About the Author

Theresa L. Goodrich tells people where to go for a living. After graduating with a BA in Journalism she went straight to self-publishing, founding The Local Tourist in 2002. Fourteen years and an Emmy later, she launched Drive By Towns, a companion website focusing on "two lane gems." She's slightly obsessed with road trips, camping, and her husband. When she's not writing or on the road, she's cooking and planning her next adventure.

Table of Contents

Prologue 9

Chapter 1

And, They’re Off! 10

Chapter 2

History and Hospitality 14

Chapter 3

Eureka! Springs, That Is 22

Chapter 4

Big Cats and Bigger Hearts 33

Chapter 5

Perseverance and Silver Linings 39

Chapter 6

Remembering to Breathe 42

Chapter 7

Half a Billion Years in the Making 46

Chapter 8

Random, Schmandom 56

Chapter 9

Turkeys are Jerks 59

Chapter 10

Surviving I-40 67

Chapter 11

Camping Should Be a Pre-Marriage Requirement 75

Chapter 12

Meeting the Greatest Generation 78

Chapter 13

An Anti-Tourist Trap Tour 82

Chapter 14

The Beauty and Danger of Bed & Breakfasts 89

Chapter 15

Where the Past is Always Present 93

Chapter 16

Real Life Happened Here 101

Chapter 17

The Singing Road and Stuff Carved Into Rocks 106

Chapter 18

How to Survive an Epic Road Trip 113

Chapter 19

Ghost Towns and an Enchanting Excursion 117

Chapter 20

Schnecks and Switchbacks 125

Chapter 21

Sunny and Dry My ... 131

Chapter 22

All in the Family 136

Chapter 23

How to Grow a Date 143

Chapter 24

A High School Full of Criminals 149

Chapter 25

The Center of the World 153

Chapter 26

Salvation Below Sea Level 161

Chapter 27

Romancing the Road Trip 169

Chapter 28

The Kindness of Rangers 174

Chapter 29

Hopalong, Gunga Din 180

Chapter 30

Never Forget. Never Again 186

Chapter 31

The Mule Capital of the World 189

Chapter 32

The Town That’s So In-Clined 195

Chapter 33

So. Many. People. 202

Chapter 34

Look Jim, I’m a Goat! 207

Chapter 35

Hoodoo You Think You Are? 215

Chapter 36

If I Was Any Better I’d Have to be Twins 224

Chapter 37

In the Groove 232

Chapter 38

From Silent Sands to Dusty Grasslands 240

Chapter 39

Getting Bent 239

Chapter 40

Whoa There, Wichita 253

Chapter 41

Vittles and Fiddles 260

Chapter 42

The Final Stretch 266

Chapter 43

The Journey Begins 273

Acknowledgments 274

About the Author 276

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