Two Thoughtful Uncles Smiling to the Beat A Short Story by Jane Doe Boris Gump had always loved picturesque Amsterdam with its lovely, lazy lakes. It was a place where he felt barmy. He was an adorable, daring, cocoa drinker with slimy warts and ample eyelashes. His friends saw him as a greasy, green god. Once, he had even helped a sticky baby bird cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.